Kicking the storm
by rabidporcupine80
Summary: We all know the story. A person from a normal, boring world gets sucked into a world they already know. Maybe it was a game, or a show, or a movie. Maybe it was even a book. But what happens when another normal guy gets sucked into a world which is even more dangerous than usual, and it's all his fault? And he doesn't even get to be the main character!
1. Carriage of gross, sweaty people

**Alright, so a few things to get out of the way.** **First off, this is my first story on the site, so please tell me whether or not you guys actually like it and think it's worth continuing. Second, the grammar may very well suck ass, so please tell me if you find anything too bad. Thanks.**

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 **Chapter 1: The carriage full of gross, sweaty people**

For what was probably the sixth time since this whole thing started, I tried to remember exactly how I'd managed to get myself in this predicament. One minute, I was going to bed getting ready to sleep, and the next moment I was woken up by the carriage I had found myself in going over a bump in the road.

"But hold on Mr Incrediblyhandsomenarratorprotagonist!" I hear you saying, "Why are you in a carriage? It's the 21st century!"

Usually, I would agree wholeheartedly. Unfortunately though, it would appear from the attire of everyone else in the carriage that it was not, in fact, the 21st century. But thankfully, my amazing skills of observation have allowed me to recognize said attire and make an educated guess on the time period.

It was some year I can't quite remember, maybe 200, in the fourth era.

For those of you who don't understand what I mean by that, this is the exact same time period that the fifth game in the Elder Scrolls series, Skyrim, is set.

That's right my dear audience. Somehow, I had become trapped in the game. Normally, I would be a bit more sceptical about this, but when you wake up only to find yourself tied up in the back of a carriage with a blonde man who introduces himself as Ralof, a man he keeps calling 'horse thief', and a dark haired man with his mouth gagged, you don't have too many options on what to believe.

There was something different though, in that there was a fifth person in the carriage with us, still unconscious and tied up beside Ralof. This was the most confusing thing so far, as the game only places you in the carriage with three people when you start. So why was this girl here?

"Honestly," Ralof spoke up, breaking me out of my thoughts. "There have been too many abominations showing up around Skyrim recently. If it weren't for them, we might've been able to get away…"

"If you're talking about the Dunmer, I'll have you know that they're kind of awesome. They make armour from the bones of their enemies!" I replied, surprising myself a bit over how casually that came out. After all, wit is generally a foreign concept to me.

"Not them," he said quickly, "I don't have a problem with the Dark Elves, even if some other Stormcloaks do. I mean the _actual_ abominations."

This confused me a little, as I wasn't really sure what he was talking about. There were some strange enemies in Skyrim, but they all seemed to be treated fairly normally in the game, as if they weren't considered that strange in Tamriel.

"What do you mean by _actual_ abominations?" I asked him.

"You mean you don't remember?" He asked me with a confused frown. "I mean, I know you were unconscious when we showed up, but I assumed it was those creatures that were responsible for that."

"The last thing I remember was going to sleep for the night." I answered. It was technically true as well. They don't need to know that it took place in a whole separate world though, or at least not yet.

"Oh, I see." He muttered, before scratching his head and taking a look of intense concentration, as if he was desperately trying to figure out what he was going to say. "They were… terrifying, I suppose. They looked human but… they were misshapen, like they had been stretched, and they had huge claws on their hands… It's hard to explain…"

Huh.

I see.

That was terrifying.

"Hey," I asked him after about a minute of silence. "Have there been any weird spells being made recently, or any recent developments in the creation of new spells, possibly to do with gold?"

"Maybe…" He said. "I don't know a whole lot about magic, but I'm fairly certain that some folks have mentioned something along those lines. They don't call it gold though, they use some strange word. What was it? Aulun? Aulum?"

"Aurum?" I asked in dread, cringing as his face lit up in a small smile.

"That's it." He said. "Do you know much about it?"

"Too much." I said, shuddering at the realisation of what had happened.

I wasn't just in Skyrim. I was in _my_ copy of Skyrim.

My **_heavily modded_** copy of Skyrim.

Dear fucking lord, I was going to die here.

Before I could start truly panicking though, the girl stirred slightly, before going still again.

"Well!" Ralof said, "Looks like you're finally awake. Don't bother trying to hide it, I saw you when you tried to sneak a look just then."

I was about to tell him that he was imagining things when she let out a small grunt and opened her eyes.

"So, who exactly are you?" Ralof asked her. "You don't look much older than this kid, so I'm surprised you'd be trying to cross the border all alone."

"Why didn't you get confused over me?" I asked him.

"Well, you _were_ lying in the middle of a snowy forest wearing nothing but your undergarments with three horrifying abominations standing around you. I just assumed that you were either insane or lost. Or stupid." Ralof said. "I _did_ try to convince the Imperials that you weren't a Stormcloak, but apparently telling them that you were probably an insane daedra worshipper didn't help your chances."

"You're surprisingly honest towards someone who you thought was a highly insane and dangerous individual." I grumbled out. Even though that's technically how I played it when it was still a game, it still hurt to be accused of it.

"Ha!" He chuckled, "You'd probably be killed here if you tried something anyway, what with all these Imperial bastards here!"

"And why do you expect that to stop him? If he _is_ insane, do you think he would care?"

At that interruption, everyone turned to look at the girl.

"Hah!" Ralof laughed again, louder this time. "That's true!"

He continued to laugh for a bit, before trailing off, and looking to the floor of the carriage.

"It's a damn shame though, that you two would get caught up in this." He said, a cynical looking grin on his face. "You're both so young, probably haven't even seen you're twentieth winter… And now you're here."

"And it's your own damn fault!" The last man apart from Ulfric said loudly. I think his name was Lokir? Yeah, that sounded right. "If it hadn't been for you messing everything up, the Empire wouldn't have even been there!"

"Shut up back there!" The man driving the carriage shrieked, his voice going about an octave hire than it did in the game. When I looked closer, he was also trembling slightly. I figured there could only be two reasons for this. Either he was feeling guilty thanks to Ralof's words, or we were slowly driving him insane.

Lokir, however, had not stopped ranting. "It's your fault that we were captured, and now we're all going to have to spend the rest of our days rotting in a prison somewhere!"

We were all silent for about half a minute, before Ralof spoke up again.

"A prison?" He asked, his voice sounding as if he couldn't quite believe what was Lokir had said. "You think we'll get to live out the rest of our lives in a prison? Who do you think you're sitting across from?!"

In response to this, Lokir jumped slightly, before beginning to examine the last person in the carriage. It took a while, but it wasn't hard to see when he finally realised who he was looking at.

"Oh… Oh gods…" he managed to choke out, before he began to tear up. "No… NO! This can't be happening! Please let this not be happening!" He continued to cry out in fear for a few minutes, until he finally began to mutter to the divines to save him.

"Who are you, horse-thief?" Ralof asked him.

"Wh-why do you care?"

"A Nord's last thoughts should be of their home, and their loved ones." Ralof replied simply.

It took a few more minutes, but eventually he managed to get his emotions under control enough to answer.

"My name is Lokir, Lokir of Rorikstead." He replied, his voice still shaking.

"My name is Ralof. I'm from Riverwood." Ralof said.

"My name is Leone Vallius, of Dragonbridge." The girl said, looking at everyone with mild suspicion.

"Mmmphmphmhm, mmmphmmphmhhmph." Ulfric said from behind the fabric covering his mouth.

Everyone looked to me, expecting me to continue. I might even have been able to hold it back if not for the fact that I'm terrible with pressure. Eventually, all I could do was sigh and say the only thing I could think of.

"My name is Joseph Moore, and I'm afraid I don't remember where I'm from."


	2. Alduin the scary bastard

**Alright, so here I am with chapter 2. Honestly, I had hoped that I'd get some form of evidence to suggest that there was actual interest in this story, but I was still really surprised when it actually happened! I am very, very happy about this, and ask that if anyone who reads this has anything you want to say, feel free to mention it. I will do my best to follow any advice I'm given as soon as I work out how to navigate the actual writing and publishing side of this site. Thank you for continuing to read this even after seeing a good game contaminated by my stupidity.**

 **And seeing as I don't think I did it last chapter, I don't own Skyrim. I mean, I own a copy of the game, but not the** ** _actual_** **game. Bethesda does. Thank them before you thank me.**

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 **Chapter 2: Alduin being a shithead.**

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?! IS THAT REALLY THE BEST THING I CAN SAY?! I KNOW I COULD HAVE COME UP WITH SOMETHING LESS STUPIDLY CLICHED THAN AMNESIA!

"Well." Ralof said after a few moments of silence. "That's depressing."

"No kidding, especially after what you just said about remembering your home and loved ones…" Lokir followed.

Ralof looked back at me, before suddenly looking regretful again.

"Hey, hey, don't be upset. I'm sure everything will work out, right everyone?"

He looked around at everyone, only to be faced with blank stares at the obvious lie.

"Alright, fine. Be cruel like that." He said grumpily.

"General Tullius, sir! The headsman is waiting."

"Good, let's get this over with."

I turned in the direction the voices had come from to see that we had arrived.

Helgen, the town where everything begins.

Just fucking peachy…

"Look over there." Ralof said, his face twisted in disgust. "General Tullius, the military governor, and it looks like the damn Thalmor are with him!"

Oh, right. The Thalmor were here too. I generally sided with the Legion, but if there was one thing I could agree with the Stormcloaks about, it was the Thalmor.

"Jerks." I muttered under my breath, before turning around to see an image of raw fury.

The girl, Leone, was looking at the Thalmor representative with a face of pure, unrestrained loathing.

"Looks like you have some history with them." Ralof said. "Then again, who doesn't these days?"

He looked around, before sighing. "It's strange. Imperial walls like these used to make me feel so safe…"

"W-we're stopping." Lokir said shakily. "Why are we stopping?!"

"Why do you think?" Ralof asked him. "End of the line… The best we can hope for now is that the others will keep the Thalmor from completely destroying Skyrim…"

"Alright!" A female voice called out, and I looked to see the only reason I ever joined the Stormcloaks, a woman I lovingly nicknamed 'The Bitch Commander'. "Step towards the block when we call your name, one at a time. Move it!"

"Empire loves their damn lists…" Ralof sighed.

"Ulfric Stormcloak, Jarl of Windhelm."

There was a voice I knew well.

Hadvar.

"It has been an honour, Jarl Ulfric." Ralof said as he watched Ulfric walk over to the growing crowd.

"Ralof of Riverwood." He said, and they both glared at each other as Ralof passed. Now that I think about it, they would have known each other seeing as they both grew up in Riverwood. They might even have been good friends before this whole war thing pushed them apart. Maybe I could get them to be friends again. That would be pretty cool.

"Lokir of Rorikstead."

"Wait!" Lokir cried out, obviously terrified. "I'm not a rebel! You can't do this!"

"Halt!" Bitch Commander shouted as Lokir began to run to the gates.

"No Lokir! Stop!" I tried to call out to him, but I knew it was too late. By the time I had finished shouting, an arrow was already sticking through his back.

I had never seen someone die before, at least, not in real life. I couldn't help but notice how weird it felt. I had only known him for less than half an hour, but it still left me with this horrible, empty feeling.

"Wait, you there." Hadvar called out. "Who are you?"

Ah, this is the moment where I introduce myself. Before I could speak though, another voice cut me off, and I followed Hadvar's gaze to see who he had actually been addressing.

"My name is Leone Vallius of South Dragonbridge."

"I see." Hadvar said. "I'm afraid you picked a bad time to return home, Miss Vallius."

He turned to Bitch Commander.

"Captain, what should we do? She's not on the list."

"Forget the list." Bitch Commander bitchily replied. "She goes to the block."

"By your orders captain." Hadvar replied, before turning back to Leone with a sad smile on his face. "I'm sorry. At least you'll die here, in your homeland."

As she walked away, Hadvar turned to me with an even more confused face then when he was talking to Leone.

"So who are you?" He asked me, looking as if he was searching my face for something. "You have the look of a Nord, but most Nords shun magic, especially conjuration."

"My name is Joseph Moore." I tell him, slightly annoyed that everyone already seems to believe I've been recklessly summoning daedra. I don't have nearly enough magicka to do that yet. "I didn't summon those creatures, and I don't remember where I'm from."

"I know." He replied, startling me. Seeing my surprise over how he already knows, he continued. "I was riding behind your carriage. It was pretty hard not to hear what most of you were saying. However, you'll have to forgive me if I don't believe you. Memory loss is quite a common excuse."

After saying this, he sent me to the crowd, where the priestess had already started her prayer for all of us. Just like in the game though, that dumb red-headed Stormcloak interrupted her in the middle of it, probably damning every single one of us in case we actually _do_ die.

I was broken out of my thoughts by an incredibly loud roar which came from the mountains, startling everyone.

"What was that?" Hadvar asked no one in particular.

"It was nothing." Bitch Commander said, dismissing Hadvar's very valid concern. Probably because she's a huge bitch. "Continue the execution."

"Don't look away." Ralof whispered from somewhere behind me. "If there's ever a time to accept death, it's now."

And so I had to watch yet another person die, this time even more brutally than the last.

I noted with morbid curiosity that unlike what I had heard, it only took one swing for the axe to decapitate the man, so at least it was over quickly.

"Next prisoner!" Bitch Commander shouted out. "The half-breed in the rags!"

Did she really just say _half-breed?_ Oh, she is not making the decision to go with Hadvar and side with the imperials any easier…

Just as I was thinking this, another loud roar echoed out from the mountains.

"There it is again." Hadvar said, becoming increasingly wary.

"I said next prisoner!" Bitch Commander growled out.

"Walk over to the block." Hadvar told Leone. "Nice and easy."

As she walked over and laid her head on the block, I found myself hoping Alduin would just hurry the hell up.

Finally, a third ear-splitting roar burst out from the clouds, which started rotating and sending out bolts of lightning.

"Sentries, what do you see?!" Bitch Commander shouted to two men at the top of the tower.

"It's in the clouds!" One of them managed to shout back, before he was crushed by the force of a giant dragon landing on top of him.

Oh look. There was that mod I'd installed that made Alduin _even more terrifying than before!_

 **"STRUN BAH QO!"** Alduin shouted, conveniently sending the headsman flying just before he could bring the axe down on Leone's neck, but dazed her in the process.

"Ralof!" I shouted, not entirely sure where my sudden burst of bravery had come from. "Help me get Leone!"

"Right!" He shouted back, and we both ran over and did our best to help her into another tower around about twenty metres away.

"Wh… Wha?" She asked as she slowly regained control over herself.

"Jarl Ulfric!" Ralof shouted upon seeing the now ungagged Jarl was also in the tower with some of the other Stormcloaks. "Could the legends be true? Was that really a dragon? One of the bringers of the end times?"

"Legends don't burn down villages." Ulfric replied, his voice grave.

"We need to find a way out of here, before that beast gets in." Ralof said, as he looked around for a path to escape. "Quickly, up the stairs."

We followed him up, before a certain memory floated through my head.

"WAIT!" I shouted, pulling them back just before Alduin's head broke through the side of the tower and roasted an unfortunate Stormcloak who was trying to clear the rubble from the stairs.

"Thanks," Ralof said quickly, before looking out of the hole and pointing to the building next to it, where the roof had a convenient hole knocked into it. "You're going to have to jump! I'll try and catch up when I can!"

"Is there any other way I can go?" I asked him. "I'm not great with hei-"

Unfortunately, my enquiry to Ralof was interrupted when Leone grabbed me by the collar and pulled me out with her. It was only due to sheer luck that the straw roof that had been knocked away had formed a conveniently soft pile where it landed, otherwise I probably would have ended up in a lot more pain than I already did.

Not to say that it didn't hurt though.

Because it did.

A LOT.

"Quit your whining and run!" Leone shouted impatiently, dragging me by the arm through the burning building.

After another, less terrifying drop from the second story of the house to the first, we manage to climb through a hole in the wall to see Hadvar, where he was doing his best to help the surviving villagers.

He was calling to a child a few metres away, who was trying and failing to drag an injured man over to the others.

"Hamling! You need to get over here now!"

"Go Hamling!" The man, who was probably his father, shouted, causing Hamling to run over to the group, tears streaming down his face.

"Attaboy Hamling, you're doing great." Hadvar said, as he made to get up and bring the man back too.

Just before he could though, Alduin landed just a few metres behind the man.

All Hadvar managed to do was shout "TOROLF!" before flames engulfed the man, forcing Hadvar to get back to cover.

"Damn it!" Hadvar shouted, as Hamling burst into tears next to him. He looked up when we got to him, not even trying to hide the tears that were sliding down his cheeks as well. "Still alive you two? Good. If you want to stay that way, stay close to me or follow Gunnar."

He then turned to Gunnar. "Gunnar, take care of the boy, I have to find General Tullius and join the defence."

"Gods guide you, Hadvar." Gunnar said in response, and with a quick nod, he took the rest of the survivors and led them away.

Leone followed Hadvar, and after a few seconds I ran after them. This was largely due to the fact that I don't remember seeing anyone named Gunnar at any point in the game after Helgen.

After a harrowing run through the burning town, we finally managed to get into a more open area. It seemed like most of the Imperials were here, mages and archers trying and failing to do any kind of damage to the beast that was grabbing their friends from the streets.

"Hadvar!" Tullius called out to us. "Get into the keep soldier, we're leaving!"

We began running to the fort, only to stop when we were met by Ralof.

"Ralof!" Hadvar shouted at him. "You damned traitor! Get out of our way!"

"We're not attacking you Hadvar, we're escaping!" Ralof shouted back at him. "And you'll not stop us this time!"

"Fine!" Hadvar growled after a second. "I hope that dragon takes you all to Sovngarde! Quickly you two, follow me into the keep!"

"Follow me friends!" Ralof shouted to us.

I had already decided who I would go with when I was on the carriage, so I didn't waste any time in following Hadvar into the barracks of the fort.

It wasn't until we were safe and in the building when we both realised that something was wrong.

"Joseph, where's Miss Vallius?"


	3. Face off

**Hey guys, it's me again. Guess what, for the (likely few) people who have actually been enjoying this story, I've got a treat for you! TWO CHAPTERS IN THE SAME DAY! WHA?!**

 **Yep. I hope you guys are having as much fun writing this as I am. Hopefully more, actually, because I never really have any fun with anything. So, you know, enjoy! Review if you have any feedback.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Skyrim. It won't be worth it to sue me, because I have no money.**

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 **Chapter 3: Face off**

"What do you mean?! Why would she go with Ralof?!"

"Well," I said slowly, trying to calm Hadvar down. "He was very friendly on the way here, and I am pretty certain that she has a problem with the Thalmor. Not only that, but Bitch Commander called her _half-breed._ She doesn't exactly have too many reasons to side with the Imperials right now."

"Damn it. Fine." He said, before pulling out a knife, the angry expression never leaving his face.

Naturally, this scared the shit out of me, but he was quick to assure me that it was just to remove the ropes around my wrists.

"Ok, get yourself a sword and some armour and then we can try and escape." Hadvar told me.

"Ok, but I'm not sure I'm going to have the time to fiddle with all those straps though, so I'll just get a sword." I told him.

"Suit yourself." He said, before walking over to the gate that led further into the keep and pulling the chain.

It was at this point that I began to wonder if it would still be the jerks who never listened to our attempts to negotiate in the round room, seeing as Ralof actually has someone with him this time.

"Wait!" Hadvar suddenly whispered to me. "I think the people in there are Stormcloaks. I want to see if I can reason with them."

He pulled on the chain, and as soon as the gate opened he begun to talk.

"Don't attack, we just want to ta-"

In the room, as predicted, were Ralof and Leone. Leone had taken the armour from the dead Stormcloak who was already in the room, and had only managed to put it on half way before we got in.

A few moments passed, with everyone frozen in the position they had entered in.

"Why are you surprised by this?" I asked, breaking the silence. "We all saw each other run into these rooms literally a few minutes ago."

As soon as I finished speaking, everyone started moving again. Leone managed to pull the armour on and I, for whatever stupid reason, found myself running between Hadvar and Ralof as they drew their weapons.

"WHY?!" I screamed. "I mean, I know _why_ , but why now?!"

"You were my friend Ralof!" Hadvar shouted at him. "We were going to join the legion and protect Skyrim together! But then you went and joined the damned Stormcloaks, who are tearing Skyrim apart! THEY'RE EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANTED TO FIGHT AGAINST!"

"The legion gave up on Skyrim the moment the emperor agreed to the White-Gold concordat!" Ralof spat back at him. "The only reason the legion still exists here in Skyrim is to make sure that the true Nords here don't rise up and tear the Thalmor to pieces! The Thalmor are destroying everything we held dear, and instead of fighting them off, the legion is protecting them! I'M FAIRLY CERTAIN THAT _THAT'S_ WHAT I WANTED TO FIGHT AGAINST!"

"THERES A FUCKING DRAGON OUTSIDE!" I screamed at the both of them, trying desperately to get their attention. "Listen, you both have reasonable arguments here, but if we fight here, we'll all just end up getting eaten by the building sized flying death monster out there, so can you at least _try_ to keep them your swords in your scabbards until we're not in imminent danger of being eat-murdered?!"

It took a few moments, but finally, they responded.

"Hmph, fine." Ralof said, disdain filling his voice. "But if he tries to betray us, I'll kill him."

"I agree." Hadvar followed. "But just remember who betrayed who first."

"Alright, good." I said with a relieved sigh. "They still kind of hate each other, but its progress."

"I never agreed."

Shit. I had forgotten about her.

"Why would you not agree?" I asked her, trying to keep the frustration out of my voice.

"You were too calm."

"I… What?" I stammered out, not entirely sure I liked where this was going.

"On the carriage." She said, her eyes narrow with suspicion. "It wasn't exactly a secret how all of this was meant to end, but even when we walked over to the chopping block, you showed no fear. You didn't even have that dumb 'proud defiance' look that all those other idiots did. You just looked like it wasn't going to matter. You were expecting something."

Here, she closed the gap between us, grabbed the collar of my shirt, and pushed me against the wall. Hadvar and Ralof looked like they were prepared to intervene, but were worried to do so in case she decided to actually try and kill me.

"You knew." She hissed out. "You knew that dragon was going to attack. I saw the look in your eyes when the roaring started. It wasn't shock. It wasn't fear. It was _recognition_. You knew, and yet you let everyone die."

She let go of me, and I slid down to the floor.

"How can I trust someone like that?"

Shit. This is bad. How do I explain that?

Wait.

"If I had told you it was coming," I started, desperately hoping this would work. "If I had told you, would you have believed me?"

Everyone looked at me, Ralof and Hadvar looking at me in disbelief and Leone… well… Leone just looked pissed.

"You already said it before Ralof, you thought I was insane. Hadvar stopped believing me when he heard I had lost my memory, and I'm fairly certain that Leone hasn't trusted me from the very start! If I had told you a dragon, something nobody even believed in anymore until a few minutes ago, was going to swoop down and destroy the town, you either would have thought it was the ranting of a madman or an excuse to try and escape! How could I tell you what was coming?!"

"How did you know?" Leone asked. She was still pissed, but it looked like she might be feeling a little bit of regret after what I said.

Ok, here we go. This is my second, and probably last chance to come up with a good excuse. C'mon brain, don't fail me now.

"Because I've been having this exact dream every night of my life."


	4. Reality

**No real author's notes for this chapter, because I already did them in the last one. Just the usual, let me know if you liked the story and all that.**

 **Oh wait, this chapter** ** _is_** **a little darker than usual, so be warned.**

 **Disclaimer: Bethesda owns Skyrim, not me. I have no money. Please don't sue me.**

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 **Chapter 4: Back to reality.**

PROPHETIC DREAMS?! FUCKING SERIOUSLY?! WHY DON'T YOU JUST TAKE YOUR SWORD AND STAB YOURSELF NOW!

As the little voice in my head screamed bloody murder at my brain, I did my best to hold my face in an expression which won't get me hacked to pieces by a woman who seems to want to murder me anyway.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Leone asked.

I failed, miserably.

"I'm constipated and it's making my stomach hurt."

Fuck.

Just…

Fuck.

"Fine, but if you slow me down, I'm going to leave you behind."

Wait.

What.

WHAT.

WHAT THE FUCK?! HOW THE FUCK IS _THAT_ WHAT CONVINCED HER TO TRUST ME?! THAT WAS EASILY THE WORST OF THE BAD EXCUSES FOR… EXCUSES THAT I HAD GIVEN TODAY!

"By the nine, it must be pretty bad." Ralof said, cringing. "Your expression has gotten even worse. We'll have to get you a potion to cure that in Riverwood."

I'm… I'm done. I don't know what to expect anymore.

"Well, if you've seen all this before, is there anything else you can tell us?"

I was pretty sure that was Hadvar who just spoke. I wasn't too sure though, I was kind of moving under autopilot by that point.

How the fuck did they believe that?

Realising that, whoever it was who asked, they were probably still waiting for a reply, I managed to get out a few words.

"Um, yeah. We wander through the fort, there's a storeroom full of jerks who attack us and I usually end up having to kill them. I'm always with one of you two, and the guys are always the opposing faction. Then there's a torture room with some Stormcloaks fighting the head torturer and his assistant, and I've always killed him. The assistant isn't that bad though, and he even helps us when I'm with the imperials. Then after that, we go through a hole in the wall into a cave which is filled with the other team. They generally all die. Then there's another cavern further along filled with… Spiders."

At the mention of the spiders, both Ralof, Hadvar and I all shuddered in unison.

Which gave me an idea.

"You know," I started. "I hear that frostbite spiders aren't actually animals like normal spiders are… They're actually evil spirits that form whenever friends start feuding… For every hour that passes between the beginning and the end of the feud, ten frostbite spiders are formed."

Ralof and Hadvar both paled when they heard this, and slowly looked to each other.

"Umm… Sorry, I guess…" Hadvar said. "I still think you're wrong, but… _SPIDERS."_

"Yes." Ralof replied. "If it gets rid of the spiders, I can put aside my differences with you for the greater good."

"None of what he said is true."

"DAMN IT LEONE!" I shouted, glaring at the monster who would completely undo all my efforts so casually. "WHY?! THEY WERE MAKING UP! THEY WERE GOING TO BE FRIENDS AGAIN AND IT WAS GOING TO BE ADORABLE!"

"A friendship based on lies will just fall apart." She replied simply.

Sighing, I just kept walking and grumbling under my breath. It wasn't long before we reached the door to the storeroom. Hadvar and I stopped, knowing that this was the room. The others kept walking.

Yeah, I thought to myself, a friendship based on lies will fall apart. Just like that roof in a bit.

Oh, wait.

"Stop! That roof collapses!" I yelled as I grabbed them by the collars and yanked them to a stop just before a few tonnes of rock and debris could bury them.

"Thanks again." Ralof said once he catches his breath. "That's the second time you've saved us like that."

Feeling a little bashful, all I could do is twiddle my fingers around like an idiot. I wasn't really used to this kind of praise.

Even Leone gave me a quick nod of appreciation, giving me the impression that maybe… just maybe… she actually _does_ have something resembling a positive emotion somewhere inside of her, making me kind of happy.

Then any trace of happiness left us all as we stared at the heap of corpses inside the storeroom.

A small part of my mind told me that I should have expected this. After all, if the opposing faction is always in the rooms depending on who you follow, then isn't it natural that following them both will cause both factions to inhabit the rooms? Or maybe it was like this purely because of the fact that this was pretty much real life now.

"Damn it." Ralof spat out, his face contorted in a combination of anger, sadness and disgust.

The torture room was in a similar state. Everyone in the room was dead. One Stormcloak, most likely the last survivor, had dragged himself towards the tunnel before finally losing his life. The same thing had happened in the large cavern as well, with dead men and women strewn across the bridges and stairs. The small river was red with the blood of an Imperial soldier, who had died face down with a spear sticking out of his back.

As we crossed the small drawbridge leading into the cavern system, I realised that I hadn't looted the lightning spell of the dead mage in the torture chamber like I had planned too, but in the end I didn't really care.

"Are you alright?"

I looked to Hadvar, who looked back at me with concern.

"Kind of," I replied in a shaky voice. "It's just a lot harder to see so many dead people in real life. It was a lot easier in the dreams."

I paused, as I remembered something important.

"That drawbridge collapses by the way."

Right on cue, a large portion of the caverns roof crashed through the small drawbridge.

They all look back, before turning to face me again.

"Well, I'm not sure I would have wanted to go back that way anyway." Ralof says, getting nods from the other two.

Slowly, I managed to regain my composure, and instantly walked into the tunnel which led away from the spider tunnel.

"Is that the way out?" Leone called to me, as they began to follow me in.

"What?" I asked, before remembering why they were following me. "Oh, no. It's just that there's some gold in here that I feel I'm going to need when I get out."

"… I see…" Leone said. I was a little confused over the tone she had used, but before long I realised what was wrong.

"I guess you don't have any money either, huh?" I asked her.

Despite her attempts to hide it, it wasn't exactly hard to tell that I was right.

That was one hell of a face she was making though. I almost felt a little bad for bringing it up, even though I had no idea why I should feel bad about it…

When she saw the blank looks she was getting, she dropped the poor attempt at a poker face in preference of trying to brush the incident off.

"It doesn't matter if I don't have any money right now. I'll be able to survive on my own until I get to my mother's house in Kynesgrove."

"Don't worry." Hadvar chimes in. "My uncle is the blacksmith in Riverwood. I'm sure he'll be able to provide you with some supplies once he hears our story."

"My sister would also be happy to help." Ralof added. "And just for the record, she's also less likely to report you to any passing members of the legion as escaped prisoners."

The two began to glare at each other again, but thankfully, any potential argument was prevented as we entered the spider room.

Of course, this was also a bad thing, because it was a cavern full of giant fucking spiders.

As I flailed the iron sword around, with surprisingly positive results, I realised just how big this actually was. I'd been completely removed from my home, and placed in a game universe which has, so far, worked much like the real world.

If you're a little bit confused as to why I came to that realisation at that specific point, don't be. The only reason I realised it was because I realised that, despite all of that, I haven't felt like crying until now, and that's because I'm fighting _giant fucking spiders._

However, even with my near-crippling arachnophobia, I feel pretty proud of how well I managed to keep it together in there.

"OHJESUSWHYISTHISHAPPENINGWHYDOTHESEEXISTOHFUCKWHY?!"

I will admit, I could have done better, but… _giant fucking spiders._

Still, by the time we had finished I had managed to kill three of the spiders, which is pretty good considering I couldn't do much more than flail my sword around and cry.

"I'm not sure how," I heard Leone say, "But you just managed to go completely against what logic dictates should have happened just then."

"What can I say? It's a talent." I replied, as I tried to spin the sword in my hand, dropped it, and barely avoided stabbing myself in the foot.

"… I can see that…" She replied, a blank expression on her face as she stared at my stupidity.

Trying to keep the knowledge of just how unimpressive I am out of my head, I followed the rest of the group as we go into the next cavern.

"Hold up!" Hadvar whispered. "There's a bear up ahead, see? I don't think we should tangle with her now, so we could sneak past her. Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, one of us could try and shoot her with this bow, getting her out of the way quickly."

"I'll do it." Ralof said, taking the bow. "Heh, I always was better with a bow than you."

"Not possible." Hadvar replied, watching as Ralof sends the arrow flying into the bear's side. "No one in Tamriel is better with a bow than I am."

"Maybe you should have a contest when you get home!" I chimed in, seeing another chance to potentially get them to make nice.

"Without shooting each other." Leone added.

Upon seeing the look of disbelief I was sending her, she spoke again.

"What? I never said that I didn't want them to make up. I just said that lying wouldn't accomplish anything."

Sighing, I just followed after them as they ran to the exit. It was just too difficult to figure it out right now. Maybe if levelling still works here, I should look at persuasion.

These thoughts were cut off however, as I remembered the big downside to my eyes adjusting to darkness and then staring straight into the sun.

It fucking burns.


	5. The journey begins

**Hey guys, it's me again. We're finally out of Helgen, and ready to take on the world of Skyrim like a true veteran of the game. This essentially means running around the world doing whatever the hell we want, and only occasionally remember we have an actual job to do.**

 **Another thing, this chapter is the last one that I actually have pre-written, so while I'll do my best to update as fast as I can, it generally won't be as often as it was before now.**

 **Anyway, now that I've gotten all that crap out of the way, I hope you enjoy! Please review if you have anything to say, so I can fulfill my horrible addiction to attention without actually having to talk to people!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Skyrim. If I did, the quality of the game would have been much, much worse.**

* * *

 **Chapter 5: The journey begins**

The sun shines down on a small group of wanderers as they travel through the forest.

Behind them, lies only destruction, a town that has succumbed to storm and fire.

Two of them are soldiers, old friends torn apart by strife, war and their own ideals.

One of them is a mysterious dark-haired woman, her quest unknown to her companions.

One of them is a man pulled into a world not his own, one he has spent both a great deal of time in yet also none at all.

The sun shines down, and a legend begins.

"Why are you still mumbling back there?!" Leone shouted at me. "It's breaking my concentration!"

"It's narration!" I shout back, equally irritated at her blatant lack of understanding towards our situation. "When people look back over my legend, this is where it will begin!"

"You can barely fight! How will you become a legend without any basic combat skills?!"

"I killed more spiders than you did in the cave back there!"

"You just closed your eyes and flailed!"

"Yeah, exactly! I killed more spiders than you and I didn't even need to _look at them!"_

"Oh, for the love of Talos," Ralof groaned from in front of us. "Will you both just shut up?"

"He/She started it!" We both shouted, before turning and glaring at each other again.

"Oh? And how exactly did _I_ start it?!" I asked, wondering how the hell she could actually say that as if it was the truth. "I was just narrating the beginning of my epic legend and you suddenly went off at me!"

"Maybe because your narration had just hit the two hour mark!" She shouted back, her eye having apparently developed a twitch at some point since we escaped the cave. "I _know_ you saw how it was affecting me! Anyone with half a brain wou-"

 **"KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"**

Slowly, Leone and I turned our glares away from each other to see Ralof, struggling against a horrifying creature. It looked vaguely humanoid, and appeared to be wearing an imperi-…

Oh.

That's Hadvar.

Or at least it was once.

 **"THE VOICES!"** It roared, its voice a horrific combination of demonic screeches and bellows. **"THE VOICES WON'T STOP! LET ME DESTROY THEM. LET ME!"**

"What's wrong with him?!" Leone shouted, sounding almost like she was more worried about Hadvar than terrified of him.

Almost.

"It's you idiots!" Ralof shouted back, visibly struggling against the demonic entity that used to be his friend. "We left the cave five hours ago, and you've barely stopped shouting at each other that entire time!"

"How do we stop it?!" I shouted at him. Hadvar was even more terrifying than Alduin at the moment.

"I don't know! Try apologising to each other or something! Hurry, I can't hold him back much longer!"

Ugh. I really didn't want to apologise to Leone. She said some very hurtful things when we left the cave. Even if me screeching and rolling on the ground with my hands over my burning eyes might have seemed a little over the top to other people, I can honestly say it was a completely justified reaction.

Another reason I don't want to apologise is the look of utter disgust that crossed face as soon as Ralof said the word apologise.

Add to that the fact that as soon as she actually turned to look at me, she also had the nerve to look offended at _my_ reaction to the word.

What a hypocrite.

"Guuuuhhhhh." I grunt out, desperately trying to force the words out. **"LEONE. I'M SSSOOOORRRYYYY…"**

 **"I'M ALSO S… SO… RRRRYYYYY…"**

Despite my irritation, it felt like that actually helped. I even felt a little bit glad over the fact that we _both_ found extreme difficulty in forcing out that apology.

A small happiness that immediately grew into elation when I realised that I couldn't hear the screeching of a demonic horde anymore.

I turned to look at Hadvar, who looked as if he were having a little trouble staying upright, but was otherwise completely normal.

"What… What happened?" He mumbled out.

"You went insane and tried to murder them in a demonic rage." Ralof said, blatantly ignoring the looks of horror Leone and I sent him.

"Oh, really?" Hadvar asked, slowly regaining his ability to stand by himself. "Well, I can't say it's surprising. They _did_ bring about a rage within me I had never known existed."

"Well, to be fair," I begin. "The distance between the cave and Riverwood is definitely a lot longer than I remember it being in the dreams."

"Never knew exi- Are you serious?!" Ralof shouted in disbelief. "Do you not remember when those bears killed your dog?! You tore them apart! With your _BARE HANDS!_ "

"Heheh…" I laughed silently, as Leone began to frown in annoyance. She knew what was coming.

"Hey Ralof…"

"Don't."

"Did you just say-"

"Please."

" _BEAR_ HANDS?!" I shout, perhaps a little louder than required.

"Oh divines no…" Leone muttered with her palm over her face.

"OH YES!" I shouted back in glee. "You cracked it at the man who will soon be known as the greatest hero in all of Skyrim, and this, dear Leone, is your _PUN_ ishment!"

At this, Leone ignored me and turned towards Ralof and Hadvar.

"I'm going to stab him now. Is that ok?"

"Just wait a bit." Hadvar replied. "It may only last a short while. If it's still going in fifteen minutes, then you can kill him."

"God, you guys are no fun…" I mumbled dejectedly, before looking up to see something beautiful.

"Oh, guys. We made it! We're nearly there! I can see it now!"

"Hmm?" Ralof grunted, before looking to see what I was talking about. "Oh, he's right. Hadvar, the monks statues are just a little ways away."

"Oh, so they are. That's nice." Hadvar nodded along with him. "That means we'll only have about an hour of walking left."

THUD.

"It's unfair!" I sobbed silently into the dirt where I'd just collapsed. "Why couldn't it just be the same distance as it was in the game? Why'd it have to be so long? Oh god, if Helgen to Riverwood takes six hours, how long is it gonna take to get to Whiterun? No, how long is it gonna take to get to _Winterhold?!_ "

"Did you just say you were planning to walk from Riverwood to Whiterun?" I heard Ralof ask from ahead of me. "That would take a day and a half, at the very least. You should probably just take a carriage seeing as you don't have a tent. Wait, what's wrong? Why are you on the ground?"

"It must be the constipation." Hadvar said, reminding me of my desperate lie, which in turn reminded me why I hated my life. "We should get him to Riverwood. Ralof, could you grab his legs?"

"Sure, but first, we should take him to the standing stones. I have a feeling he'll get all whiney if we don't."

"You're damn right I will." I grunted out, trying my best to sound like I'm in pain. "Onwards peons!"

Don't judge me, I've saved their lives three times already. I deserve to be carried around for a bit.

Before long, we arrived at the standing stones, which were thankfully not too far from the monk's stones even with the new distances.

"Alright, here we are." Ralof said, as he put my legs down. "I assume you know about these from the dreams?"

"Yeah, I've used them a few times." I said. "But I wonder if it'll work the same way as I remember. Could you give me a quick explanation on what they do?"

I felt like I had a valid point here. I was pretty sure there weren't any skills or levels in this horrible, _realistic_ version of Skyrim, so what would these do if they didn't help my skills level faster?

"Ok." Ralof said again, before doing his best to explain it.

It wasn't great.

"Well, you choose one of the stones. The ones here, like you probably already know, are the mage stone, the warrior stone, and the thief stone. When you pick the one you want, you just get… better at it… I mean that like, you just understand its skills better. Do you understand?"

Not in the slightest.

Of course, I knew I probably shouldn't say that because I didn't want to be rude, so I tried to put some more thought into my words.

"Not in the slightest."

Unfortunately, my stupid mouth works faster than my only slightly less stupid brain.

Ralof sighed, before getting Hadvar to try and explain it.

"When you pick a standing stone, it becomes easier to learn the skills associated with it. For example, learning new techniques with different types of weaponry and retaining that knowledge becomes easier if you pick the warrior stone."

"Ok…" I said slowly. That was much easier to understand.

"And this is why I'm a better fighter than you." Ralof said to Hadvar, prompting a raised eyebrow from the legionnaire. "I have the exact same amount of knowledge on these subjects, but while you're wasting time trying to learn fancy words to make it sound more complicated than it is, I'm improving my skills, like a true Nord would!"

"And that's why I'm a more competent leader and team member than you are." Hadvar replied with a smug tone of his own. "While you're busy swinging your axe around, I'm learning how to make people actually _understand_ what I'm trying to tell them, something which is generally quite important in the higher levels of the military. Even your precious Ulfric can do this, so does that mean _he's_ not a true Nord?"

"Whoa whoa guys!" I shouted as I jumped between the two. To be fair, Ralof managed to keep his temper remarkably well until Hadvar mentioned Ulfric not being a true Nord, at which point he had a much harder time keeping the anger off his face. "Now is not the time to fight! Everything was going really, really well between you two, so let's not ruin that now, ok? Leone, help me out here!"

Sighing, Leone walked over, almost as if she had actually decided to help instead of just make things difficult or confuse me.

"You two, we're in the middle of the wilderness, and that dragon might come back. Can we please not waste time fighting each other?"

Well…

I really didn't expect her to actually help me instead of… you know… make everything about this whole situation miserable for me.

"Wow." I said, unable to really stop myself. "I can honestly say I didn't expect you to actually be helpful. Thanks."

She paused for a moment, almost as if she was just as surprised that I was thanking her as I was over her help.

"It's fine." She said simply, before walking down the path which _should_ lead to Riverwood. Of course, it was a little hard to be certain with the whole new geography thing.

Wait, right. I still need to choose a stone.

Umm…

Ahhh…

Fine.

Fuck it.

Warrior for now, maybe come back for mage later.

And suddenly I understood how to fight.

It was only a basic understanding, but that didn't matter too much.

What mattered was that it was _there._

And I'd only ever been in a real fight _once_ in my life!

"Alright. Let's go guys!" I shouted happily.

It looked like Ralof and Hadvar were still a little grumpy at each other, but they were willing to let it go… For now…

But as we walked along, as much as I tried, I couldn't get one specific topic to leave my mind.

What was that that happened to Hadvar before?


	6. House of blades

**Hey guys, I managed to get off my lazy ass and work around the writer's block this story would always bring me, and I think the result was something** ** _slightly_** **less shit than usual. Not that it could be called** ** _good_** **or anything like that, but yeah.**

 **Finally, I've managed to bring in an actual mod for the story instead of just referencing them. The mods** ** _will_** **play a big part in the story, and influence not only how the characters act, but also their backstories, as you'll see here. However, I should mention that the only mods I have for Skyrim are from the steam workshop, because I know for a fact that I'm enough of an idiot to completely fuck up my game if I used anything from the nexus or other sites.**

 **Thank you to all my reviewers, you guys are awesome. Special thanks to Koal, who has been giving me helpful advice that I can promise I will do my best to implement into my story. I might forget some of it, because I'm kind of an idiot, but I'll do my best not to.**

 **In response to 'ayo it's mario', I'll probably post a mod list at some point, and I've already made my Alduin a giant bird monster of some kind, so no trains. Also, Thomas is terrifying. It's the eyes.**

 **In response to 'JarlOfWhiterun', Joseph Moore is not my real name, and I don't really resemble him that much. In essence, he is a superior version of me, which is kind of depressing when I remember that I made him to be the kid who has always been completely average and boring, to the point of getting the nickname 'White Bread'. And yeah, Ralof and Hadvar are gonna be the best friends ever. I'm talking Legolas and Gimli, but without the multiculturalism.**

 **As always, review to feed my ego, and I'll try to make another chapter soon.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Skyrim,** ** _nor_** **have I created any of the mods I've used or will use in the story.**

* * *

 **Chapter 6: House of blades**

The rest of the trip to Riverwood was ok, I guess.

Ralof and Hadvar didn't carry me anymore after the standing stones, which bullshit in my opinion. We had to fight some wolves too, which really sucked, because I actually _like_ wolves. In the real world, they're all cool, and misunderstood, which is why they were chosen to be the spirit animal of the entire hipster subculture.

Here in Skyrim though, they're just assholes who try to eat you all the time!

Of course, this didn't stop me from trying to cut the first ones skin off to make leather out of it.

Nor did it stop me from letting Ralof and Hadvar show me how to do it in a way which _doesn't_ make me look like an enormous fucking idiot.

"Why do you want this again?" Ralof grunted out, as he finished showing me how it actually took a considerably longer amount of time than the few seconds it did in the game.

"So I have a bunch of materials to make stuff with!" I said, trying to use enthusiasm to hide how badly I wanted to throw up at the sight. "If I make stuff with it, not only does it repress the horrible guilt I probably shouldn't be feeling but still do, I also get to learn how to make stuff to stab more things with! Fun times ahead! Excuse me for a moment."

I turned and threw up into a nearby bush.

"Alright. Let's get going!" I said as happily as I could manage.

Half an hour later, I saw a little bit of red poking through the trees.

"Oooh! Wait!" I shouted. "Detour!"

"Oh, for the sake of all which is divine, what is it now?" Leone asked, in a voice which was much louder than was suitable in my opinion.

"Good weapons, good food, and good magic!" I said gleefully as started clambering up the rocks to the little red building.

Oh, god it was just like I remembered.

The Akaviri Samurai House mod.

God bless the modders.

I was chuckling with anticipation as I tried to slid open the door, looking at the comfortable looking open area behind it.

I made it about three seconds before I thought of something.

If this was like a real world right now, what does that mean for all the empty player homes? I mean, it was fine for the stuff like Wyvern Rock castle, where they give an explanation for why it's empty, but what about the small ones like this, which are just empty for completely inexplicable reasons.

"Oh, by oblivion, what are you doing?" Hadvar asked from behind me. His voice sounded horrified for some reason.

"What? What's wrong?" I asked.

"This building is cursed! Nobody who has investigated it has ever come back!"

Oh. That does sound bad.

But then again, I _am_ supposed to be the dragonborn, even if I'm not supposed to know it yet. I'll probably have to face a lot worse than this anyway, so might as well get some practise in.

"You know what, I think we should do it."

Surprisingly, it wasn't even me who said that.

It was Ralof.

"What are you saying Ralof?" Hadvar asked in surprise. "Don't you remember what happened to that patrol when we were young? What happened to… him?"

Him?

There was a pause, before Ralof answered him.

"I do." He said. "But that's why I have to do this. Why _we_ have to do this! If we don't, we'll never be able to move past what happened. And maybe… Just maybe… We'll be able to give whatever did it a little payback."

Throughout this entire conversation, Leone and I remained silent. Leone even looked like she had taken an interest in the argument, although I doubt it could have reached the level of interest that I had taken. I mean, I knew they must have had backstories, but these actually sound _interesting_ , and I had never really expected it from these two.

I mean, they were awesome, but in the end, Ralof and Hadvar were always really the guys who were just _there,_ and never really interacted with except for a few, small parts later in the game.

But here were hints! Hints that there might have been something else, something other than them saving you to add to their awesomeness!

Alright, mental menu screen open!

 **Hadvar and Ralof quest line:**

 **New objective!**

· **Make them awesome friends again!**

· **Figure out why Hadvar turns into a horrible demon monster when he's angry!**

· **Learn about Hadvar and Ralof's apparently awesome backstory!**

I sighed.

I was going to have to buy a journal or something, because I was almost definitely going to forget all that pretty soon.

"Alright, fine. I'll do it." Hadvar said. "But you need to promise me that we're going to leave if things get too bad."

"Fine," Ralof conceded, "but I _will_ come back. I will make sure Aksel is avenged, no matter how many times I have to drag myself back here."

He walked into the building.

I was about to follow him, before realising something that should've tried much earlier.

"Wait a second guys, I need to try something. Save game!" I shouted.

Then I walked a little about two metres forwards.

"Ok. Load game!"

I waited.

Nothing happened.

And I realised that I was doing a _great_ job convincing them that I wasn't crazy like they originally thought, as I stood in place yelling at the ceiling.

Yep… Fucking stellar job…

"What is wrong with you?" Leone asked, in a tone of confusion and, unless I was wrong, slight fear.

"So many things…" I answered, smiling as the little voice in my head tried to kill itself. Unfortunately, the little voice in my head was merely a concept, with no physical form, and so could not accomplish its goal.

Not even generous mental screaming of the phrase 'ORANGE MONKEY EAGLE' worked.

"Alright." I said, trying to act like nothing strange had happened. "Let's start."

As I said this, I walked over to the corner, lifted the trapdoor, and looked in.

And the faces of about eighty identical female ninjas stared right back.

I shut the door, turned around, and looked at the other three.

"You know what? Let's take some time to have a breather, and come back in a few years, sound good?"

Suddenly the trapdoor burst open, and the horde of ninja swarmed out.

"By Talos!" Ralof shouted, as we all pulled out our weapons.

"Oh, just fuck everything!" I cried out, as I joined my friends and ran into the swarm.

As I was fighting though, I noticed something weird. This was actually pretty easy. I was able to swing my shitty imperial sword, and encounter surprisingly little resistance.

And then I realised why this was the case, and felt incredibly fucking stupid for not realising what it was meant to be before.

Unlike when it was just a game, these ones were doing what was meant to happen, and vanishing when we killed them.

Because they were meant to be _shadow clones!_

And then it got a lot easier to fight them.

As soon as I realised that I didn't actually have to kill them like I would with a normal, living thing, and any hit would work, I began to beat them a lot faster.

A swing to the side with my sword, a punch to the other side, a kick ahead of me, we were mowing through them.

However, there were still far too many of them, and I doubt we would have made survived the battle if not for one factor.

Hadvar had apparently entered 'beast mode' again.

 **"KIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHH!"**

I almost felt bad for the poor shadow clones. He was tearing them apart.

Literally.

"No!" a voice shouted, and I turned to see…

A Dunmer in necromancer robes.

Way to break the stereotype, asshat.

"Oh, come on!" I heard Ralof shout, apparently following a similar thought process.

"You bastards," the walking cliché shouted at us, as he began to charge a spell, "I won't let you destroy my easy life here! I'll kill you a-"

He was cut off, literally, when Leone swung her greatsword, cutting right through his right arm.

"Stop monologuing."

"A-" he started, as he stared at the bloody stump, "AAAAAAHH-"

Before he could properly start screaming though, he was cut off for a second time, as a terrifying, black hand closed over his face.

 **"YOU… YOU TOOK AKSEL! YOU TOOK HIM!"**

And then Hadvar crushed the necromancers head in his hands.

"Oh god!" I shouted.

I knew it was going to happen, but I still couldn't help but feel kind of sick whenever I saw people get killed. Hell, it was bad enough when Lokir was killed, and he was just shot with a few arrows.

This guy's _head exploded_.

As I looked around, trying to look away from what had happened, I saw the faces of my companions.

Neither Ralof nor Leone had reacted any differently to normal.

And it suddenly struck me that there wasn't any reason to do so.

To these two, this was normal. This world where people could be killed so easily, where right and wrong were dictated by whoever was strongest, was the world they had always grown up in.

It was fucking depressing, and I decided I wanted to change it.

"Alright!" I shouted, perhaps a bit too loudly, as I started to go through the cabinets. "SWORDSKATANASBOWSSHADOWCLONESRAINBOWRABBITSFUNSTUFF **DISTRACTIONS!** "

"Stop it."

I turned to see who said it, even though I already knew who it was.

Leone stared right back at me, a stern expression on her face.

"You can't keep trying to escape death. If you keep trying to distract yourself whenever someone dies, if you can't keep your attention on killing your enemy when you're in a fight, you will die. Skyrim is full of death. _Built on death_. You need to accept that, otherwise you will never survive, and you will leave anyone who cares about you behind."

Her words shook me, particularly the last part. Could I really tell her _why_ that part struck me so hard?

And before I could stop myself, I did it anyway.

"It's a bit too late for that."

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Nothing." I said, mentally berating myself for my slipup. "Let's keep searching."

I walked into the bedroom, ignoring the silent figures who continued to watch me. Thankfully, Hadvar seemed to have calmed down and reverted back to normal, so I didn't have to worry so much about him trying to attack me as I passed him.

As I looked through the draws and cupboards, I could faintly hear a mumbled conversation between Leone and Ralof. I didn't try to listen in on what they were saying. I was pretty sure I didn't want to hear it anyway.

"Ah, here we are." I said to myself, as I lifted up a pile of spell books from one of the draws at the end of the left bed.

I walked back out into the main area, intent on forgetting what happened for a little while.

"Do any of you guys have a bag or something?" I asked.

"No," Hadvar answered, his voice still a little gruff from the transformation, "but I think that bastard was wearing one."

"Don't worry," Ralof said, as he pulled the backpack out from under the corpse, "I'll get it."

He passed it over to me.

"Thanks Ralof." I said, thankful that I didn't have to touch the body, as I grabbed it and began putting the books in.

After I was done, I looked up to see that Ralof was staring at Leone, and she was staring back at him with an irritated expression. Every now and then, Ralof would tilt his head in my direction.

"No." She said.

He repeated the actions for about a half a minute, as Hadvar and I stared in confusion.

"I'm not doing it." She repeated.

"Fine." Ralof said in a sing-song voice as he walked towards the ladder. "But you know I'm right…"

"What was that all about?" I asked Leone once he had climbed out.

"It was nothing." She said, before she also left.

"Wait, guys!" I shouted at them. "You're forgetting the weapons!"

Sighing, I turned around to see Hadvar, who was admiring the katanas around the room.

"Incredible, so these are Akaviri weapons…"

"Yeah, are you a fan of katanas?" I asked. It would be nice to meet someone else who shared my interest, regardless of how 'impractical' they were meant to be.

"I grew up hearing stories about the Blades," he answered wistfully, "and how they would use these swords to protect the empire."

"Huh." I said. Fair enough.

There was a bit of an awkward silence.

"Aksel was my cousin." Hadvar said suddenly. "He was four years older than us, and he used to play with us when we were kids. Between him, me, Ralof, Lod, and Gerdur, he was always the one we chose to be the leader. When we were twelve, he joined as a guard at castle Gonduin, which was still an imperial castle back then. He always said he wanted to join the Blades, and by all the divines blessings I honestly believed he would."

He was beginning to tear up at this point, and while I generally feel extremely awkward in situations like this and try to avoid them, I honestly couldn't help but feel bad for the guy.

"Then, people started disappearing around this house, and they sent a company of guards to investigate. Aksel was one of them. They left to investigate that night, and their screams could be heard from the town."

HOLY SHIT.

THAT WAS FUCKED UP.

Quick Joey, think of something to say, preferably something that won't make you seem like an insensitive prick!

"Don't worry, he should be able to rest easily now that we've gotten the prick that did it."

Hey, what do you know, that actually sounded right! Nice job Joseph!

"Prick?" Hadvar asked in confusion.

"Cultural phrase, don't worry about it."

"Well," he said, as he wiped the tears from his face, "I suppose I understand generally what you mean. And you're right. Thank you for assisting Ralof and I."

"It's fine, bud…" I said, patting him on the shoulder. "It's fine… Now let's get out of here."

"Agreed." Hadvar said, as he waited for me to climb up the ladder.

We emerged to see Ralof and Leone standing on the porch area of the building. When they heard the trapdoor open, they both turned to look at me. However, it was only when Hadvar came out that I realised what must have happened.

"Hadvar," Leone started, "Ralof just told me… I'm so sorry."

"It's fine." Hadvar replied. "I'm thankful for your concern, but it's been fourteen years. We've all come to terms with what happened. Regardless, thank you for assisting us in the battle."

"I was happy to help." She said.

"Well," I said, "we should probably head to Riverwood now, before we get distracted again. I'm looking at you, Leone."

"Seriously?" She asked, her eye subtly beginning to twitch.

"Yeah." I answered, ignoring the amused looks we were getting from Ralof. "I was the one who suggested we look at the samurai house because I wanted cool katanas and stuff, and Hadvar and Ralof had… personal… reasons to get involved. I just thought you might have felt left out, seeing as you didn't have any real motivation to go to the house, and might have wanted to have your own adventure. That's an understandable thought process, right Hadvar?"

"Please don't involve me in this." Hadvar answered, trying his best to ignore me and keep walking.

"You know what?" Leone asked. "I don't even care anymore. Let's just get to Riverwood."

"Exactly!" I said happily. "So you do agree with me!"

I won't say too much about how she reacted to that, but just know that if she hadn't kept the sheath on her sword, I would have died in about thirty-six different ways, laying the foundation for a horrible, horrible friendship.


	7. The first night

**Hey guys. It's me again. I don't really know what I should say right now, except for a few things.**

 **The first one is probably sorry. I kind of just... stopped writing for a while for no real reason. Well, there was a reason, but it was just that I couldn't figure out how I should go about writing a lot of it, and in the end the result is this steaming pile of literary feces. Needless to say, I'm not to sure of whether this chapter is even that good, because it felt too angsty.**

 **So yeah. Enjoy! Or at least, try to enjoy.**

 **Also, please review so I can use the comments to slowly convince people that fanfiction IS cool** ** _Dad!_**

* * *

 **Chapter 7: The first night**

"Alright… Let me just get this straight…" I said again, trying to understand what the blacksmith was saying. "So you definitely _did_ hear the whole story I just told you?"

"That's correct." Alvor replied in a matter-of-fact tone.

"And you definitely understood that I wasn't using the word _dragon_ in some kind of metaphorical way," I continued slowly, "I mean an actual, live, bringer-of-the-end-times style _DRAGON…"_

"Yes." He answered. "I will admit, I'm still rather shocked by that, but at least it means that I wasn't crazy when _I_ saw it…"

"And yet out of all of that, the bit that surprised you most of all was that Hadvar and Ralof were friends again?!"

"More just slightly uneasy allies!" Hadvar chimed in from lower story of the blacksmiths house.

"NOTIMPORTANTRIGHTNOWHADVAR!" I shouted back.

"Well," Alvor said, bringing my attention back to the source of my confused, half thought out frustration, "If you'd been there when they fell out with each other, you'd probably understand."

"Yeah, I'm sure it sucked," I cut him off, "but still, what kind of weird, stupid thought process do you have to have to make too former friends coming back together more surprising than a mythical flying monster?!"

"Says the _daedric prince_ of stupid thought processes."

"Oh, shut the hell up Leone." I snapped, turning my glare to the girl sitting across the table from me.

"I'm afraid you don't seem to understand." Alvor said. "Some of the things they said… Some of the things _he_ said…" He emphasized, pointing at Ralof, who had collapsed into one of the beds as soon as we got to the house. "They honestly make it difficult for me to let him stay in my house."

I paused for a second, as I tried to figure out what I should say next. Things were getting fairly serious, and I hate seriousness. When things get serious, they get awkward.

"Was it really that bad?"

"Well, they brought up…" He faltered, his voice failing him for a few moments. "They brought up my son a lot."

Son?

What was he talking about? Since when did Alvor ever have a so-

 _"Aksel was my cousin."_

Oh.

Right.

Shit.

How the hell did I forget that so quickly?

"Ok…" I said slowly. "I suppose I can see why you may be surprised by all this now, and also why you would have trouble around Ralof, but you know he's not really a bad person right?"

He sighed, looked at the subject of our conversation, who was sleeping soundly, and looked back to us again.

"Yes, I know." He finally said. "It's just difficult to bear, when you overhear a man using your dead child as a way to argue a specific point."

Oh god. This was taking a turn down a path I really would have rather avoided.

"It was his choice to avenge Aksel."

Oh, a short, yet admittedly powerful, interjection at a dramatic moment of the conversation. As this was becoming increasingly common, I already knew it was Leone before my brain even registered the voice as being a female one. Honestly, it was becoming _way_ too common for my liking. _I_ was meant to be the one interrupting conversations with short but powerful lines!

"When Hadvar wanted to avoid the Akaviri house, Ralof was the one who continued to push him, and both of us along with him, to fight and avenge your son."

But _god damn,_ was she good at it…

"I know." Alvor answered. "Hadvar told me when you arrived here."

He looked down at the table, and his hand tightened around the handle of the cup-thingy that held his drink.

"I don't know if I'll ever truly be able to forgive him for the things he said, or how he tried to use my sons memory, but the fact remains that if it weren't for him, the bastard who killed him would still be alive today, and I doubt I can ever fully express just how grateful I am for that. And you too, young man."

I looked up, surprised and honestly rather shocked. I never expected the guy to thank _me._

"Oh!" I said. "I mean, I'm happy that you're grateful, but I don't deserve any thanks or anything like that… What I did… It was purely for my own selfish reasons…"

"Even so," Alvor continued, "if it weren't for you, they never would have even stopped there long enough for Ralof to make his decision. And you stuck by them and fought beside them, despite apparently having no combat experience before this morning, isn't that right?"

"Well, yeah… Bu-"

"Then stop trying to deny it!" He said, a smile growing on his face. "You're a nice boy, no matter how much you try to convince people otherwise."

Oooh boy. We are now firmly in the territory I want to avoid. Quickly Joseph, abort! ABORT!

"Umm." I begin, rubbing the back of my neck as I started to get up. "Thank you. I suppose you might have a point. I need to get some fresh air, so I'm just going outside for a bit."

"Alright, but be careful." The aging Nord said, a hint of concern in his voice.

As I walked out, I faintly noticed that someone, who will remain unnamed for privacy, was apparently not as asleep as he seemed, if the subtle shaking of his shoulders and hitching of his breath was any indicator.

I suppose it would mean a lot to him, being forgiven for something which he almost definitely realised would have really hurt Alvor.

Once I closed the door, I just slumped against it, sliding down to the ground.

Geez. Why couldn't I just learn to take a compliment?

 _You know why. Everything you do is for your own gain. It has to be, because you can't take credit for what you did._

"Oh Christ. Not this shit again." I mumbled under my breath. "Will you just leave me alone?"

 _I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that._

"Wha-? Who the fuck is Dave?!" I shouted, startling an old woman who I'm pretty sure was Sven's mother.

 _Wai- No. It's a reference._

"A reference?" I asked skeptically.

 _Yeah, you know? To 2001: A Space Odyssey?_

"Oh, you mean that movie I never saw? Yeah, you're right! How the hell could I forget a line from something I've never seen?!"

"Oh, by the Divines! Why are you always shouting?!"

I turned to see Leone walking out the door, her expression showing how pissed she was.

"Sorry." I said sheepishly. "Stupid voice in my head won't shut up."

There was a pause, as she stared at me just long enough for me to realize what I just said.

"Weren't you trying to convince us that you _weren't_ insane?"

"Yeah," I said, "I think I'm just gonna give up on that for a little while. But let's put my possibly dangerous insanity aside for a moment and start on a completely different, and ask what you're doing out here."

"I'm confused." She answered.

"What? Why?" I asked her, despite already having a pretty bad feeling about where it was going.

"Where did all that "I don't deserve your gratitude" stuff come from?" Leone continued. "Before you always seemed confident, and honestly fairly arrogant. What could possibly cause you to not want to take credit like you did befo-"

"Because it'd mean I helped kill that guy!" I shouted, unable to keep it in anymore.

There was another pause, as I forced myself to stare at the ground. The silence was broken by Leone, her voice sounding as if she was literally trembling in silent anger.

"Are you telling me… that you feel _bad_ for killing that dark elf?"

When I didn't answer, she grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and pushed me against the wall of the house.

 _"ARE YOU ACTUALLY TELLING ME YOU ACTUALLY FEEL BAD FOR KILLING THAT BASTARD?!"_

With every word, she pushed me into the wall even harder.

"ARE YOU SAYING THAT IN A WORLD LIKE OURS, WHERE PEOPLE ARE KILLED EVERY DAY, THAT YOU REGRET HELPING TO KILL ONE OF THE FEW PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY DESERVED IT?!"

"A WORLD LIKE YOURS!" I shouted at her, as all my frustration began to flow out. "I have no way of saying this in a way that you'll believe, but you and I are from very different places! Where I come from, people aren't killed every day! They don't have to fight to survive! It's a world where you don't have to be able to kill others if you want to survive another day!"

Using all my strength, I pushed her back away from me, and sent her the worst glare I could muster.

"So you'll just have to forgive me if I'm having just a teensy bit of trouble getting used to it."

And I walked over to the Sleeping Giant Inn, hoping to god that there would be a room available.

 _Wow._

"Shut up."

 _I mean, I know we've been having a bit of trouble with the whole "I just killed a guy" thing, and she_ was _being kind of shitty, but you could have explained what was wrong with a bit of a… calmer attitude._

"No." I answered bluntly. "You said it yourself, she was being shitty."

 _But only because she legitimately has no idea about where you're coming from. Or at least, she didn't before you shouted it at her…_

"While I acknowledge your opinion," I began, "I really don't want to talk to anyone right now. That includes annoying, disembodied voices in my head _and_ annoying women who appear out of nowhere and lecture me for not wanting to kill people."

 _Ok, but you should still apologize to her. She's shown that she's pretty skilled in combat, and you might need her help later on._

I sighed.

"Fine… But I'm doing it tomorrow. I really just can't deal with anyone right now. So _please,_ just leave me alone."

 _Alright. But remember, just because I might say some harsh things sometimes, I'm not the asshole you treat me like. Also remember that I'm always right, no matter what you might think. Goodnight, dumbass..._

And my head was clear again.

And I _still_ felt like shit.

"As I walked through the small town, I was reminded of another, even more annoying trait to the world. While some settlements like Helgen were the same as they were in the game, many of the others, like Riverwood, were actually a fair size bigger, with far more buildings and inhabitants I'd never encountered before. Which meant I would have to figure out the layouts to most areas _all over again!_

This caused a lot of trouble when I had to find places like, to name one example, the Sleeping Giant Inn.

I searched for about ten minutes before I found the fucking place.

This might not seem like much, until you remember it's in _fucking Riverwood._

By the time I found the damn building, I was in an even worse mood than I had been before.

It certainly didn't help when I opened the door, only to be assaulted by the same, grumpy voice which I just _knew_ would come back to make me feel shitty in the not super distant future.

"Orgnar. Orgnar! Are you listening?"

"Hard not to." Came the… honestly kind of depressing sounding reply.

"The ale is going bad. We need to get a new batch. Did you hear me?" Delphine asked, with a questioning look on her face.

"Yep." Orgnar answered, his voice not changing tone even slightly. "Ale's going bad."

"I guess you don't have potatoes in your ears after all. Just make sure we get a fresh batch soon."

The memories that resurfaced with her voice were almost enough to make me turn around and leave.

Actually, apparently more than enough, as I felt myself start turning around to leave.

Unfortunately, she noticed me before I could actually escape, and my horrible social awkwardness would have made me feel bad if I left now.

"We don't get many travellers here in Riverwood, you need anything?"

"IDON'TWANTTOKILLPARTHURNAX!"

There was a pause.

"What?" Delphine asked me, with a suspicious expression on her face.

Shit. Shit. Shit. I just blurted it out when I heard her voice. And now she knows. Or at least, she suspects. This is bad. This is really bad. Why do I keep blurting all this shit out? I really need to work on restraining myself.

 _God damn… I leave you alone for five minutes and_ that's _the result?_

"Oh, just shut the fuck up and leave me alone!" I snapped under my breath.

 _Nope. No way in hell. If you're gonna keep reacting to everything like this, I'm_ never _leaving._

"Fuck."

I looked up again, only to see that both Delphine and Orgnar had their hands near their belts, no doubt in preparation for whatever the clearly insane man in their inn was planning to do next.

"Could I just get a room please?" I sighed. "And also some meat of some kind? And water, if you have a free water skin?"

"Sure…" Delphine said, obviously still quite wary of me. "Orgnar, get some beef and a full water skin."

"Ok." Orgnar said, his sullen tone sounding slightly more cautious.

"I'll show you to your room. Follow me."

I still don't see why she felt she had to do that, seeing as regardless of the towns larger size, the inn was exactly the same, meaning that 'showing me to my room' actually just meant walking a few steps and pointing at one of the doorways.

Doorways that had no actual doors in them, I might add, because fuck privacy.

"You can use that room. Ten septims a night."

"Thanks." I said, before going to get my food and water skin from Orgnar.

As I passed her again, I paused, and turned to face her.

"Hey, I don't suppose you'd be willing to forget what happened when I came in, would you?"

"No." She said bluntly.

I sighed again, and realised that I'd probably been doing that a bit too much recently.

"Yeah, I suppose that's what I expected..." I sighed. "You always were like that."

She looked even more surprised than before, and this time I couldn't quite figure out why.

 _Are you fucking serious?_

"What?" I whispered under my breath.

 _"You always were like that?"_

Oh.

Fuck.

"SORRYIMEANYOUJUSTRMINDEDMEOFSOMEONEIKNOWWHOACTSLIKEYOUHAHAHAHAHA!"

And I tried to slam the door in her face, before remembering that there weren't any doors in this fucking inn.

Of course, it took me a few tries of reaching around for the non-existent door before I remembered this, and just walked over to sit on my bed.

"G-… Goodnight!" I called awkwardly, before starting on my roast beef, thanking every deity in this place that they at least gave you plates and cutlery with food in this place.

It was _really_ tough, and not exactly flavourful either, and if not for the fact that I hadn't eaten all day, I don't think I would have been able to eat it.

That night, I cried myself to sleep.

Not because I had just been torn away from everyone I had ever known and loved and had no idea how to get back.

Not because I'd spent most of the day alienating the few people I'd actually met.

I cried myself to sleep because the only meal I'd been able to really eat today couldn't even be a nice one…


	8. The first dungeon

**Hey guys, it's me again. Had a little bit of trouble with parts of this chapter, and there were some things I couldn't quite remember from the game so they might not be completely right. Thanks for all your reviews and favourites and stuff, it really helps me not feel like faeces when I'm writing.**

 **Please leave reviews so I can show them to people so they know that yes, people do actually read my stuff, and sometimes they even like it! Also, if you can leave reviews that have more than one or two words and actually let me know if I'm doing something right or not, that would be preferable. Just look at Koal's reviews, they're always helpful!**

* * *

 **Chapter 8: The first dungeon**

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was that my bed was far more uncomfortable than usual, and there was a piece of… _something_ poking me in the back.

And my pillow felt wet.

Why did my pillow feel wet again?

I opened my eyes slightly, and thankfully, there was only a very small amount of time between the realisation that I was no longer in my room, and was instead in some strange wooden building, and remembering _why_ I was in some kind of strange wooden building.

I was still in Skyrim.

I reached behind my back, and pulled the thing that was sticking into my back out from under me.

It was the _fucking knife_.

I could've accidentally stabbed myself in my sleep.

Jesus Christ.

"Well. Looks like someone had a fun night, huh?"

Hearing that voice, I turned my head to stare at the dreaded she-bitch, who was sitting on the chair in the room and cleaning what looked to be a new steel greatsword.

"Why are you in my room Leone?"

"It's already past noon, and Alvor sent me to get you."

Oh.

"I heard you said some pretty weird things last night to the innkeeper. Something about not wanting to kill someone."

"Yeah, well…" I started, trying to redirect it to something more sensible. "You saw what I was like about that guy last night."

"True, but I don't think that's what it was about…" She said slowly, as she began to walk closer with a scary look in her eyes. "And you know why else I don't believe you? She mentioned a name I'd heard before in some pretty old legends… Parthurnax. So tell me, just how elaborate are these dreams you've been having?"

"They're pretty elaborate…" I said. I figured that if I just went along with everything, she might be a little less suspicious, and slowly came up with a marvellous idea.

"In fact, there's something we should probably get out of the way right now." I said, hoping to get her mind off the fact that I'd just mentioned an ancient being from some of the oldest legends from their civilisation. "When we go to Whiterun, the jarl will take us to his court wizard, who'll send us right back here to get a stone tablet from Bleak Falls Barrow. Unfortunately, right after we get it back to him, a dragon attacks one of the watchtowers outside the city. I'm unsure how that will work here, because it never happens in the dreams until we get the stone back to him, regardless of whether I come back to Riverwood or just do it on the way."

I stopped to breath. This was taking too long to explain, so I figured I should just sum it up with the next part.

"Essentially, my guess is that either we'll get there early, and have time to prepare for the attack, or we'll get there right on time, preventing the dragon from attacking while we're raiding the burrow. Is there anything you'd need extra clarification with?"

"Yes." Leone answered, surprising me, as I thought I'd managed to explain it fairly well. "When did your thought process get so… intelligent?"

Oh wow. I think that might have actually been a complement! Maybe Leone wasn't such a monster after all.

 _I'm pretty sure the fact that she feels the need to ask_ when _it happened makes that a pretty obvious insult._

I ignored the voice in my head and answered the question.

"Well, this is actually a serious matter, and one that I actually have a relatively in depth understanding of." I explained. "Now, we should go and get Hadvar and Ralof. They should be able to help us out, and we might help them get over their fears of the place too!"

"Well… About them…"

"What?"

"God damn it you two…" I muttered, as Leone and I stood in Alvors house staring at the two.

"He insulted Jarl Ulfric!" Ralof shouted, sounding surprisingly like a small child shouting that the other kid started it.

"Only because he insulted General Tullius!" Hadvar shouted in reply, completely matching Ralofs tone.

"Oh my god." I sighed, my face in both of my palms as I tried to comprehend how grown men, _soldiers_ , were sitting across the room from each other, looking and acting even more immature than I do.

Even Leone looked disappointed.

Wait, no. She always looked disappointed. Maybe it was only surprising because she wasn't looking disappointed in _me._

"You know what?" I asked no one in particular. "No. We're not letting it stay like this. Get up guys, we're turning this into a team-building exercise as well."

"What are you talking about?" Hadvar asked, apparently actually _struggling_ to stop glaring at his old friend.

"Well, we're going to delve into an ancient ruin and collect an ancient stone tablet which is required to help defend all of Tamriel from the dragons in the coming war." I paused slightly, before deciding that I really should explain the other reason. "We're also going to get Lucan Valerius's golden claw back, because some dumb thief took it because it's the key to the barrows 'treasure room'… Now, any questions?"

"Yes." Ralof said, beating out Hadvar who was also in the process of raising his hand. "Is this Bleak Falls Barrow we're talking about and, if it is, is there any way to avoid this and still save the world?"

"Yes to the first one, no to the second one. Next question."

"Why did you do that thing with your hands when you said treasure room, and what was its significance." Hadvar asked.

"Ah, excellent question Hadvar!" I said, remembering that air quotes probably didn't exist in Tamriel, or at least Skyrim. "Those are called 'air quotes', and it means that I don't really believe what I'm saying, and want to make it obvious to everyone around me. I used them there because the treasure room is, at least to you guys, largely useless, as all it contains is a dragon wordwall, a small treasure chest with the dragonstone in it, and a sarcophagus with a comparatively more dangerous draugr in it. Anything else?"

"Yes, I-"

"Too bad!" I shouted as I walked over and tried to lift him out of the chair, only succeeding in pushing him out of the chair. "You'll have to ask me on the way, because it's possible that time will be kind of tight right now. Now let's go. Onwards, for glory, honour, and money!"

"Wait!" Leone said suddenly. "Are you still using that iron sword you got in Helgen?"

"Hmm?" I asked, before realising she was right. "Oh, shit! You're right! I can't keep using this! Come minions, let's find Alvor!"

"I'm right here…" came a grumble from the bed next to me. "By the divines, why are you always shouting?"

"Oh look, that's two people now." Leone said casually, ignoring the glare I sent her.

"You know what?" I asked. "Sometimes people just need to stop talking. You know what I mean, Leone?"

"I understand completely." She said smugly. "Of course, some people also need to realise that the things they say apply to them as well, isn't that right Joseph?"

We proceeded to glare at each other, and I was beginning to prepare a real ripper of a comeback when Ralof interrupted us.

"Hey, good job fighting the urge you two." Ralof said, confusing the two of us.

"Yeah, but maybe wait until you're _actually_ married before having the spats, alright?" Hadvar said, and they grinned at each other like idiots.

Apparently teasing other people makes any disagreement vanish in the wind.

In fact, it actually looked like they were about to high-five each other, a gesture I didn't even think existed in Tamriel, until a steel greatsword flew straight through the space between their hands and imbedded itself into the wall.

The _stone_ part of the wall.

Deciding that this conversation was taking some of us dangerously close to painting the house, and possibly certain areas in close proximity to the house red, I turned back to Alvor, who had been looking on with a mixture of nervousness and amusement.

"So, Alvor, what kinds of one-handed swords do you have?"

"Ah, only steel at the moment." He said, realising what I was trying to do. "I'm looking over some of the Akaviri style swords you brought here, so I might have some of them the next time you pass by, although the best cloth I've seen for the hilts might be a bit difficult to acquire, due to that specific material only being found in ancient ruins."

"Ok, well I'll take a steel sword," I said, giving him some money for the sword, "and as I'm sure you were hoping, I'll bring back some of that cloth from Bleak Falls."

"Sure, just take the one on the table by the forge. I'll pay you for each roll of cloth you bring back."

 _Oh nice! New side quest!_

Oh god.

 _Just gonna say it right now, before everyone starts thinking you're crazy again. When you're talking to me, KEEP IT IN YOUR HEAD. I can hear your thoughts, they cannot. Therefore, you can keep it so the only person who has heard you actually being crazy is Leone. Understand?_

"Yeah, I understand."

"What did you say?" Leone asked, idly reminding me that she was still in a horrific blood rage. It wasn't so bad after Hadvar though, so I felt like I could handle it, but it was still fairly concerning that the sword she had thrown was imbedded in the stone down to the _fucking hilt._

"Nothing." I answered. "Just talking to myself."

She gave a slow look of understanding, before apparently catching her rage and forcing it down.

"Anyway," she said, looking like she'd been forced to take some kind of disgusting medicine, "you could not be more wrong about the way I see that disgusting pile of excrement over there."

"Hey." I said, and was completely ignored.

"Unfortunately though," she continued, "if what he's saying is true, and I doubt he even knows _how_ to lie effectively so I'm assuming it is, then we need to hurry, because the futures of everyone in Tamriel could depend on us getting this stone. Now are you ready?"

Nobody said anything.

"I said, **_ARE YOU READY?_** " She said, apparently perfecting the scary aura right at that moment.

"Yes…" Ralof and Hadvar said together, with very obvious sadness in their tones.

"Alright then." She said, as she walked over and pulled her sword out of the wall.

She only used one hand.

My mind devolved back into the 'OhdearchristwhatkindofpersonhaveIgotteninvolvedwith?' train of thought that had become quite common since my arrival in Skyrim.

"Are you ready?" I heard Leone ask me.

"Yep." I said, trying to sound like I hadn't just been wondering whether she would try to kill me if I stayed around her. "Let's go get ourselves killed. For money and stuff!"

And that brought me to my current predicament, as I stood there, shivering in the snow, and watched my three companions brutalise a few bandits on the steps of the barrow. As we had agreed before, albeit reluctantly on Leone's part, I was going to stay back for the time being, and see if I could get use to the whole 'killing living people' thing if I just watched for a while.

I wasn't entirely sure whether I should be glad it was working or not.

But regardless of how I felt about it, seeing someone get decapitated didn't leave me feeling as empty as it had before, and in a world where decapitation occurred on a daily basis, this could only be a good thing.

"Are you ready to stop being a whiny brat yet?" Leone shouted to me from one of the small leap-of-faith things, where she had just disarmed a bowman.

I mean that literally by the way, as in she had cut off the arm he had been holding the bow in.

"It depends, are _you_ ready to stop being an enormous bitch?!" I shrieked back at her.

Ok, maybe I wasn't handling it as well as I thought, but I think the circumstances were understandable.

"Alright, let's get inside." Hadvar shouted.

"Good idea!" I heartily agreed, thankful for literally _any_ other option than standing out here in the cold.

"So Joseph, are there any in the main room?" Leone asked, sounding a little more serious than she did before.

"Yeah, thre-, no wait, two of them." I said, getting confused for a moment. "I mean, there _might_ still be three of them, but usually the third one's dead already. I think he was killed by skeevers or something."

"What?" she asked, with a sound that sounded like it might have actually been a _laugh._ "How do you get killed by skeevers?!"

"Yeah, I don't know." I answered with a shrug. "They seem pretty easy even for me… But anyway, while I would love to keep laughing at that one dead guy's expense, it's really fucking cold out here and I want to get inside."

"I agree." Ralof chimed in. "The chainmail in my armour could react badly if we spend too much time out here."

Agreeing that that was definitely a bad thing, the four of us walked over and opened the doors as silently as we could.

Which was not silently at all, as it was made of solid rock and heavy as shit.

The two bandits, who would usually remain oblivious to this in the game, turned around to look at us literally as soon as we opened it.

And so started our rampage through the halls of Bleak Falls Barrow.

"Who in Oblivion are you lot?!" The annoying maybe-a-dark-elf-but-I-couldn't-tell-in-the-dark asked in a panic. He was still tangled in the giant spider's web, so I suppose it was understandable.

Of course, I'd already warned everyone about the spider, and the fact that he was going to try and run after we freed him.

So naturally, Leone ran straight into the room, stopped under the hole the spider dropped from, and flung her greatsword directly upwards, before running to the side again.

There was a screech, and the spiders corpse dropped from the hole, Leones sword sticking directly through the centre of the weird middle bit.

It was at this point where I began to question whether Leone or Hadvar was more dangerous.

This question was answered when the spider started trying to move again, and Leone pulled out her sword, cut off one of its legs, and jammed the leg through its face.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I cried a little bit at that moment, as it was simultaneously the most horrifying thing I'd ever seen, and the most perfect way to destroy a giant hellish version of something I fear on that level.

It barely took a second for her to cut the thief down from the web.

Instead of taunting us like he usually does though, he just ran as fast as he could in the other direction, which I supposed was fair considering what he'd just seen.

"Don't worry about going after him." I said, as I stopped the others from running after the poor jerk. "He's either going to be taken out by the draugr further in, or he'll make it to the end and get killed by the super draugr in the treasure room. Poor bastard. Actually, do you guys want to help him?"

"No." Hadvar said almost instantly. "From what you've told us, he sounds like a… what did you say? Prick?"

"Heh, yeah." I laughed slightly as I hear how weirdly Hadvar said the word, helping to get my attention of the fact that I was letting someone run to their death. "He totally is a prick. I still feel kind of bad for him though."

"Well maybe if he's still alive when we reach him, we'll help him." Ralof offered.

"Yeah, ok. Thanks Ralof." I said, and we continued onwards.

From the number of draugr corpses laying around the dungeon, he apparently went pretty well. We still found his corpse, but he was only a little ways away from the end. Naturally, we looted the hell out of his corpse, because not doing so would be a huge wasted opportunity, solved the 'puzzle' that was the treasure room door, and entered the giant cavern.

"By Talos, what is that?!" Ralof shouted, and I looked in the direction he was pointing, only to gasp in shock.

There was a gap in the floor.

Not like an actual hole in the ground though, this was the kind of gap in the world that you see in the game.

In fact, I'm pretty sure this gap actually was in my game… Yeah, that's right, Faendal fell through this gap once with all my stuff, and I never saw any of it again! And I never saw Faendal again either, which I guess was also kind of sad too.

"That would be a hole in the world." I said matter-of-factly, as the others all stared in horror. "Let's just avoid that if we can, yeah?"

I calmly stepped over it, and was happy to notice that it didn't somehow suck me into it or anything, and Faendal was just stupid to fall in it.

Seriously, it was only like ten centimetres wide!

As the others clambered around the walls, trying to keep away from the gap by whatever means necessary, I walked up to the treasure chest and took everything in it.

I idly thought to myself that I should try making some of the bandoliers and stuff from that one mod, before walking over to the word wall and waiting.

Nothing happened.

"Hey, where's that chanting coming from?" I heard from behind me, and my mind went blank.

No.

"Wha-?! What's happening?!"

A stream of blueish misty type stuff whooshed past my face.

NO.

I turned around, and joined the other two, as we stared at the legendary dragonborn, who would be tasked with saving all of Skyrim.

Leone Vallius.


	9. The Road Ahead

**Hey guys, here's a new chapter! I wanted to have it out** ** _much_** **earlier, and I had it almost ready too, but I think I might have accidentally knocked the computers battery loose when it was in my bag. As a result, I lost all of this chapter, and part of chapter 8 too. I'm not sure whether this chapter is better or worse, but here's hoping!**

 **Anyway, I would just like to address something that I've noticed about my commenters.**

 **Which is that you're all awesome as hell.**

 **Seriously, I did not expect any of this when I first posted Kicking the Storm! Not only have you actually been reading this story, which is crazy in itself seeing as I completely expected it to be buried amongst all the other Skyrim stories, you actually** ** _liked_** **it, and said so many nice things that I'm not sure I can even take it all! Special thanks to Koal/DragonKoal, who I'm pretty sure might be the same person, who has been commenting with helpful ideas since nearly the very beginning! You're awesome!**

 **Also, to RamenKnight, you'll have to remind me what crackfic actually is, because I've completely forgotten.**

 **So don't forget kind readers, above all else, your reviews are what sustain my existence, and a lack of reviews would cause me to** ** _literally_** **fade away into nothingness.**

 **Oh, and before I forget, I've been having trouble with the use of those dumb lines to separate things on word and stuff, so if you see anywhere you think one should or should not be, I probably thought the same thing, and my computer just decided to screw me over.**

 **I've forgotten what I was talking about before, and I'm too lazy to scroll back up now, so yeah, disclaimer time.**

 **I don't own anything Bethesda has made. I wish I did, but I'm just a condensed cloud of people's opinions with next to no physical presence, and thus is not well suited to the handling of money.**

 **Chapter 9: The road ahead**

"FUCKING DAMN IT!" I shouted as I ran and tackled the draugr before it could fully climb out of its sarcophagus.

We landed on the ground below the platform, and wrestled around on the ground for a moment before it managed to kick me off it.

I rolled about a metre, but managed to roll onto my feet and regain my balance, before charging at the piece of shit.

 _Hey, hey, calm down a lit-_

"NO!" I shouted, ignoring the fact that I didn't actually need to _say_ it. I drew my iron sword in my left hand, my steel sword in my right, and brought them down in an overhead strike.

"IT" It blocked my swords with its battle axe.

"WAS" It swung back, attacking from the right, and I barely managed to duck under it.

"MEANT" I brought my iron sword around and swung it into the unprotected left side.

"TO" It barely flinched, but it was just enough time to let me give it a vicious kick to the knee.

"BE" It swung back to the left, and while I didn't manage to dodge it fully, I was at least able to get close enough for it to only hit me with the haft instead of the head, knocking me to the side instead of killing me.

 _"ME!"_

This time the draugr was the one to close the distance between us, and I wasn't able to dodge away from its next swing properly, getting a decent cut to the upper part of my left arm.

I didn't even care though.

I was too far gone.

The shouts were literally one of the _only_ possible ways that I would be able to survive against the super powerful assholes in this place.

And there were a _whole fucking lot_ of super powerful assholes in this place…

Like… at least _three!_

I suddenly realised that I was beginning to lose focus when I had to dodge away from another swing. I had to end this, and fast.

I swung both swords into the draugrs ribs from either side, figuring that it would only be able to block one. It worked, and it blocked my steel sword, allowing the iron sword to imbed itself in its side.

In response, it let one hand off its axe and backhanded me with a surprising amount of strength, knocking me back from the creature and causing me to lose hold of the iron sword, which remained stuck between its ribs. It walked up to me and rose its axe above it, and my blind rage bled away as I realised that I was going to die.

Oh god, I was actually going to die…

"JOSEPH!" A voice shouted, and an arrow flew into the draugrs neck, forcing it to stumble back from the impact. I turned my head to see Hadvar nocking another arrow into the bow he had taken in Helgen, as Ralof sprinted towards us with his axe in his hands.

But they were too far away, we had already moved too far from the platform, to the point that we were almost at the entrance to the room.

And then I had an idea.

Using the adrenaline from my newly renewed fear of death, along with the draugrs current lack of balance, I leapt up and rammed my shoulder into it, and continued pushing it until it I accomplished my goal.

Pushing it into the gap in the world.

Unfortunately, my current momentum and lack of balance caused me to fall in with it.

Realising what was happening far too late, I only just managed to stretch my arms out and grab the side of the floor, as the draugr fell howling into the grey void below.

I looked up, steadily stressing out. I tried to grab anything further up, to help me pull myself out of the gap, but the unfortunate state of my physical fitness prevented me from getting very far.

Not to mention that I couldn't use my left arm properly.

I was getting tired.

I tried to reach out and grab a nearby rock.

I slipped.

I couldn't grab hold of anything, and I fell too far from the edge.

It was only when I realised there was no chance of getting out of this, that hands grabbed my arm.

I looked up again to see Ralof lying on the ground beside the gap, holding my arm and trying to pull me up.

Just a few seconds later, Hadvar dived to the ground beside him, grabbed my hand and begun to do the same.

I was saved.

As I looked down into the grey void around me however, I felt something. It was like a weird pulse inside my skull.

And then the pain began, like all my blood had been taken from my veins and replaced by pins, needles, and razors. Pins, needles and razors that had all been superheated in a volcano.

I don't think I even had time to scream before everything went black.

I jumped when I woke up, kind of like when you wake up from a dream where you were falling. I instantly regretted it, and gingerly touched my left shoulder. It still stung, and I guessed I probably reopened it. I was still pretty surprised by the lack of bandages though.

I pushed myself up into a sitting position to see where I was, and realised that I was in Alvors house. In one of the beds in the top room. I looked over to my side, and saw that Leone was sleeping in the other bed. She was shaking, and looked kind of pale.

What happened to her?

"Oh, you're awake!"

I turned over to see Alvors daughter, I think her name was Dorthe?

"Yeah." I answered tiredly, confused about why the kid looked so excited. "Is Hadvar or Ralof around?"

"Oh yeah!" She said. "They're in the Sleeping Giant! I'll go get them!"

She ran out the door, slamming the door far too loudly in a house filled with people who need rest and healing.

Before too long, the door slammed open again.

"Calm down Joey…" I muttered to myself. "She's only a kid, she might not know any better…"

"Joseph." Hadvar said, as he and Ralof walked into the room. "It's good to see you're ok."

"Yeah," I answered, "thanks for saving me in there. What's wrong with Leone?"

"We were actually hoping you could help us with that." Ralof said. "I'm guessing you probably didn't notice, but while you were fighting that draugr, she had some kind of fit. She wouldn't stop shaking, and then she fell unconscious. We thought she was being possessed!"

" _You_ thought she was being possessed." Hadvar said, lightly punching Ralof in the arm.

"Anyway," Ralof grumbled, glaring at Hadvar, "we figured that seeing as you said you've seen this before, you might know what was happening."

"Hmmm…" I said, rubbing my face in a way that might have looked cool if I had any facial hair at the moment, but just looked stupid on my currently shaved face. "Ok, I think I've got it… But first, you'll need some explanations. What do you know about the dragonborn?"

"The dragonborn is a being who has been gifted with the dragon blood by Akatosh himself." Hadvar answered. "Some of the greatest heroes throughout our history have been dragonborn. The Septim line were also said to be dragonborn, all the way down to Martin Septim."

"That is correct, Hadvar." I said. "But did you know about the dragonborns inherent knowledge and comprehension when it comes to the dragon language and the Thu'um?"

"Wait." Ralof interrupted, only mildly annoying me because I was pretty sure he was figuring it out. "Are you saying what I think you are?"

"Probably." I answered. "If you think I'm saying that Leone is dragonborn, then yes."

"But…" He continued, looking troubled. "Will she really be alright? That's a lot of power, a lot of responsibility! I've known a lot of great people who ended up getting completely warped by that kind of pressure."

"I know, and yet you still follow him…" Hadvar muttered under his breath.

"I know." I said quickly, trying to prevent another fight. "But there's some real bad shit coming up, and if anyone in all of Nirn wants to survive the next few years, she'll need to be ready for it, because she's going to be one of the greatest heroes in Tamriel's history."

There was a long moment of silence, as the gravity of the situation really sunk into the two.

"What do you need us to do?"

"What?" I asked, turning to look at Hadvar, who stared right back at me with a look of determination.

"What, do you think we're going to leave her to face this by herself?" Ralof said, and I looked back at him to see that his expression was almost exactly the same, plus a small, cocky grin. "I like to think that I'm not such a terrible person. Hadvar, maybe, but there's no way _I'm_ going to abandon you two like that!"

"Ignoring what the dirty stormcloak next to me just insinuated, I'm not abandoning Leone either, just like I know you won't. While we may not be the best people to say it, you can't abandon your friends."

Friends.

These people, these awesome, strong people consider me their friend.

And they're asking _me_ what we should do next.

"Ok, I think I've got a fair idea of what we should do." I said after a few moments. "The first thing we'll need to do is wait for Leone to heal, and also maybe me, because I have no idea if whatever happened will have any consequences in the future. When we're both healed enough to move, which shouldn't take too long, we'll need to head to Whiterun with the dragonstone as fast as possible, because a dragon is going to attack one of the watchtowers. We'll give Farengar, Balgruufs court wizard, the dragonstone, and that _should_ be the point where word of the dragon reaches Dragonsreach. Oh, and we should probably give Lucan Valerius his golden claw back too. Have you got all that?"

"I've been writing it down." Hadvar said, holding up a small journal. "But I just have to ask you something…"

"Yeah?"

"When did your thought process become this… intelligent?" He asked.

"Why does everyone keep asking that?!" I shouted. "I do have a brain you know!"

"Yes," Hadvar conceded, "but it just seems like you ignore it a fair amount of the time."

"Yeah? Name one example when I haven't been thinking ahead."

"Oh, I don't know…" Ralof chimed in. "That time where you tackled a draugr into a grey, endless void might be a pretty good example…"

"Ok, shut up. Conversation over. Go give Lucan the claw." I said abruptly trying to distract them before they could think of anything else, before I remembered something from before. "And could you guys get me a journal too? I need it to use as a quest menu."

"Um… Sure…" Ralof said, probably confused by my use of game terms.

As they left to start preparing for the trip, I looked around the floor. I was glad to see that the backpack we had stolen from the necromancer was still there, and reached down to grab it.

"Time to learn some magic…" I said to myself, as I pulled one of the Shadow Clone tomes out.

As it turns out, spell books _don't_ actually disappear when you read them in real life.

However, it may be possible that this is just the games way of representing the fact that _you'll_ _never want to read them again._

If I didn't already have my knowledge on Elder Scrolls lore to figure stuff out, I would have ended up quitting in a few minutes, likely shouting about how this was bullshit.

"This is BULLSHIT!"

I mean, I did that last part anyway. I just didn't do the whole _'quitting'_ bit.

Because it totally was bullshit.

No wonder Nords hated magic. There was no way in hell their stubborn, FUCK-YOU-I-CAN-DO-ANYTHING attitude would mix with something this confusing.

Of course, this could have had something to do with the fact that, instead of something like shooting fire out of my hands, or even just summoning life from somewhere else, this magic was actually _creating_ sentient life, no matter how fragile and short-lived it was…

It was still pretty crazy that I was actually able to accomplish it, now that I thought about it.

I know how to create life!

Fuck yeah, I'm awesome!

"Murmph."

"Huh?"

I looked to the other bed to see Leone sitting up, eyes barely open, just looking blankly at the wall in front of her.

"Oh cool, you're up." I said.

"Bwah."

"Ok!" I said, getting up and walking over to her bed. "So you're not in much of a position to take in any information. I think I know what can help with that!"

I have to say, pouring some of my waterskin on a woman who I knew had very few complaints about killing people probably wasn't one of my best ideas, but at least she was awake.

But I swear her sword, which was thankfully still sheathed when it smacked me across the room, wasn't even near her bed just before.

"Oh, good." A voice from across the room said, and I looked over to the stairs leading down to the lower story of the house to see Hadvar standing at the top. "You're awake."

"Hey Hadvar!" Ralofs voice called from the bottom story. "Do I have another example to right down in the journal?"

"Yes, put it in!" He called back.

"I sincerely hope you're not the one responsible for this headache, Joseph…" Leone said in a silent, sinister voice that fit her way better than it should have.

"Ah," I started to respond, as I slowly and painfully got back up from my position against the wall, "I believe that is more likely the fault of the word wall in bleak falls barrow…"

"Word wall, what are yo-" She started, before she stiffened. "The wall."

"Yep, at least you still remember it." I said, taking note of that in my journal. "I was a little worried that it would cause some limited memory loss or something like that, but it's good to see we can cross that hypothesis off the list!"

She just sat there, probably reaching back to try and remember what happened, and the lack of conversation began to get awkward. Naturally, I tried to make conversation.

"Hey Hadvar, I know how to create life now."

"I'm not even going to ask."

"What happened with that wall?" Leone asked, ending what I believed would become a _very_ interesting conversation.

"You absorbed knowledge of the ancient language used by dragons that was engraved into the wall directly into your brain, and you can unlock the ability to use that language in combat the way they do by killing them and absorbing their souls, but seriously Hadvar, _life."_

"Wait, what do you mean?" Leone interrupted again. "Why can't anyone else do it? Why am I the only one?"

"Alright…" I sighed when I realised that Hadvar just wasn't going to react. I guess he just hadn't fully comprehended how big of an achievement the actual _creation_ of life was… "So, you are what is known as a 'dragonborn', and ca-"

"WHAT?!" She shrieked.

"God, and people say _I'm_ bad with interrupting them… Essentially, you have been gifted the blood of dragons. You have a natural understanding of the dragon language, and a natural ability to shout, both of which are skills that take normal people years and years of constant work and study to learn. Due to this fact, you are going to be one of the best people to fight against the dragons, who are kind of going to return and declare war on us all. _We_ , by which I mean me, Hadvar, and Ralof, are going to follow you and help you in this task. I will warn you though, there are people out there who will not see you as a human, so much as a weapon. They're going to try to use you, and while we'll do our best to prevent this, we might not be enough. Are you understanding all of this?"

She nodded, shaking slightly.

"Yes." She said, before a slight look of confusion came onto her face. "How do you know so much about the dragonborn tho-… No, wait… I think I already know…"

"Yeah, it _is_ kind of obvious…" I said with a small laugh. "In the dreams, I was the dragonbo-"

I barely ducked under the sheathed greatsword again.

"Why didn't you tell me about what would happen then?!" The enraged Leone shouted. "I felt like my head got stepped on by a mammoth!"

"Hey, I didn't know that was going to happen either!" I shouted, holding my hands up in front of me. "I never really felt any pain or anything in the dreams! It was more like I was controlling a puppet that just looked like me and pleaseatleastleavethesheathonOHGOD!"

"Anyway," Hadvar said abruptly, as he thankfully stepped in between me and the crazy woman, "what he's saying is that we're going to help you on this journey, and killing him would be a bad idea because he's the only person who really knows what's going on."

"ListentoHadvarbecausehe'stotallyright!"

Leone paused for a moment, before slowly sliding the greatsword back into its sheath.

"Fine."

She looked over to Hadvar.

"Alright, so what's the plan?"

"Actually," Hadvar said as he stepped out from between me and Leone and indicated towards me, "Joseph came up with a plan for us."

And I swear to god that behind Leone, who was currently looking at me with an expression which managed to combine disgust and dread by the way, Hadvar smiled and winked, all while giving me a thumbs up.

Did they even have that gesture in Tamriel?

More importantly though…

"Hey! What's with that look?!" I shouted at Leone. "You've seen that I at least know how to make a good plan!"

"Yeah, but I also saw you, albeit faintly, jump into a hole in the world with a powerful draugr! So forgive me if my faith in you actually using your brain isn't great!"

"Shut up." I growled, not at Leone, but at Hadvar, who was very visibly trying to hold back laughter at Leone's words. "Fine, so I make some dumb decisions sometimes…"

"Most of the time."

"Will you stop interrupting me?! Anyway, yeah I make some dumb decisions, but if Hadvar and Ralof trust my plan, doesn't that mean you can too?"

She paused again, and looked to Hadvar, who nodded.

He was still trying to hold back his laughter though.

The shithead…

"Anyway, this is the plan so far."

I explained the plan again to her, and while she still looked slightly apprehensive about it all, in the end she had to admit that it wasn't bad.

And not bad is victory enough for me!

That was when I heard snickering coming from the stairs, and walked over to see Ralof lying on them just out of sight, looking up at me with a perfect shit-eating grin on his face.

"She thinks you act dumb too."

"Shut up." I told him, fighting the urge to step on his face. "Is everything ready?"

"We've organised the carriage and secured enough supplies for the trip." He said as he got up. "We also got those books you asked for."

"Alright!" I said, and walked over to the other two.

"Ok you guys!" I said. "Everything is ready, so let's get everything together and bring it to the carriage! Leone, you get a break due to… I guess this would count as injury… and don't have to carry anything, which is fine, because I a way around it anyway!"

And as I said that last part, I finally cast the spell I'd been holding.

I'd been holding it back for dramatic effect, and it worked perfectly!

A man in ninja attire appeared, with a blades style katana at his belt.

I cast it again, causing two more to appear, as Leone, Hadvar, and Ralof stared in what may have been fear.

Of course, that might have been due to the fact that I was laughing like a maniac the whole time.

And why wouldn't I laugh?

I was creating _life!_

"Anyway!" I said, abruptly cutting off my manic laughter to start issuing orders. "You three, follow Ralof and start bringing supplies to the carriage."

"Hai, Joseph-dono."

Oh, shit. That was going to become a problem later on.

But at least I got to make Ralof _very_ uncomfortable.

That would show him to make fun of me…

"Weren't you trying to convince us that you _weren't_ a dangerously insane practitioner of conjuration a few days ago?" Leone asked, staring from me to Ralof, who was looking quite nervous as the three, identical men followed him to get the supplies.

"Yes," I said, before giving them a disturbing smile I had perfected through years of practice back home, "and a few days ago, it was true!"

And that would teach _them_ not to make fun of me too!

"Now Hadvar, let's get hauling!" I shouted as I grabbed his arm and pulled him downstairs.

"After all, we've got a world to save!"


	10. A Traditional Whiterun Welcome

**Hey guys. Not sure what to say about this one, because it turned out almost completely different than I'd planned. For example, a certain scene which was meant to be a kind of funny sad, like all the 'sad scenes' in Carnival Phantasm. Instead, it turned out much more serious. You'll probably recognize this scene.**

 **Anyway, yeah. See if you enjoy it. If I made you feel sad this chapter, I will have succeeded in my new goal!**

 **I don't own Elder Scrolls by the way. If I did, I would've made this an official story that I could make money off instead of a fanfiction that gives me nothing.**

* * *

 **Chapter 10: A Traditional Whiterun Welcome**

Our carriage made it about ten minutes away from the Riverwood gate before we were stopped.

What stopped us, you ask?

A scamp.

 _A fucking scamp._

You may remember scamps as those tiny shitheads that you'd run past, barely even pausing as you cut your way through them back in Oblivion.

Apparently, either Oblivion or whatever mod added the scamp in had misrepresented them, because this one was pretty fucking powerful…

Seriously, if I didn't have hordes of expendable ninja bodyguards to send at it, that could have gone _much_ worse.

And a strange, multi-coloured rabbit with the voice of a small child. I sent that at the scamp too.

"Seriously though guys," I said, ignoring the screeches of pain and terror coming from the scamp, " _life."_

"Yes, we get it!" Leone shouted at me. "It's a good talent! I'm sure it'll help us in the future! Now stop telling us about it every few seconds!"

"Well," I said, feeling rather put out, "it sounds like someone's being a grumpy pants because they just woke up and learned that the lives of every mortal being in Tamriel will depend on their choices and actions. But you wanna know how to fix that?"

"No."

"RAINBOW RABBITS!"

As I shouted this, I cast the rainbow rabbit spell from the ninja house until I couldn't cast anymore, filling the entire carriage with multi-coloured, laughing rabbit creatures.

"Damn you Joseph!" She shouted.

"Come on," I said, grinning the entire time, "You're smiling!"

"I am and I hate it!"

I looked over to Ralof and Hadvar, who were also visibly trying to hide their smiles.

Heheh, yeah!

Joe the morale guy!

Giving us morale in the form of sentient, polychromatic long eared rodents!

God forbid they ever realise just how heavily they outnumber us…

A moaning sound, much like that of a mammoth came from the forest not too far away, broke me out of my thoughts. This confused me, because there shouldn't have been any mammoths in this area.

"Oh, Talos help us."

I turned to Ralof, who was huddled in the fetal position underneath a pile of rainbow rabbits.

"What? What's wrong?"

"There aren't any mammoths in these areas," Hadvar explained, and I turned to see that he was reacting in a similar way, with his head poking out from another pile, "which means that it can only be one of… them…"

I heard another moan, and I turned to see what it was.

It wasn't until we made it out of the trees and next to the waterfall area of the river that I finally realised what they were staring at.

For related reasons, I remembered yet another reason why I hated myself.

Standing on a rocky outcropping by the small waterfall, maybe twenty metres from the carriage, was a giant humanoid creature, standing on all fours. It was completely bald, and its back legs were tiny while its arms were massive. Next to its neck were two bony spikes, still covered in skin.

I remembered these things…

These abominations…

Manmoths.

The carriage driver, whose name I couldn't quite remember, was trying his best to give it as wide a birth as he could. I heartily agreed with the measures he was taking, remembering in clear detail just how terrible manmoths reacted when you got close to them. However, we were going _way_ too slow for my liking, especially considering what would happen if this thing decided we were too suspicious.

"Hey," I whispered to the driver, before remembering once again that I didn't remember his name, 'um…. Bjorek?"

"Jon." He whispered back.

"Wow, I was _way_ off… Anyway, is there any way we could get past this thing faster?"

"That would be a terrible idea, sir." Jon responded. "The Jarls wizard, Farengar Secret-Fire, believes that the vision of manmoths is based on movement, and from what I've seen in my travels, I'm fairly sure he's right. Sudden movements seem to startle the creatures, while slow, calm movements don't attract their attention."

"I suppose that makes sense…" I said, still incredibly worried that the creature might try to attack us. But if someone who spent most of their time on the road, constantly manoeuvring around these creatures said something like this, then who was I to refute them?

A much louder moan caused us to turn, and stare as something attracted the manmoths attention.

It was a small, black and white sabercat.

And it was running directly at us.

"What're you whining about, Joe?" I hear you ask. "What's a sabercat compared to a levelled draugr? Surely it can't be that bad!"

And normally, I'd agree, if not for the fact that the sabercat had already enraged the manmoth, causing it to pursue it.

Fortunately for the sabercat, it was distracted from this task when it crashed into the side of our carriage, nearly tipping it over as small, multi-coloured rabbits went flying all over road.

Ralof, Hadvar and I let out some very uncharacteristic, high pitched shrieks of terror, and Leone waded through the knee-deep flood of rabbits to Jon.

"HURRY JON!"

""COME ON GIRL, LET'S GO!" Jon shouted to the horse who was pulling our carriage, and we took off down the windy road.

We had made it only a short distance away from the creature before it managed to get back onto its feet, roar at us, and then move _way_ fucking faster than it should have been able to.

"Joseph!" Leone shouted at me. "Send some of those shadow clone things at it!"

"I can't!" I shouted back. "I used all of it up on rainbow rabbits!"

"This is why we call you an idiot!"

"HEY, SHUT UP! I just need to let it recharge a bit!"

"I don't think we have that time, Joseph!" Hadvar shouted.

"Don't worry, friends."

We all stopped shouting at each other, and looked down to see one of the rainbow rabbits looking back at us.

"There's no need to fight…" It said. "We were brought into life thanks to you… It only seems fitting that we would leave it to save you too!"

"No…" I whispered, feeling tears rising to my eyes.

"It's alright!" It said. "I was only here for a short while, but I was… happy…"

"I never did give you a name, did I?" I said, tears beginning to stream down my face as I desperately tried to think of a nice name. "Please don't do this… T-… Tammie."

It did this weird thing with its ears, which I guess was its version of a smile, and I noticed that the fur around its eyes was kind of wet too.

"Tammie…" It said slowly. "I… I really like it… But that's why we have to do this. You were so nice in the few minutes we were alive, and we're not going to let someone as nice as you die. Thank you, and goodbye… Father..."

When it finished saying this, it hopped over to the back of the carriage, where the manmoth had started summoning those weird chaurus-shaped things made of human bones.

"Brothers! Sisters! Follow me! LET US ALL PROTECT FATHER AND HIS FRIENDS!"

And Tammie jumped off the carriage, with a swarm of his/her fellow rainbow rabbits cheering and flooding out after him/her.

We all watched as Tammie and the other rainbow rabbits swarmed over the manmoth and its skeletal minions, some getting brutally knocked off as we got further and further away.

"TAMMIE!"

The mood was sombre when we made it to Whiterun that evening.

Even Leone seemed pretty down in the dumps.

We had lost a friend.

Alongside the loss of Tammie (RIP Tammie, 200 4E-200 4E) , we had run into more wolves and grumpy creatures on the way to the city, and I had sent out way more shadow clones than were required in my grief. This was how I learned another way Skyrim had just kicked me in the face.

Using shadow clones essentially split my life force in half every time I did it.

That meant that, along with the magica it used to cast the spell, which was noticeably more than the zero magica it cost in the game, it also split my physical strength and stamina in half and gave it to the shadow clones.

This meant that I couldn't use anywhere near the amount that I'd always used in the game, because it would probably kill me.

Which meant I was back to square one when it came to dealing with danger.

"Alright." I said. "Hadvar and Ralof, could you guys get us some rooms at the inn?"

"Sure." Ralof said. "Are you going to talk to the Jarl?"

"Yeah." I said. "I'll go because I already know about most of what's going to happen, and Leone should be there because… you know…"

"Are you talking about how I'm drag-"

"Shhh!" I shouted, putting my hand over her mouth and trying to ignore the look of indignant rage on her face. "Don't mention that in public yet, people will go crazy! And there are a bunch of people I've never seen before here… I don't want to take any chances, because some of these guys might be the kind of people who will try to use you, get it?"

She still looked pissed, but she at least seemed to realise what I was saying, and nodded.

"Good." I said, taking my hand off and going ahead. I really wasn't in the mood for this kind of thing right now.

We continued to walk in silence through the large city. It was literally huge. I guess what people had said about the game of Skyrim just being a condensed representation of the actual, much larger version of Skyrim that was meant to be the real version.

Thankfully, it was relatively easy to follow the main road and find the stairs that led up to the wind district, and then to the cloud district above it.

"Alright, here we are." I said, before turning to Leone. "You ready to reveal the secret of your existence to the rest of Skyrim?"

"Wait, why can I reveal it to Jarl Balgruuf?" She asked. "Won't he try to use me too?"

"No," I replied, "Balgruuf is a good guy. He'll help us."

"Well, alright." She said. "I guess if anyone would know that, it would be you… Let's get this over with."

We walked through the door.

Dragonsreach, or at least the first room, looked pretty much the same as it did in the game. That would help for what was going to happen next.

Much like every time I'd played the game, I ignored whatever the Jarl was saying at the front, and concentrated on his housecarl, Irileth. As soon as she drew her sword, I did what I always did.

I walked around to the other side of the table and attempted to avoid her completely.

Unfortunately, unlike in the game, she did not have some form of programming limiting her from doing anything until she reached me, and she gave some kind of signal to the two guards standing near me.

Who proceeded to tackle me to the ground.

"OW!" I shouted. "Son of a bitch! Why did you do that?!"

"Irileth, what's going on?!" I heard the Jarls voice shout.

"Stay back, my jarl!" Irileth shouted back. "He was trying to bypass me to get to you! He's likely an assassin!"

Oh.

Fuck.

I guess I really should have expected a reaction like that...

"Joseph!"

That was Leone. Wow, was that worry in her voice?

"Wait!" I shouted from the ground. "I'm not an assassin! I'm here with important news, including but not limited to the destruction of Helgen!"

"What?" I barely heard Balgruuf whisper. "Men, let him go! Watch him closely though."

As he said this, I felt the weight of the guards rising off of me, and I was able to lift my head again. I pushed myself off the ground, and looked over to see that literally everyone in the room was staring at me. I could see that Irileth looked angry, probably about how Balgruuf had let me get up, but she wasn't going to say anything about it.

"Ok…" I said, trying to ignore the fact that I may or may not have landed in a position that left my left fist directly under my testicles. "So, essentially, it was a dragon."

"Wait, what?" Balgruuf asked.

"In Helgen. A dragon destroyed it when the empire was executing some stormcloaks, including Ulfric himself. They only got one of them before it attacked though, so most of them escaped. I and my companion here, Leone Vallius, were also captured and about to be executed. Totally unwarranted by the way! We are not crooks! Anyway, we escaped with a legionnaire and a stormcloak who used to be friends when they were kids in Riverwood, and we prepared a few things. One, we planned to come and tell you this, and two, through ways that I cannot divulge right now, I had heard of an item known as a 'dragon stone' located in Bleak Falls Barrow, and went to obtain it. We've also brought it here, as we've heard your court wizard is an expert on the subject of dragons. Is this correct?"

"It is!" A familiar voice came from somewhere in the croud. "Farengar Secret-Fire, Whiterun court wizard and dragon expert. I have heard of this dragon stone as well, and had been planning to send someone after it, but this is a much more preferable scenario."

I looked to Leone, who was carrying the stone in her bag because mine was still pretty full of spell tomes.

"Hey Leone, could you go with him? He should be in the crowd somewhere. I'll talk to Balgruuf about the other thing."

She seemed a little annoyed, but she did it anyway.

When they left, I turned to the rest of the crowd and just stood there awkwardly for a bit, waiting for them to stop staring at me.

After about a minute of dead silence, with the only sounds coming from Leone slowly losing her composure in the face of Farengar's naturally abrasive personality, I finally decided to speak.

"So… Um… Yeah… This is kind of a sensitive topic, so could some of you… you know… leave?"

No one did.

Frustrated, I turned to Balgruuf.

"Hey, could we go up into that top room or something?" I whispered. "You can bring Irileth and some of your more trusted guys, but I really don't want this to get too well known yet. People might try to use the subject of this conversation in a way that could negatively impact her in a very strong way."

"Of course. Hrongar, Irileth, Proventus, follow us. You two as well." He said to the two guards who had tackled me, and I was sure were still glaring at me inside their helmets.

We walked into the room, and he turned to look at me.

And Jesus Christ it was terrifying.

I know it's a cliché, but it was actually like it was piercing my soul.

"So," he began, "before we start, let me just ask you something. Why should I trust you when you say you aren't an assassin?"

"Well…" I said, failing horribly to hide the shaking in my voice. "I guess you can't. That's why I let you bring Irileth and those guards in… And… you know, do you really think a cowardly idiot like me could be a capable assassin?"

"I never said capable, but I see what you mean. I'm still going to have my people keeping an eye on you though… Now what was that final piece of information you had for me?"

"Yeah, right. Just let me make this one request. Please, _please_ don't let this information leave this room at this point, because I'm almost certain other people will try to use her without caring about what happens to her."

"Of course," he said, "you have my word."

"Alright. Leone is dragonborn."

"I'm sorry. What?"

"She's dragonborn. You know, Dovahkiin? Like Tiber Septim and Alessia and all those other guys whose names I can't remember? She can absorb dragon souls, learn their language, and shout like they can. Of course, she hasn't actually absorbed a soul and shouted yet, but I _have_ seen her absorb knowledge directly into her brain from a word wall."

"But if you haven't seen her absorb a soul or shout, then how can you be so sure that she can do those things?" Proventus Avenicci asked.

"Well, I've seen it in prophetic dreams and shit like that."

"Oh, of course!" Irileth scoffed, as she moved to draw her sword. "So now you can see the future too? Jarl Balgruuf, why are we wasting our time with this fool?"

"Wait a moment Irileth." Balgruuf said, holding his hand out in front of her. "Alright, boy. Surely you can find some way to prove _this_ claim, correct?"

"Actually," I told him, "I can with this one. I'm not entirely sure how long it will be, but in the near future, a dragon will attack the… I think it was the western watchtower? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was it. Once again though, I'm not entirely sure _when_ it will happen. It may very well be in a few days, or maybe even a we-"

"MY LORD!" A guard shouted as he ran up the stairs.

"What is it? And why is it so important that it has to interrupt a private meeting?" Jarl Balgruuf asked, an irritated tone in his voice.

"A dragon my lord, at the western watchtower! When I saw it come over the mountains I ran here as fast as I could!"

There was silence for a few moments, causing the poor guard to stare between the rest of us, confused by the silence.

"Wow." I said, breaking the silence. "That could not have been timed better."

"Irileth!" Balgruuf shouted. "Go get Farengar and the girl. When they're here, gather some men and bring them to the watchtower."

He turned to me.

"You, go with the girl when she gets here. If what you say is true, then you'd know how the dragon fights, yes?"

"Only what anyone could figure out." I told him. "They stay in the air a lot, shout fire at us. Can't really remember its name. Mirmulnir or something like that…"

"Joseph!"

I looked over to see Leone walking up the stairs. I thought called my name like that because of the dragon.

I started to feel like that might not actually have been the case when she punched me in the face.

"Why in oblivion would you make me go with this man?!"

"Alright. Is that really called for?" Farengar asked behind her.

"That and _so_ much more…"

"Guys!" I cut them off, as I pushed myself of the floor for the second time in about twenty minutes. "Let's not fight amongst ourselves for once and fight the giant death monster that attacked the watchtower! Leone, you come with me. We'll head straight to the watchtower and look for the survivors."

"You mean there were survivors?" The guard who had run over here asked, a hopeful tone in his voice.

"Yeah, I don't know their names, but most of them should have survived." I answered.

The man dropped to his knees.

"Thank the divines…" He said, obviously crying from the sound of it, before suddenly stopping. "Wait, how do you know their alive?"

"I'm a prophet." I answered, patting him on the shoulder, before leaving the room, motioning for Leone to follow me.

As we walked back out through the great doors of Dragonsreach, Leone looked at me.

"Was what you said to that man true? About the other guards being alive?"

"Yes." I answered. "Or at least, they are for now. C'mon though, we should hurry so we can ensure they stay that way."

"Alright." She said, with something that might almost have been a smile on her face. "I'll go get Ralof and Hadvar."

"Good. Meet me at the gate when you've got them."

It took way too long for them to join me at the gate.

Long enough for me to finish another spell book, which was _way_ easier than the ones creating artificial life.

Actually wait, it wasn't actually creating life was it? It was channelling my life force into them. It was still creating an artificial body and artificial souls though, so it was just as cool.

Anyway, I was able to finish learning the bound sword spell, which I had Hadvar and Ralof buy from Lucan for me back in Riverwood.

Irileth was already at the barracks, which were still right next to the gate, giving her speech to the guards.

"Joseph!"

I looked up to see Leone, Hadvar and Ralof running over to me.

It wasn't long before they got close enough for me to see the most likely reason for their late arrival.

Hadvar and Ralof were visibly drunk.

 _Very_ visibly drunk.

"God damn it guys…."

"Wh-… Whut?" Hadvar asked. "Ish it becaush we're drunk? Dun worry Josheff, we can shtill fight!"

He tried to pull the sword out of its scabbard and somehow managed to lose his balance when it got caught on his belt, falling on his face.

Ralof laughed at his companion's misfortune for a full minute without even breathing, before turning to me.

"I dunn geddit dough." Ralof slurred. "How're yuu not drunk too? Afterall, Temmie wash _your_ daugh-"

Thankfully, Leone silenced him by smacking him over the head, and he managed to fall directly on top of Hadvar, who didn't even seem to notice.

He held up a mug he'd gotten from… somewhere… and raised it above his head.

"T' Temmie!"

"To Tem!"

I looked over to Irileth and the rest of the guards, who were watching on with a weird cross between confusion and amusement.

"Um…" I began, not quite sure of how to ask this. "Could we leave them in the barracks until we get back?"

"Of… Of course." Irileth said, motioning for two guards to grab the two and take them into the barracks.

"Valeria, my love, is that you?"

"Try to kiss me and I'll drop you."

Ignoring Hadvars exchange with the guard who was carrying him, I followed Irileth and the others, who were all running through the gate.

And we watched as the plume of smoke rose from the tower.

As the fires raged across the ground around it.

And as the beast circled above it.

The dragon hadn't waited for us.

"SHIT!" I shouted. "Everybody get to the tower!"

"Men, follow me!" Irileth shouted, running down the path from the gate.

I, on the other hand, once again, repeated something much stupider from my time playing the game.

I jumped off the fortifications onto the top of the first arch on the way to the city. I then ran along and jumped off the edge of that arch, landing on a large block of rubble, before jumping off that too and landing on the ground.

As I ran across the plains to the watchtower, it occurred to me how stupid what I had just done was, and I briefly looked back to see that Leone had actually _followed_ me down that stupid path.

I turned back to look where I was going, before noticing that the world had taken a weird tilt for some reason.

And then I realised I had tripped on a rock.

I fell of a low ledge into a small creek, hurting my legs slightly.

"Why are we going cross-country?!" Leone shouted at me. "There's a road for a reason!"

"Just shut up and keep running!" I shouted back, pushing myself up from the ground and looking at my legs. They were just grazed, it would be fine.

A roar rang out across the plains, and I looked to see the most horrifying thing I'd ever witnessed.

The dragon had left the tower, and was flying towards the two of us.

And unlike Helgen, there were no walls to hide behind on the plains.

 **YOR TOOR SHUL!**

"GET DOWN!" I shouted at Leone, who was still looking at me, and pulled her down into the creek, before rolling myself and her under one of the ledges at its sides.

I barely got beneath the ledge when the stream of fire hit the creek, evaporating a good deal of it instantly.

I heard its massive wings beating as it passed over us, and came around for a second shot.

"OW! YOU DIVINE DAMNED BASTARD!"

As we got up, I saw Leone furiously try to pat out a small flame on the sleeve of the stormcloak armour she was wearing.

The dragon seemed to almost pause for a second when it saw her, and I swear its eyes narrowed.

It didn't just see us as easy prey now.

It knew about Leone.

"Oh fuck! Leone run!"

"NO!"

Wait, what?

I turned back from my desperate sprint to the tower to see Leone, still standing in place, staring at the dragon.

She was going to try and fight it.

But she couldn't fight it alone, not yet.

It was going to kill her.

But if I tried to save her, it would kill me too.

If I ran now, I could make it to the watchtower and make a plan.

But Leone would die.

"FUCK!"

I ran back as fast as I could.

The dragon was rearing back its head, getting ready to shout.

Leone moved her greatsword into position.

I lifted both of my hands up, and prepared to cast my spell.

As the spell formed in my hand, I remembered something from the spell books. While the spell doesn't require its name to be spoken when it is cast, a vocal incantation can still be used to help focus your mind on it, increasing the chance of success.

I realised that, given the nature of the bound sword spell, there was only two words I could think of that were appropriate, and I was more than willing to steal them.

As the distance closed between us, three voices screamed out at once.

 **"YOR TOOR SHUL!"**

"TAKE IT YOU BASTARD!"

"TRACE ON!"


	11. The Choices We Make

**Hey guys. Sorry it's been a while since I last updated, but I've been a little distracted by things. Keep in mind that when I say 'things', I mostly mean school and Fallout 4.**

 **Mostly Fallout 4 though.**

 **Anyway, if the writing seems kind of weird and disjointed throughout this chapter, that's mostly because I wrote it over a long period of time due to these distractions and a depressing lack of ideas. There's also the fact that I have so many mods installed in Skyrim that it either crashes every half an hour, or gets the infinite loading glitch by around level 10. This brings me to a related topic, which is that I might get some of the details of the story line wrong, because I pretty much only have the wikis to tell me what happens after the tomb of Jurgen Windcaller.**

 **Also, to answer some questions (mostly not actually questions, but whatever...) that I forgot to answer in the last few chapters:**

 **Ranger Station Charlie: If it feels forced, it's probably because it totally is. Thanks for the criticism though, and I'll try to follow it well.**

 **Lunar Loon: Thank you for the reviews. Every review I get makes me want to keep writing this, and I actually prefer the long ones!**

 **TheWolfBoss06: There will be literally everything I can think of in this story, so yes.**

 **So, in conclusion, remember to review this if you liked it. I** ** _do_** **like it when you follow and favorite it, but it's the reviews that make me feel like I should continue to do this and never,** ** _ever_** **stop.**

 **I don't own Skyrim, but remember to tell me if you find out how I can!**

 **Chapter 11: The Choices We Make**

I threw the swords.

It was surprisingly a lot less difficult than I'd figured, like they were only half as heavy as they should have been.

Also surprisingly, despite my negligible physical strength, it seemed to actually have an effect.

Mirmulnir veered to the right, a stream of fire following his fall as he crashed to the ground a few metres from Leone with a gash across the membrane of his wing.

"Holy shit!" I shouted, as continued to run. "Why did that work?!"

"You damned fool!" Leone shouted back at me, as she charged at Mirmulnir and swung her sword at his neck. "What in oblivion were you doing if you didn't think that would work?!"

"Stop yelling at me!" I shouted back, as I watched Mirmulnir whip his neck away from the blade, before spinning around and swinging his tail at her. "He's on the ground, and neither of us are dead yet! That means that what I did _worked_!"

"It was still stupid!" She shouted, rolling under Mirmulnirs tail and swinging at it, causing him to jump away again.

"You know what else is stupid?" I asked as I summoned two more swords. "Wasting our breath shouting at each other!"

That was the point when Mirmulnir, rather than focus on the much more talented warrior he was currently fighting, apparently decided to target the idiot who seemed to be blundering his way through the fight by complete luck.

It worked.

Almost faster than I could pick it up, I was sent flying back a couple of metres, getting winded in the process.

"Joseph!"

I looked up to see a sight which still haunts me to this day, as I stared into Mirmulnirs eyes.

The eyes of a predator.

He reared his head back like a snake, and for the second time in the two days I had spent in Nirn, I knew I was about to die.

And for the second time in the two days I had spent in Nirn, I was saved by an arrow from a source I had completely forgotten about.

An arrow which was joined by at least a dozen more.

"Continue firing at the dragon! Don't give it a chance to recover!" Irileth shouted, and I looked over to see her standing a fair distance away, surrounded by Whiterun guards with bows.

Mirmulnir merely looked over at them, and sent a ball of fire at them, before charging at them with some kind of jumping lunge.

It was familiar for some reason.

I watched as the guards scattered, none of them dropping their weapons as they spread out to continue firing at Mirmulnir.

On the other hand, Irileth didn't even bother to run, simply drawing her sword and fighting Mirmulnir in close combat. It was obvious that this wasn't what Mirmulnir had expected, as he jumped back, but not before taking a slash to the jaw. In response to his injury, Mirmulnir charged at Irileth again, this time keeping to the ground. Irileth barely managed to roll out of the way.

She was still recovering from the roll when Mirmulnir skidded to a stop, and charged back in the opposite direction.

Irileth, along with two guards who had gone to help her, where knocked about ten meters to either side, one of the guards landing with a sickening snapping sound against one of the larger rocks.

It was so confusing…

Leone re-joined the battle with a feint, manipulating Mirmulnir into dodging into another barrage of arrows.

Mirmulnirs attack patterns were definitely different to the normal dragon attacks in the game…

Mirmulnir spun around, simultaneously protecting his face from the arrows and striking Leone with his tale.

So why did they seem so familiar, damn it?!

 _Tigrex, you idiot…_

Tigrex…

TIGREX?!

It was so stupid, would a Skyrim dragon be using the moveset of a Monster Hunter wyvern?

But it all checked out.

The lunges, the charges, the apparent focus on mobility, it was all stuff I had had to deal with when I fought that orange bastard.

And then I realised that I actually had something of an advantage here.

Because I had memorised the Tigrex moveset in its entirety in order to defeat it.

I pushed myself back onto my feet, and I ran.

I was tired.

My side hurt.

But I knew what was going to happen.

I summoned two more swords, having lost the others when Mirmulnir hit me. He turned to face me, and seemed to lift a piece of rubble from the ground in the process, flinging it at me. I dodged to the side, and noticed something that almost made me turn right the hell around and run in the opposite direction.

While the Tigrex also had an attack where he launched part of the environment at you, they would generally do it by pushing it with their much bulkier, foreleg-like wings.

Mirmulnir, on the other hand, seemed to use the momentum from his turn to pull it from the ground somehow.

Meaning that it was, while similar, a different attack from the one the Tigrex uses, as if Mirmulnir was just mimicking the moveset.

Which meant my plan of attack was based on inaccurate information.

Shit.

Mirmulnir charged at me, his mouth open and ready to pluck me from the ground.

And Leone jumped in from the side, swinging her greatsword directly into his open mouth.

Mirmulnir roared in agony as he reared back.

Both Leone and I looked at each other, and I knew we had the same thing in mind.

As Mirmulnir reared back onto his hind legs, both Leone and I slashed at his vulnerable underbelly as much as we could. While I was definitely getting in more slashes with my bound swords, it wasn't hard to see that Leone's strikes where the ones doing more damage.

 **"DOVAHKIIN?! NO!"**

Oh, nice. There was the signal that I could finally relax.

I fell back, not even caring about the slight pain from my landing, and just lay there staring up at the stars.

It was a little hard to see through the smoke at some points, but it was easy enough to relax.

Meanwhile, I idly listened to all the guards go on about how Leone was the dragonborn, and how unbelievable and awesome it was.

It went on until she decided it was time to test out her 'Unrelenting Shout' shout, knocking one of the more unprepared guards on their ass.

While I found this turn of events amusing, it was probably about time we returned to the city.

"Hey guys!" I called out to them. "While watching Leone literally shout you into the ground is fairly amusing, the jarl will probably want to know what happened."

I watched Irileths face crinkle up in annoyance, much like someone coming into contact with a short, white, penguin-like legendary sword, as the other guards turned to face me.

"As much as I despise agreeing with this fool, he's right. Let's get moving!"

As I turned to leave, I was sure I caught a murderous expression from Leone, but felt like it wasn't exactly the best time to resolve whatever problem she had decided she had against me _this_ time…

As we walked, I listened to the others panic as the Greybeards called out to Leone, thankfully having heard it enough that I didn't shit myself when it happened.

Leone and I walked into the room Hadvar and Ralof had rented for our group for the night. The Bannered Mare was way bigger than it was in the game, having two floors completely dedicated to rooms above the initial tavern area. Our room had even had a window, giving us a pretty nice view over the market area, particularly the circle with the well in it.

I had just finished looking around when Leone spoke.

"What in Oblivion were you doing?"

"Wha-"

I barely realised what was happening as Leones fist landed on the side of my face, and I was pushed into the wall with her hands on the collar of my shirt.

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, YOU DAMNED FOOL?!" She screamed at me. "YOU COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED BACK THERE! WHY DIDN'T YOU KEEP RUNNING?!"

"I-… I could've been killed?" I asked, slowly filling with rage. "Are you actually being serious right now?"

I kicked her in the shin to make her let me go, and pushed her away from me in anger.

"WHY DIDN'T _YOU_ KEEP RUNNING?!"

"I WAS TRYING TO HOLD IT BACK SO YOU COULD ESCAPE!" she shouted back, running towards me with her right fist reared back. "I'VE BEEN FIGHTING LONGER THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE! I WOULD'VE BEEN ABLE TO FIGHT IT OFF LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU TO GET AWAY!"

"IT WAS A DRAGON!" I shouted as I dodged to the left, barely avoiding the punch. "I DON'T CARE HOW GOOD WITH A SWORD YOU ARE, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO FIGHT IT ALONE! IT WOULD HAVE STAYED IN THE AIR AND SHOUTED AT YOU UNTIL IT KIL-URGH!"

I was knocked away as her left hand collided with my ribcage. If she had been wearing metal armour instead of leather, my ribs would be broken at this point. Thankfully though she didn't seem to have the same proficiency in hand-to-hand as she did with swords.

I landed painfully on the ground, and barely managed to roll away when she tried to grab me again. I used the fact that she was off balance to swing my leg out, tripping her. Once she was on the ground, I rushed over and sat on top of her, using my legs to keep her arms at her side.

"I could have done it…" She said, all the stress and fear from the last few days emerging in her voice. "I'm the dragonborn. It's what I'm meant to do…"

"You're right." I agreed, obviously surprising her. "But that's exactly why you can't risk your life like that… If you die, then there won't be anyone left to defeat the dragons permanently. If you die, everyone else will follow…"

I looked up at the roof. There was no way she'd let it go if she noticed what was happening.

"That, and I'd miss you…"

Shit.

I didn't think I'd done a very good job of hiding it, especially if my voice was anything to go by.

"It's only been a few days, but you, Hadvar and Ralof have become… important to me… It might be because I never had a lot of friends as a kid, I don't know… But the talking, the shouting, the general chaotic feeling… Hell, even the fighting… I like this… And I don't want to lose this… So please… Don't pull shit like that again…"

Neither of us spoke for a while.

Finally, after about five minutes of silence, Leone managed to think of something to say.

"Are you crying?"

"Shut up!" I shouted, rubbing my eyes with my sleeve.

And that was when Leone did the last thing I would have ever expected from her.

She laughed.

 _Laughed._

I didn't even realise she was capable of something as positive as laughter.

"You really are a fool, did you know that?"

"Well, that's what the old man always said…" I said, rubbing the back of my neck in embarrassment.

And then I started laughing too.

I couldn't help it.

It was infectious.

I'm sure it would have looked incredibly strange to anyone who saw it, with me sitting on Leones stomach, using my legs to pin her arms to her sides, as we both laughed like maniacs, tears still running down my face.

So it must have been fate that Hadvar walked through the door at that exact moment.

Three pairs of eyes met each other, one completely blank, and two in pure horror, as all three of us realised what it looked like.

Slowly, Hadvar backed out of the room and quietly closed the door, leaving me and Leone frozen in our positions.

"What?" We heard Ralofs voice through the door. "What are you doing?"

"I think the drink must still be effecting me." Hadvar said. "I just had a very vivid hallucination."

He opened the door again, and we repeated the scenario from a few seconds ago.

And then he seemed to realise that this probably wasn't a hallucination after all.

And his expression shifted into the eighth largest shit-eating grin I had ever seen.

This was instantly beaten down into ninth place when Ralof peeked over his shoulder.

"Well…" Ralof said gleefully. "Looks like someone's getting ready to celebrate their success in a very 'special' way, huh?"

I suddenly found myself both horizontal and in mid-air, sailing across the room.

I dimly heard Leone getting rapidly defending her position as Ralof and Hadvar continue to heckle us.

The only thing I heard clearly though were the words "stupid, disgusting creature", which I couldn't help but feel was meant to describe me.

And then I hit the wall.

"Wake up, Joseph."

I opened my eyes to see Ralof staring down at me.

The grin from before was still glued to his face.

That was when I noticed that my head was hurting quite a lot.

"Oh… Oh my god…" I said as I grabbed my head. "How long was I unconscious?"

"About a day."

"WHAT?!" I shouted.

"Yes," he continued, "all of that night, yesterday, and last night. It's still morning now though, so you get to wander around the town today!"

"Oh, nice. I would love to, but my head feels like I got thrown across the room by an angry frost troll."

"Not entirely inaccurate," Ralof replied, before handing me a potion, "this should help with that though."

"Oh, cool."

I drank the potion without even checking it, something which the paranoia I had begun to develop in my time around this group would normally never let me do.

"Oh… Oh wow…"

"Good right?"

"Yeah." I said, as I got out of the bed and stretched. "I feel so full of energy, and my head doesn't hurt anymore… What kind of potion is thi-"

And then I froze, as I actually _looked_ at the bottle I had been given.

"Ralof," I asked quietly, "is this skooma?"

"No." He answered.

"Oh, thank go-"

"It's skooma mixed with a health potion!"

I froze again, and turned to look at the smiling Nord.

"Ralof," I asked quietly, "why did you just give me an incredibly addictive illegal substance?"

"Because it's the best hangover cure around." He said calmly.

I was about to explode at him when he spoke again.

"And don't worry, the health potion prevents you from becoming addicted, so you'll be fine!"

I continued to glare at him, before sighing, and heading to the door.

"Fine… Let's just go and explore Whiterun. Hey Lydia, could you help me carry some of this stu-… wait."

I turned and looked at the woman leaning against the wall.

"So…" She said slowly. "You're the man who tried to assassinate the Jarl?"

"Oh god… Who's been saying that?" I asked, my face in my palm.

"Oh, a few people…" She said, as she held her hand up and began counting them down with her fingers. "Irileth, Farengar, Hrongar, Proventus, Miss Leone, several other servants, a-"

"Whoa, wait." I interrupted her, bringing my hands up. " _Miss_ Leone? Why just add Miss for her?"

"Well, it's only natural to show respect for ones Thane…" She said, looking at me like I was an idiot.

"Oh… Right…" I said, realising that I _was_. "So they made her a Thane, huh? Oh well… I fully expected her to get most of the credit for defeating Mirmulnir, what with her being the dragonborn and all…"

"Well… About that…" Ralof said, sounding slightly subdued.

"What?" I asked.

"While many citizens of Whiterun are grateful, there are also a lot of people who are… less than pleased."

"What?" I asked, confused. "Why would people be angry with her?"

"Damn you!" A voice shouted from through the window.

Confused, I moved over to the window and looked out onto the street.

A crowd was steadily growing outside the inn, with Leone and Hadvar in the centre. Hadvar was glaring at the crowd, and Leone… She just looked uncharacteristically uncomfortable.

"Damn! It's happening again!"

I turned around to see Ralof looking over my shoulder, glaring down at the street. Lydia had already ran out of the room. I could hear her footsteps thumping as she ran down the hallway on the other side of the wall.

"Come on Joseph, let's go!"

"Wait!" I shouted to Ralof, who was already at the door. "What's going on?! Why are people getting so pissed?!"

"The outpost was destroyed!" He shouted as we ran.

"What outpost?!"

"The outpost around the tower!" He shouted back. "They still call it a watchtower, but it has a fairly large outpost built up around it, with a full garrison of guards! But now it's been destroyed, with almost no survivors! And then the people here found out that we knew!"

"What do you mean when you say 'we knew'?!" I asked, but I had a pretty bad sinking feeling in my stomach that I already knew.

We dashed through the tavern, making a worried-looking Hulda jump, and burst through the door.

"My son was garrisoned at the watchtower! How could you let him die?!"

"You wasted all that time! You could have saved them, saved my wife, but instead you wasted too much time rubbing shoulders with the Jarl!"

"You _knew_ that the dragon was going to attack! You should have been there! You could have gone straight to the tower and helped them!"

"I bet you were taking your time because you were too concerned about your own worthless hide, you damned beast!"

"Shut your damned mouths you disrespectful bastards!" Hadvar shouted, causing some of the shouters to flinch back at the intensity of his shouting. "I didn't see any of you out there, so what right do you have t-"

He stopped before he could finish, looking to Leones hand on his shoulder. She was looking down, with her hair casting a shadow over her eyes.

She was trembling.

 _No._

"Stop, Hadvar." She said, her voice hitching as she spoke. "They're right. We should have gone there right away. _I_ should have gone there straight away."

"What in Oblivion are you saying?" Hadvar asked, sounding like he could barely believe what she was saying. "You couldn't have fought that thing by yourself! You needed all those guards just to fight it! Guards who understood what they would be fighting!"

"There were guards at the watchtower Hadvar!" Leone shouted as she rounded on him, tears visibly running down her cheeks. "If we had gone to the watchtower first, if we had told them what was going to happen, we could have made a plan before the dragon arrived! We could have saved them!"

 _NO._

"Face it Hadvar." She said. "We failed. We had the chance to save every single man and woman in that outpost, and we failed them… I failed them…"

"You monster!"

A rock flew out from somewhere in the crowd, hitting Leone in the forehead.

"WHO THREW THAT?!"

Suddenly, Ralof and Lydia had both pushed their way through the crowd to stand beside Hadvar and Leone, both wearing expressions that probably could have intimidated a particularly aggressive bear.

"I SAID WHO THREW THAT?!" Ralof shouted again.

A second rock was thrown, from a completely different area of the crowd.

Lydia barely managed to move between the rock and Leone, taking the hit for her.

"No, Lydia! Stop!" Leone shouted.

"No!" Lydia shouted back. "I know people died, but you also saved people! People like my big sister! She was so sure she was going to die there, but you saved her! You're the reason she's still here with me!"

Another rock, this time intentionally thrown at Lydia.

Ralof raised his hand, catching it in his hand before it could hit her.

I looked over the crowd.

Some of the people standing on the outskirts looked disgusted, not with Leone, but with the mob that had formed. I realised that a lot of these were the people I actually recognized. People like Jon and Idolaf Battleborn, and Ysolda, and a fair amount of others. I could see on their faces that they _wanted_ to intervene, but something must've been stopping them.

And I felt the same.

I wanted to be over there.

I wanted to be in the middle of the crowd with my friends.

To face the crowd together with them.

But I couldn't get my legs to move.

But I could still move my mouth, and that was all I needed.

It was all I'd ever needed in situations like this.

"Heh…"

 _In theory, it is fairly simple to unify a group of individuals…_

"Heheheheheh!"

 _Even if they seem like they will continue to squabble with no end in sight…_

"Hahahahahahaha!"

 _They just need something to place them all on the same side…_

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

 _Above all, there is one concept that forces people to work together better than any other…_

"You guys are all such fucking idiots!"

 _A common enemy._

I looked over the crowd. It would seem that I'd managed to attract everyone's attention.

"Do you seriously think that these morons are smart enough to have something like 'self-preservation'?!"

My eyes flicked over to my friends. I could see their confused expressions.

"If they had their way, they would've run in and gotten themselves killed trying to protect everyone… Hell, without me, they probably wouldn't have even known what they were fighting! So thank every god that exists that I was there to save the day, and keep them away from danger, right?"

 _Why?_

"It was pretty difficult, but I was able to stall for long enough that I wouldn't be caught in the disaster that was the battle at the watchtower, and could wait until the fodder who were staying there were able to weaken it! And now, everyone will know exactly how big of a threat the dragons are, and will prepare accordingly! Now that everyone and their fucking _dogs_ will be ready and prepared to defend themselves, I'll never have to worry about danger from a dragon again!"

 _Why is it that this is the only solution we can ever come up with?_

The faces that had previously been expressing their rage at Leone and the rest of my friends had turned to me, and their anger only seemed to be growing.

"Now, don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm trying to protect these losers. It's just that I don't want you giving these fools the credit for _my_ master plan! After all, you don't credit the dumbass hauling the bricks to the building site when the building is done, right?"

 _Whenever the people we cared about were in trouble, why is this all we can ever do?_

I gave the mob a well-practised, disturbingly cruel looking sneer.

"You credit the architect…"

"YOU BASTARD!" One of the men in the crowd screamed, as he charged at me with a dagger.

Before he could reach me, I cast the spells I had been readying behind my back, and two ninjas leaped at the man, pinning him to the ground.

The man continued to struggle against my shadow clones, and stared up at me with tears running down his face.

"HOW?!" he shouted, as he tried to escape the shadow clones grips. "HOW CAN YOU BE SO CRUEL?!"

I kneeled down in front of him and stared directly into his eyes, the cruel sneer never leaving my face.

 _Why?_

"Years of practise."

I stood up and turned around, summoning another two shadow clones in the process, and calmly walked through the tavern part of the inn. As soon as I was out of anyone's sight, I ran up to our room, and grabbed all of my stuff.

Oddly, I noticed that there was something new.

Folded up on a chair beside my bag was a folded up cloak with a hood. It seemed slightly different to the cloaks from the frostfall mod though, in the fact that it looked like it could wrap around my whole body instead of just my back.

Something white fell from it as I held it up in front of me.

It was a small note, with the only words written on it being a small, neat 'Thank you.'

I put it in my bag. It would be helpful to have a way to hide my identity if word of this incident spread.

I walked out of the building, trying to appear calm.

The crowd was still outside, but it seemed like they were intimidated enough by my ability to summon powerful warriors at will that they decided against following me in.

I made sure to stretch casually as I exited the building.

"Man, it sure will be nice to get away from these morons though. Now that I won't need any meatshields, I feel it should be safe to get out there now."

I looked over at my friends. It wasn't hard to tell they were shocked. I'd really hoped they would see through it all, realise it was an act.

But they didn't.

No one ever did.

The expression of pure, unfiltered betrayal from Leone was probably the worst.

"Still, I should thank you!" I continued. "After all, I'm sure I wouldn't have made it anywhere _near_ this far if it weren't for you three! You were wonderful tools!"

And with that, I turned and began to walk towards the main gates of Whiterun.

I didn't get very far before I was interrupted, and turned back to see Leone behind me. She was in a similar posture to before, with her hair casting a shadow that made it difficult to see her expression.

She was trembling.

"Are you telling me that everything… Everything you said last night about worrying about us… Everything you said about us being your friends… Are you saying that those were all lies?"

I stared at her, letting the fake sneer change to a more apathetic expression.

"They were." I answered as calmly as I could. "I couldn't care less about any of you fools."

And as I walked towards the gate, the sounds I heard behind me told me that I wasn't the only person fighting back tears.


	12. The Journey After

**Hey guys, merry Christmas for however many days ago it was in your country, and happy new year for whenever it is for you!**

 **So I finally got this one out, after about a month of absolutely no ideas. I only came up with most of this chapter last night, so sorry for uploading so late, but know that I uploaded it as soon as I could.**

 **Now, I have something I want to ask you guys, because I feel like most of you would probably be able to figure it out. I was talking with one of my friends recently, and we started talking about how cool it would have been if in Fallout 3, you could convince The Mechanist and The Ant-agonizer to join you and start a cool superhero team like the avengers. This led to the topic on how the Lone Wanderer would have a superpower that fit in with both the canon of the universe and their circumstances with the story, and what that superpower would be. So what kind of superpower do** ** _you guys_** **think the Lone Wanderers superpower would be, keeping in mind the fact that he was living in a vault for most of his life. Tell me in your reviews!**

 **Also, just for the sake of variety, it would be best if it wasn't to similar to the abilities of other Fallout 3 characters...**

 **Now that I've gotten that out of the way, lets get to the story!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Skyrim, because I'm too busy trying to get the rights to Dragons Dogma, which I'm super excited for the new** ** _PC_** **release!**

 **Also, please review so I can use the comments to slowly convince people that fanfiction IS cool** ** _Dad!_**

* * *

 **Chapter 12: The Journey After**

I woke with a start.

What was that noise?

I looked around the snow-covered clearing I had set up camp in. There was definitely something there, and I hoped to god it wasn't another Manmoth.

"Master Joseph," I heard from beside me, "do you want me to go check it out?"

"Yes." I answered, as I turned to face the wooden soldier. "Take four and five with you too. If you it's human, try reasoning with them, and if that doesn't work, try to restrain them. If you feel like it poses a significant danger to you though, don't hold back."

"Yes sir!" The manikin said, before walking over to two other manikins around the fire.

I walked over to the campfire to sit down, most of my mind completely focused on the question of why these manikins, who are completely made out of wood, would decide to sit around the biggest danger to their entire being…

I was broken out of my thoughts by the sounds of fighting.

I looked to the area of forest the sounds were coming from, and I was able to see the figures of my manikins fighting… something…

And then a horde of draugr-like creatures burst from the trees.

They were completely unarmed, but they were fast, making it to the camp within a few seconds.

"SHIT!" I shouted, summoning two bound swords and leaping back into the woods as the other four manikin soldiers joined the three who were already fighting.

I sidestepped one of the draugr, which I remembered were actually creatures called Risen from a mod eloquently called 'ohcrapalypse', and swung my right sword at its neck. Thankfully, the risen were as weak as they were in the mod, with the main threat they represented being their large numbers. I doubted they'd be able to do too much harm to me…

And then one of them punched me directly in the nose.

"AH, SUD OB A BICH!" I shouted, dropping the sword in my left hand so I could hold it over my nose. "TAD SHID HURT ATHHOLE!"

I jumped backwards just as the mummified bastard tried to do it again, before swinging my sword up through its arm and kicking it away. I turned to face another, barely avoiding its lunge as I somehow managed to spin around its arm, and imbedded my remaining sword in the back of its skull.

The one that punched me ran at me along with a second one. I was able to trip one, which was totally on purpose SHUT UP, and step around it to clothesline the second one as it charged, before summoning two more swords and finishing them off mid fall, impaling them against the ground.

"Oh," I said, looking down at the two corpses that I'd effectively nailed to the ground, "it would appear that I'm getting awesomer. Well, better go help my poor soldiers."

I ran into the forest where my manikins had pushed the risen back to.

"Worry not peons! I am here to assi-…"

Instead of the epic battle I had been expecting to join, I emerged from the trees to see all seven manikin soldiers in the middle of a field of corpses, poking a single, dismembered yet still living risen with their weapons as it screeched and growled at them, bringing me a single, beautiful reminder from back home.

"But the risen are too skinny to have baby fat…" I mumbled.

"What was that, master?" Number three asked me, looking up from the raging undead creature.

"Nothing. Just a reminder of better times. Let's get back to the camp."

"Yes master." Three said, decapitating the risen with his sword as he got up.

I sighed in relief when we got back to the clearing, happy to see that there wasn't any real damage to the tent.

After a few seconds of appreciating that fact, I remembered something.

"Hey number six, could you go and collect the fallen souls from the risens corpses?"

"Right away master." He answered, running back into the woods.

Those souls would be helpful for later, when I inevitably sent more manikins back to Whiterun to mess with the armoury of fear and dark.

Of course, thinking about Whiterun just brought my mind back to the reason I was alone out here.

It had been about three weeks since I'd left Leone and the others, and set out on my own into the land of Skyrim.

I was beginning to regret what I'd done, or at least not telling Leone the plan, but in the end it was all for the best. If I _had_ explained everything to Leone and the others, I had no doubt in my mind that they'd try to stick around and help me anyway like the stupid, honour obsessed idiots they were. If that happened, and people saw them keep following me, then the entire plan would have been for nothing.

These fears were confirmed when, in an odd departure from the game, news of my actions had actually spread fairly quickly, with most people who had heard knowing me by one of two names.

The Architect, based on my speech in Whiterun, or the Faker, based on my betrayal.

I particularly liked the second one due to the fact that, although for fairly different reasons, the man I always modelled my character after also shared the same title.

Thankfully, there was one place that I knew would probably get a lot less news due to its poor, isolated state, or even if they had heard of me, they were less likely to know what I looked like _._

Winterhold.

And I had already planned to head there to increase my magical abilities too, so it worked out perfectly.

So, after a brief detour back to Riverwood to murder an evil witch, throw up in some nearby bushes, and steal her notes and research on the creation of semi-sentient wooden beings, I started heading to Winterhold.

Unfortunately, like many others, Jon the carriage guy had heard about what I had said in Whiterun and had refused to take me anywhere.

In fact, the only people who didn't completely shun me once I'd made it back from Anise's cabin were Alvor and his family, who somehow seemed to already have figured out what my plan had been.

Anyway, the point is, Jon didn't take me to Winterhold, which was why I was currently camping somewhere in the middle of the woods of Skyrim, alongside several manikin soldiers.

"Hey Three!" I shouted to the manikin, who I had a subtle feeling was growing to become my favourite of the seven. "Do you have any idea how far from Winterhold we are?"

"According to the map, it seems that we still have a day's walk before we get to the city!"

"Well, shit." I said bluntly.

In the distance, I heard the moans of a manmoth. I tried to pretend that they weren't rapidly increasing in volume, but then, when did that ever change _my_ luck?

0o0o0

A lot of screaming, fighting, crying and running later, I sat a fair distance from the actual, honest to god _crater_ that used to be my campsite.

The main reason I had abandoned my camp was the fact that it was in fact _multiple_ manmoths.

Twelve, to be precise.

The good news, however, was that from the hill I was currently standing on, I could see what I was pretty sure was Winterhold, having apparently running most of the distance in my pants-shitting terror.

But like usual, the good news paled in comparison to the bad news.

Also, that part about the multiple manmoths was _not_ the bad news.

The bad news was that, along with me and the three surviving manikins on the hill, there were a fair amount of anomalies.

Now, for those of you who never utilised the honestly kind of shitty magic system in Skyrim, and therefore never played through the College of Winterhold questline, anomalies are kind of like wisps, except they're caused by something with a giant, floating magical ball called the Eye of Magnus.

They're also invincible.

"You there! Run!"

I turned to see a figure running up the hill.

Not needing to be told twice, I signalled to my manikins to run and sprinted as fast as I could down the hill.

Unfortunately, due to my lower than average physical capabilities and the fact that I had recently run a distance that should have taken me a day to cover, I made it about ten metres before collapsing into the snow and rapidly rolling to the bottom.

As I rolled, the edges of my vision darkening, I noticed a few details of the figure that ran past me.

Things like how they had the Staff of Magnus, the one thing that could defeat anomalies, in one hand, and an ebony sword in the other, and that they were wearing both the arch-mages robes and Morokei, the dragon priest mask that you can only get in Labyrinthian late in the college questline.

All of this caused a single thought to flutter through my head before I lost consciousness.

 _Did I actually miss my chance AGAIN?_

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I was getting real tired of waking up to strange ceilings.

At least when I sat up this time, I didn't have to worry about opening up any old injuries.

Soreness, on the other hand…

When I finally managed to stop my shrieks of pain from all the muscles in my back clenching at once, I decided to see if I could turn my head without pain.

The answer was a very insistent NO.

After a second bout of pained screeching, I realised that this place wasn't so strange after all, noticing a large, light emitting well in the centre of the next room.

I was in the college of Winterhold.

"Wait FUCK!" I shouted suddenly. "Now I can't get the flame atronach in the entry test! I'll have to buy it at full price! FUCK!"

"Well well, isn't that interesting?"

I turned around to see the figure from before sitting in a chair next to the bed. From their voice, I could tell three things. The first was that I was pretty sure it was a female. The second was that she had a strong accent I couldn't quite recognize from the games. The third was that she sounded like she was teasing me, or was at least mildly amused by what had happened. I couldn't really figure out anything else thanks to the obscuring nature of her clothes. Still, I needed information on the situation, so I decided to take a leap of faith.

"I'm guessing you're the Arch-mage?"

"Right you are," she replied, "although I was only recently promoted to the position when my predecessor was killed. But more importantly, you've caught my interest. What exactly is it you were doing all the way out here, Mr Faker?"

I swore inwardly.

"You know?"

"Of course I know!" She said dismissively, as if my attempts to hide my identity never stood a chance against her in the first place. "I've had my eyes on you for a while now, ever since you parted ways with the dragonborn, as matter of fact."

"You were watching us?" I asked, tensing up. All the muscles I had apparently pulled running from the manmoths made sure that I instantly regretted it, but I managed to hold it in.

"Don't try it." She said, all the amusement from before leaving her voice. "I can guarantee you that I heavily outclass you, both in magical and martial abilities, and I will _not_ hesitate to kill you if you become violent."

We stared at each other, although her mask definitely did a better job of being intimidating than me…

"Fine." I said finally, trying to relax a bit. "So who are you anyway? If you want me to trust you, never showing me your face is a pretty crappy way to go about it…"

"Oh!" She said in a surprised voice. "I forgot about that. Hold on, let me get this damned mask off."

And I stared into the face that emerged, newly realised horror sending chills through my entire body.

"I am Arch-mage Sofia. Nice to meet you, Mr Faker!"

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Of all the fucking mods that could have had such a heavy impact on the events of the world, why did it have to be the one with _SOFIA_.

For those of you who don't know the Sofia mod, she's a follower, and honestly not a very good person. One of her hobbies is essentially to torment men using her looks, which are admittedly quite nice, and her skills at manipulation, which where amazing.

Sure, at times, she might seem like a good person, and I'm pretty sure she at least tries to work on her shittiness in the game, but she still seems to lapse into being shitty from time to time.

Time to time meaning that the chances of her trying to manipulate someone into doing something horrible are essentially fifty fifty.

On the other hand though, she had no carry weight limit, so she was instantly one of the greatest companions I'd ever downloaded.

"Are you alright in there Mr Faker?" Sofia asked in obvious fake concern. "I mean, I know I'm attractive, but you've been staring at me for at least five minutes now, and you haven't blinked either…"

"Sofia…"

"Yeeeeeeesss?"

"Weren't you meant to get kicked out of the College of Winterhold? Something about a spell which made other people naked?" I asked, grasping at one of the few memories I could actually find through the ever-present layer of 'ITS SOPHIA, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE, BEFORE SHE DOES SOMETHING SOFIA-LIKE' that came with the task of interacting with her.

"Ah, memories…" She said, seemingly drifting into her own little world for a second, before looking back at me. "That was the plan… Well, not the getting kicked out part, but the prank… Anyway, just before I finally unleashed it upon the world, something happened that made me realise how stupid it would be to endanger my chances here."

Her eyes lost their softness, shifting from the happy-go-lucky expression that she usually wore to a much harder, more piercing look.

"I learned how to create aurum based spells, which no one else has accomplished in over a century."

Oh.

Wow.

It looks like things are changing, and very rapidly getting out of control.

And now, out of all the people who could have obtained that amazing power, _Sofia_ was the one and only person who could utilise Midas magic other than me.

Wait, would I even have the ability to use it? What if it was like the dragonborn situation, and only a single, specific person.

"AAAAARRGGHH!" I shouted in frustration. It was all so confusing, and now I might have lost one of the only other possibilities to become powerful enough to survive.

Sofia, seemingly unfazed by my outburst, just sat there.

"But still, you are an interesting one, aren't you?" She said with a smug voice which did _not_ help my mood. "You know about the test we have people take before they can enter the college, despite never having been here before, you know something from my past which almost _no one_ else knows, and those people know better than to bring it up, and I even managed catch you murmuring the name of the staff I wielded last night, despite its specific identity being a well-guarded College secret."

She suddenly leaned in closer, causing me to almost fall out of my bed as I flinched back.

What she whispered next however caused me to freeze in place.

"And you use curse-words from another world entirely!"

"What did you ju-" I started, but she was already out of the door, giggling the entire way.

For a few moments, I just sat there, frozen in place.

"Damn it…" I finally said, looking down at my clenched hands.

I really should have expected this to happen…

After all, her skills in the arts of manipulation _were_ amazing…

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

Shortly after Sofia left, I decided to try and get some more sleep.

These attempts were interrupted part way through when three blurry smudges entered my room.

"Master, are you alright?"

"Oh." I mumbled in surprise, not quite recognizing them beforehand due to being half-asleep again. "You guys, I was worried that something would have happened to you three."

"Something almost did, master." Six answered. "Thankfully, we were saved when the arch-mage used her staff to defeat the anomalies somehow."

"She absorbed the magic they were made up of." I informed the manikin. "Her staff, the staff of Magnus, has the ability to absorb magicka from just about anything."

"I see." Four said. "That is a terrifying concept."

"It probably won't be the only terrifying thing about her…" I said grimly.

"Oh, do you know her, master?" Three asked.

"Kind of…" I replied. "It's kind of complicated…"

"Ah," he said, "an ex-lover?"

"Never say that again." I replied almost instantly, before thinking of something else. "And don't ever say anything like that when she's around."

"Oh, but I'm so flattered!" A voice came from just outside my door.

"You're still there?!" I shouted in a combination of surprise and fear. "Why?! You weren't planning to do something to me in my sleep were you?"

"Of course I wasn't!" She said as she walked back into the doorway.

And then she winked.

"No. Stop. Don't wink when you say that." I said.

"I don't know what you're talking about…"

Wink.

"It's not like I was planning to sneak into your room while you're sleeping.…"

Wink.

"And perform horrifying yet pleasurable experiments on your sleeping body!"

WINK.

"Please leave my room…" I said, shaking in fear.

"Sure…" She said. "But tomorrow, I want you to come and speak to me. I'll tell you what you want to know…"

She left the room again, leaving me, Three, Four and Six to stare in horror.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

I found myself the next day, freezing my ass off as I walked the _tiny_ distance from the Hall of Attainment to the Hall of the Elements.

I had hoped that of all places, the college would be one of the places that were larger than in the game.

And it was.

But only by a tiny amount.

Tiny to the point where it might as well not even have mattered.

Which was bullshit.

As I walked through the door, panic began to set in.

Sofia was close.

I could feel it.

I was instantly on high alert, quickly looking in as many directions as possible. Where would she come from?

"Heeee~eeey…"

I shrieked and turned to stare behind me. Sure enough, she was standing right there in the doorway.

Neither of us spoke, and I even forgot about the cold for about a minute.

"… When did you get behind me?"

"Wouldn't you like to know…" She said, as she walked past me into the large atrium. "Now, come with me."

I followed her up the stairs, and we emerged into the arch-mages quarters. As soon as we got in, she shut the door and turned to face me.

"Alright, no one should overhear us in here. Now, I'm fairly sure you understood the things I was saying yesterday."

"I did." I answered. "But I'm wondering just how much you know about this situation…"

"Well," she said, bringing her hand to her chin in a mock thinking pose, "I know that you're from another world, known by your people as 'Earth', which is a boring-ass name by the way. I know that in Earth, everything about Tamriel is a fictional universe created for some form of interactive story you call a 'videogame'. I know that until recently, you were a companion of the most recent dragonborn, Leone Vallius…"

She walked further into the room, and turned back to face me.

"And I know that you're not the first person this has happened to."

"Wait, what?!" I shouted.

There were others?

This could change everything.

How many were there?

How could I find them?

…

Could they help me get back home?

"How?" I asked her. "How do you know all of this?"

She grinned in a way that put even _my_ creepy grins to shame.

"Let me introduce you to my teacher, and he can tell you himself!"

A teacher?

There was someone from Earth here in the college?

I looked around, but couldn't see anyone.

 _Hey Joey. I think I might have a theory…_

"Yeah?"

"What?" Sofia asked when I spoke.

"Oh, nothing…" I replied, too tired from everything I had learned to bother explaining the whole 'I-have-another-personality-in-my-head-and-he's-kind-of-an-asshole-who-keeps-interupting-my-thoughts-at-the- _worst_ -possible-times' thing.

"Oh well," she said before inner me could continue, "it probably doesn't matter anyway."

Before I could respond, she walked over to a long cabinet and opened it, revealing it to be full of long, wrapped up objects that looked like they were probably staffs. She rummaged through the staffs, before finally lifting one out with a grunt of success.

"Ah, hear we are!"

She turned to face me again, the staff-like-object in her arms.

"Now, before I set up this meeting, I'm going to have to ask something of you in return…"

 _Say no Joey! Get away from her before she ropes you into something stupid!_

"Fine."

 _WHY?! NOW WE'RE BOTH FUCKED!_

'Oh, stop worrying.' I thought to myself. 'She may be bad, but I'm sure it won't be _too_ terrible.'

"I want to officially make you my apprentice."

 _See? SEE?! I hope you're willing to be the one in control when she gives up pretending they're experiments and just gives in to her horrifying sadistic impulses, 'cause I sure as hell won't be!_

She must have noticed the slight trembling that had started, or maybe how pale I had gone, because she decided to clarify slightly.

"Throughout the time I was spying on you, I saw that you seem to not only _like_ magic, you also seem to like the idea of _experimenting_ in the field of magic to improve your own capabilities. This is the exact mindset that I've wanted in my students. Innovation could help save the image of magic held by the nords."

She looked up to the side for a second, as if she was remembering something else.

"And, I guess I also want to use the knowledge from your world for my own benefit. Now, if you accept this proposition, I'll introduce you to my teacher, who was once in your position, and is now even more powerful than I am."

She remembered something else, as I continued to tremble in fear.

"And… I suppose I won't perform any awesome experiments on you unless you agree to do so…" She sighed.

"Done!" I said quickly, before she could change her mind. "Now, I'm eager to meet your teacher. Is he close?"

"Heh…" She laughed, before performing a spell I'd never seen on the staff. "Not at all…"

And then she slammed the bottom of the staff into the ground, causing a strange, purplish sphere to expand out from it.

"Hey, Harry!" Sofia shouted into the sphere. "I've got the kid in here, so come and explain everything to him!"

"Ah, I see!" A familiar voice emerged from the sphere, and the pieces began to fall into place in my head. "I'm coming!"

"It's… It's you…" I said, as I realised what was going on.

"Yes, ME!" The voice shouted, as the outline of a person began to appear in the sphere. "Of course, that's only _one_ of the many names I've gone by."

The figure became more defined, as if he was walking towards me through thick mist.

"There's Homicidal Maniac, Dragon Warrior, Snake Eyes…"

Yellow eyes became visible, shining from the purple sphere.

"Defender of the Last Septim, Archmage of the Mages Guild, Master of the Fighters Guild…"

I could make out his posture now, and it was… surprisingly badass considering who it was.

"Some call me God. Some call me Truth. I am all, and I am one."

The figure finally emerged from the portal, wearing a costume which was purple on one side and red on the other. White hair and a feral grin confirmed my theory.

"Most people just call me 'The Hero of Kvatch', or 'The Lord of the Shivering Isles', but you, my friend, can call me Harry King, the Fourth Being."


	13. Revelations

**Hey everyone, guess who's back!**

 **The answer is me. I'm back. I don't have a whole lot of excuses for this being so late, but it was essentially due to a toxic combination of getting my wisdom teeth out, writers block, and a whole lot of Dragons Dogma on PC.**

 **But I'm here now, with a triumphant return in the form of a chapter which may or may not be incredibly subpar because I wrote most of it fairly late at night, when my natural inhibitors fail me, and my writing essentially becomes literary diarrhoea. You're welcome for the mental image by the way.**

 **Anyway, tell me if you like it. Also tell me if you don't like it. Just because I hunted some people down and burnt down their houses, it doesn't mean I** ** _hate_** **criticism…**

 **Also, don't forget to tell me if you can figure out a canonically accurate superpower for the Lone Wanderer from Fallout 3. I have a few ideas, but I could do with more. And remember that this is a guy who spent almost his entire life isolated from radiation.**

 **Also, and this might come as a bit of a shock to some of you, but I've decided to start a new story on this site. "What?!" I hear you shouting at your computer as if I can actually hear you, "But you can barely keep your current piece of crap regularly updated!" And my answer to that is that you should stop shouting at your computer screen. I can't hear you, and it makes you look weird.**

 **Anyway, the story is a fanfiction of the classic webseries by Rooster Teeth, RWBY. For those of you who haven't skipped this stupidly long author's note, check it out!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Skyrim. I don't have any jokes for you this chapter either- *Dodges thrown bottle* C'mon, I'm sorry! Next time, I promise!**

* * *

 **Chapter 13: Revelations**

I stared.

Sheogorath stared.

Sofia stared.

"… How many of those nicknames are actually real?" I asked. "Not including the ones from Fullmetal Alchemist…"

"Just the first three," he replied, "but I'm glad to see I was right about you being an anime fan."

"Oh please," I said, "I based my entire fighting style off of Archer from Fate/Stay Night. I even said 'trace on'. It shouldn't exactly difficult."

"Are these more references to those stories you told me, Harry?"

Ah, that's right, Sofia was still there.

I was both embarrassed and slightly terrified to admit to myself that I'd forgotten she was there when Sheogorath appeared.

The terror was mostly from the fact that you should _never_ let yourself be unaware that you're in Sofia's presence…

Especially if you just did something stupid like sign your life away to her like _ItotallyjustdidohfuckOHFUCK!_

As the full ramifications of what I'd just done hit me like a fucking truck, I was vaguely aware that they were still continuing the conversation.

"Ah, yeah." Sheogorath said. "Wait, did I ever tell you the story of the fifth Holy Grail War?"

"Yeah, don't you remember?" she asked. "And then you went all pale when I mentioned how Caster was my new hero?"

"Ah, that's right!" He said, before giving off a hearty laugh.

And I'm pretty sure that's when I came to understand that things were probably actually going to be _worse_ than before _…_

Someone who was already dangerously close to being batshit insane just casually said that someone like _Caster_ was their hero, and it gets a _FUCKING CHUCKLE._

Then again, this is Sheogora- _No, we are not justifying that bullshit! We're need to get the fuck out of here, right now!_

"They've been watching us, remember?!" I furiously whispered to my mind, once again completely forgetting that I really didn't need to do that. "Do you really think we can get away from them, even _if_ one of them wasn't a _daedric fucking prince?!"_

"Man, you really need to work on talking to that split personality thing _inside_ your head…" Sofia chimed in.

 _Holy shit man, she knows! How the fuck does she know?!_

"Once again," I sighed, not even bothering to whisper now that I knew she knew, "probably because she's been watching us since… When did you start?"

"Since you killed that Dunmer in the Akaviri hideout."

"Jesus, that long?" I asked in surprise. I figured it would be Riverwood _at most._

"Yep! You have an adorable cry by the way, it sounds like a sneezing puppy!"

"Is this when he was in the Sleeping Giant? I was there for that too!" Sheogorath chimed gleefully. "It's all true! And then when it gets louder it starts to sound like that sneezing baby panda from that Youtube video!"

"Please stop it."

"Fine, fine… I suppose we have more important matters to discuss anyway…" He said, before taking a more serious expression. "Now, let's talk about why you're here."

"Right." I said, thankful to get off the previous topic. "I need to learn more about magic."

"Well, that was a given." He started. "I know what you want to do, but unfortunately it's a lot more difficult than you think. Even _I've_ been having trouble with creating portals back ho-"

"I need to get stronger." I continued. "Strong enough to help Leone and the others against the threats they're going to be facing."

There was a pause, as Sheogorath and Sofia both looked at me in confusion.

"What?" He asked.

"Well, I know you've already seen that I'm completely amazing," I began, "but to be honest, I'm actually kind of weak as shit, Most of my wins were only either through pure luck, or using the people around me to springboard myself to victory. I came here because I'm sure that the college would have been conducting studies on all the stuff from the mods to become even more powerfu-"

"MODS!" Sheogorath shouted suddenly, nearly making me shit myself.

Even Sofia seemed to jump a bit.

"I knew it!" He continued. "I knew Bethesda wouldn't have made a deal like that, even if it was with a group as popular as Shonen Jump!"

"Wait, what are you talking abo-" I started to ask.

And then I remembered.

"DAMN IT!" I screamed in frustration. "I TOTALLY FUCKING FORGOT!"

I had the Naruto Jutsu mod installed.

If I had even some of the lowest level spells from that mod, I probably would have been able to completely fuck those manmoths up.

"What? What's wrong? I'm confused. Someone explain it to me." Sofia asked, not actually sounding that confused.

"Remember when I told you the tale of Naruto when you were a kid, and how we recently found out that a bunch of actual Shinobi were hiding behind the waterfall in Riverwood?" Sheogorath asked her.

"Yeah?"

"Well that was probably THIS guys fault!"

"Wait, how is that possible?" She asked, in a tone that conveyed actual confusion this time. "We found them a year ago, and they've apparently been here for at least fifty years before that, or at least the first one was. How could he have affected Nirn like that before he had even arrived here?"

"Well, do you remember what I said when I first told you that this universe was part of a game in my world, which ran on a huge number of specific lines of code?" He asked, getting a nod from Sofia in response. "Well, there were these people, called modders, who knew how to alter, add to, and create entirely new lines of those codes, to change the aspects of the game. I'm assuming that you downloaded those mods, rather than make them yourself, right?"

"Yeah…" I answered glumly. "I'm nowhere near smart enough to be a modder…"

"Exactly." He said, before turning back to Sofia. "So he obtained alterations which he could apply to the code, and in doing so, he was able to alter multiple aspects of the world before he even entered it!"

"I… See…" Sofia said slowly. "I'll have to interrogate you about that later. Now, we seem to have gotten off topic, so let's return to the previous conversation. You seemed fairly surprised about that, Harry…"

"Hmm? Oh right!" He shouted, having apparently forgotten how we had gotten onto the topic of mods. "So you're saying that you want to learn how to utilise magic for combat?"

"Well, I wouldn't say it's _only_ for combat…" I said. "Anything that could help me against whatever I'm likely to face here, and help me assist Leone, Hadvar, Ralof, and Lydia, even if it's just from the shadows."

There was another moment of silence, before Sheogoraths figure began to shift slightly.

Then I heard it.

Those deep, powerful chuckles.

It was nothing like his usual, mindless laughter of pure whimsy, or even the relatively normal laughter that he'd been letting off throughout the previous conversation.

No, this was the laughter of someone who had spent two hundred years as a being who completely outclassed almost every single entity around them.

This was the laughter of a _god._

"Well…" He said, grinning all the while. "You _are_ an interesting one…"

He looked over to Sofia, who was giving me a similar look.

"It looks like this kid will make a decent apprentice for you, Sofi!" He said. "Let's be sure to teach him everything he'll need to know!"

"Oh, you're joining in, Harry?" She asked, although she sounded like she already knew he would.

"Of course I will!" He said happily. "He _is_ my adorable little kohai after all!"

As Sheogorath, daedric prince of madness called me his 'adorable little kohai', I thought I saw a brief glimpse of what my life could have been, quickly followed by a brief glimpse of what my life was likely to _actually_ be like from this point on.

I began to sob slightly, as I submitted to my new life under these two.

"Heh!" Sheogorath laughed again. "Seriously, just like a newborn puppy…"

o0.:.0o

 _You're a fucking idiot._

"You're not gonna stop with this, are you?" I asked, as we walked back to the Hall of Attainment.

 _You just sold our soul to two of the most terrifyingly insane people in this universe. You're damned right I'm not going to stop._

"Well what else could I do, huh?" I asked, getting more and more frustrated. "Despite my best efforts, it seems like almost everyone in Skyrim has heard about what I did in Whiterun, and a decent amount of them recognize me too!"

 _It's because of that damned cloak. She must have mentioned it when you left, because now it's become part of your image. We should just get rid of the damn thing right now!_

"No." I said, hoping that I was firm enough to end that argument right here and now.

It didn't take too long for me to figure out that the cloak had come from Leone. I'd already seen the handwriting of both Hadvar and Ralof, and I couldn't really think of anyone else who would have wanted to thank me.

That was why, no matter how difficult it would make things in the future, I just couldn't bring myself to get rid of it.

Even if they hated me, even if they continued to hate me for the rest of their lives, there was a short period of time when Leone, Hadvar and Ralof _cared_ about me.

I didn't want to ever forget that fact, and this cloak was a good reminder of what I was fighting for.

 _Ok, I'll admit, those were some pretty good points._ The voice said, reminding me that it could hear all of my inner monologues. _Still, even if it is a reminder, even_ you _have to admit that it is hindering our progress. If we want to keep helping them from the shadows, having everyone recognise us will definitely not help. I'm not saying get rid of the cloak, but I do think that you need to get a new outfit that people won't associate with us._

"Yeah, I guess you're right…" I conceded, as I made it to the room I had been assigned.

"Ah, master, how was the meeting?" Number Three asked when he noticed my return.

"Hellish." I responded, sitting on my bed. "I essentially sold my soul to that woman..."

"Wow," a voice came from the doorway, "what in Sheogorath's name would have compelled you to do something like that?"

I looked to the doorway to see a familiar figure standing there. I couldn't quite remember his name though. On- something.

"He himself, if you would believe it…" I answered, deciding to leave the task of figuring out his name for later, and instead focusing on how weird it was that he managed to hit the nail directly on the head.

"Oh, don't worry about that…" He said. "It may not be very well known outside the college, but almost everyone in here knows about Old Sheo… I'm surprised that you would do something as stupid as sell your soul to him and the Archmage though. Don't you know anything about Sheogorath?"

"More than most actually…" I replied. "That may actually be the cause of the problem in the first place…"

"You know what?" He asked. "I'm not even going to ask what you mean by that, and get straight to the point. The Archmage asked me to come and get you. Follow me."

I sighed in defeat. She wasn't even going to let me get some rest before the training from hell began…

"Alright, fine," I sighed "where are we going?"

"The Midden."

 _Nope. It's already too much. Abort the mission, get the hell out of there!_

"Don't worry," he said when he saw my face, "Sofia told me you had some fairly outdated knowledge of the college's layout, but the midden is a lot nicer than it used to be."

Considering the fact that these people have apparently been hanging around Sofia _and_ Sheogorath for a while now, I wasn't too reassured. If they had been corrupted by the two, then there ideas of what was 'nice' were probably a hell of a lot different to a normal persons.

 _Nice for them is probably a built in arena to battle monsters constantly…_ The voice in my head said as we crawled through the hatch that lead down there.

The fact that one of the first rooms I saw had a nicely engraved sign that said _BATTLE ARENAS_ in big letters did not help my nerves.

"Alright, it's just through here."

I sighed again.

I was probably doing that too much recently, but that came with the people I was dealing with.

And then I walked through the door, only to see a bunch of people, some who I recognised, and some I didn't, all gathered around a large dining table in a room that was admittedly very nice.

"Ah, Joseph, you're here!"

I looked up to see Sheogorath, laughing amongst all the students and teachers, wobbling very dangerously next to a large fireplace at the back of the room.

"Hey Joseph, over here!" Sofia shouted, patting at a free chair next to her. "Come and drink with us!"

And I think that was the moment when I realised how drunk she was.

Well, how drunk _everyone_ was.

It's just that with everyone else, it wasn't too bad when I noticed, and with her, every single survival instinct I had screamed along with the voice in my head to leave this place and learn magic somewhere safer.

Like Miraak's followers over on Solstheim. They seemed like a nice, less-likely-to-accidentally/totallynotaccidentaly-brutally-murder-me alternative.

Because even if I may not have mentioned this in the past, this woman fucking terrifies me.

"Sorry Joey, but you aren't running away from this one!"

I turned to the doorway I had just walked through, only to see Sheogorath grinning back at me.

A few moments passed, with the only sounds coming from the very, _very_ drunk crowd behind me, who were all watching on in anticipation.

"Weren't you standing over there just a second ago?" I asked, pointing back over my shoulder.

"I was, but you're forgetting that I'm essentially a god…"

"Ah, of course." I sighed, beginning to give up on my plans to escape. "Hey man, level with me here. Am I going to die tonight?"

Naturally, he took way too long to give me an answer.

"Weeeeeellllllllll… I think you should be safe for tonight."

"Oh, great. Thanks."

o0.:.0o

The next day, I was heading down to the Midden, where my first 'lesson' was meant to take place.

I could only thank god that I wasn't hungover or anything from the previous night, like I was almost sure was their plan.

Thank god I find most forms of alcohol to be bitter and gross.

"Ah, there you are." Sheogorath's voice came from off to my left. "Here, follow me into the training areas."

I turned to see where he was going, only to see that he was heading into the room I saw the previous day, with the nice sign that said _BATTLE ARENAS._

"Don't worry…" He said, having apparently noticed that I had started trembling again. "We won't have you battling anything today. We'll be using one of the training arenas."

I sighed in relief. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

 _It's a daedric lord, and probably one of the ones most well-known for fucking with people, and Sofia. Why are you letting your guard down?_

And once again, the voice in my head completely destroyed any chance I had of relaxing.

We entered the room, and I was surprised to see that it was actually a long corridor, with a series of doors leading to what I could only assume were all arenas.

"The doors on the left lead to actual battle arenas," Sheogorath began explaining to me, "and the ones on the right lead to training arenas. Each training arena is designed and built to be identical to the battle arena across from it, allowing our students to train for multiple different scenarios."

"That's… actually kind of brilliant…" I said, confused at how rational that was, especially seeing as, since the midden was definitely not like this in the game, I had to assume it was Sheogorath and Sofia who did all of it.

"You seem to be under the impression that just because I'm the god of madness, I'm unable to show any intelligence in the areas I pursue…" He said. "But don't forget that I was the leader of four major organisations throughout Cyrodiil, _and_ the leader of an entire kingdom."

"Four?" I asked. There were definitely more than just four factions in oblivion, even if you just counted the ones you could lead if you counted Knights of the Nine. Which would he ski-

"Oh, right." I said, already figuring out the answer.

"Yeah," he sighed, "in the end, I just couldn't bring myself to work with the dark brotherhood when it all became real. Even with everyone else I'd killed, they had always been dangerous to others. The people the dark brotherhood sent you after though, they were almost always innocent people…"

After that, we continued to walk on in silence, until he stopped at one of the doors.

"Alright, we'll be training in here today." He said, and ushered me in.

I walked in to see that it was a large, round room, as most arenas generally were. The ground was uneven and rocky, but it seemed like that was intentional, and there were multiple podiums with soul gems on them, like the ones that shot spells at you in some dungeons.

"Oh good, you made it in time!" Sofia shouted from across the room, startling the shit out of me in the process. "I was afraid you wouldn't get up in time, considering how you were when we watched you trying to get up…"

"It's ok Joseph." Sheogorath said, patting me on the shoulder. "I was like that when I first got here too, but eventually you get use to the lack of alarm clocks, and it all gets easier…"

Naturally, this did absolutely nothing for my efforts to get over the lack of modern technology.

"Anyway," Sofia said loudly, breaking me out of my thoughts, "let's begin your first lesson by improving on your specialty."

"My specialty?"

"Yeah, your specialty. Bound weapons _are_ all you use most of the time, so I figure we can start on that, and then branch out with the knowledge you have of it. Does that sound good to you?"

"Y-… Yeah…" I said, after taking a moment to get over my surprise at hearing _Sofia_ of all people talking like a real, sensible adult, let alone a teacher…

"Good." She said, nodding. "Now, tell me the main concept of modern bound weapons spells, and the main difference between them and the previous iteration of bound weapon spells from the Third Era."

"Well," I started, thinking back to the spell tomes I had read over the past few weeks, "it's essentially a completely different concept than it used to be. While the bound weapon spells from the Third Era used to involve actually summoning and materializing a proper, physical weapon from a plane of oblivion itself, the bound weapon spells we use now involve channelling energy from Aetherius, visualising a specific form for the energy to take, and then moulding the energy into that form. This process actually takes less magicka to cast then the old version, while still managing to replicate similar properties, making it much more popular than the old process."

"Very good." She said. "It seems you _do_ have a good understanding of it. Of course, these are only the basic levels of the technique, and it still seems to take a while when you tried to cast it in the past, but don't worry. We'll have you casting a lot faster before too long. Now, I want you to do what you would normally do when you cast bound sword, but hold your hand out in front of you, and instead of channelling the energy into the shape of a weapon, I want you to let it spread out in front of you, like you're pushing out a wall of energy. I also want you to keep channelling the energy into the shield, or else it will dissipate from the lack of proper form."

"Alright." I said, before working through the visualisation process in my mind. Once I had done that, I followed her instructions and began to channel the energy into a wall in front of me.

"Good job." She said once I had finished, before walking over to one of the podiums with a petty soul gem floating over it and moving her hand past it, causing it to glow slightly. "Ok, now try and block this."

"Wait, wha-" I began to ask, when a small ball of fire shot out of the soul gem at me.

I flinched, sure I was about to get burned, but instead, all I felt was a weak jolt in my arm, like when you get shocked by static electricity.

I slowly opened my eyes to see that the fireball was nowhere to be seen, and Sofia and Sheogorath gave me an approving look.

"Alright Joseph, stop casting." Sofia said.

I did as she asked, and she walked back over to me, slapping a hand down on my shoulder.

"Congratulations," she said, "you just learned the first fundamental steps of creating wards."

"Wait, aren't wards part of Restoration, and not Conjuration?" I asked in confusion.

"That's true, but back when I was first creating wards, I was basing it off my experimental bound weapons spells, so I was still using conjuration."

I turned to look at Sheogorath, surprised.

"What?" He asked. "I was the Archmage for about seventy years, and it's not like I could waste _all of them…"_

Huh.

That was actually quite an interesting development…

"So, most of the magic that changed between games…"

"Was probably my doing, yes." Sheogorath answered.

I began trembling.

"And the fact that everything had become extremely simplified, to the point where there were only a few spells for each school of magic?"

"Yeah," he sighed, "I've been meaning to rectify that problem, but that was my fault too."

"And the fact that you can't make your own spells anymore?" I asked through gritted teeth, my right eye beginning to twitch.

"You can't make custom spells anymore?!" He asked, looking back to me in a mix of shock and horror.

This was probably when he noticed how angry I had suddenly become.

"Oh, just stop before you hurt yourself." He said, waving his hand dismissively. "I'm a god, remember? I could defeat you easil-"

And then he was on the ground.

I have to admit, punching a daedric prince probably wasn't the best decision I'd ever made, but I was a little too pissed to care.

"You enormous asshat!" I shouted. "You're the reason my game was so boring! If I didn't install the mods to add more magic, I would be fucked right now!"

"You just punched me…"

I barely even noticed him speak as I continued my rant.

"What do you think would've happened to me if I had to survive in this place with the magic in the vanilla game?! There's like five spells! People would figure out how to get around them eventually!"

"… A being of almost limitless power…"

"I can't even make my own spells! It was _literally_ one of the worst changes that could've occurred, and it was your fault?!"

And that's when _I_ noticed the look on _his_ face.

The air began to feel suspiciously heavy, as I saw his expression.

It was a really, _really_ fucking creepy smile.

"Oh, I _do_ like you…"

"Anyway," Sofia said, reminding me that I had once again forgotten her presence, "now that I've passed on enough knowledge for you to survive even the _toughest_ enemies,"

"Wait, what do you mean?" I asked. "We've had one les-"

"We're going to go on a little 'excursion' to locate and obtain a powerful source of magic!"

"You know, I really wish people would stop cutting me o-"

"Now tell me, Joseph," she said, leaning in far too close, "have you ever heard rumour that some of the Dwemer are still alive on one of our moons?"

As soon as that left her mouth, all the calm, reassuring delusions that learning magic from Sofia and Sheogorath might have been a safe, viable course of action shattered and died.

I looked between the inquisitive smirk on Sofia's face and the horrifying grin on Sheogorath's, and a short, high-pitched whine came out of my mouth.

'Oh god,' I thought in horror, 'is this what it feels like to be the sanest person in a room?'

It was the worst fate I could have ever experienced, a complete reversal of my character.

In this group, _I_ was the straight man.


	14. Ghosts of Masser

**Hey everybody. I'm back. Sorry I took so long to update, but I was distracted by the sultry sounds of Gideon Emery's voice as Balthier, the suavest badass out of any game I've ever played, including Persona 4.**

 **Anyway, enough about my gushing, this chapter took a long time to get through. Not entirely sure why, but I just found that it sucked the motivation out of me for a while, kind of like when I played the mod in the actual game. That being said, I found out that I work best when I'm not meant to be, because I went from just over 3000 words to nearly 9000 in my class today, which is oddly impressive for me, considering the fact that the class is only two and a half hours, and is not yet over as I write this authors note.**

 **Also, in a rather common lapse of memory, I forgot to tell you my fairly shameless new year's resolution, which is to get this story on TV Tropes before the year is over. I doubt it will actually happen, and honestly find it more likely that my shameless way of trying to make it happen will piss of the people who actually** ** _are_** **reading my stuff, but you know, might as well try.**

 **Oh, and before I also forget** ** _this_** **again, I'm just gonna say thank you to Gensh, because while I did have the story in my head for a while, I probably wouldn't have been brave enough to write and upload it here if I'd never read his awesome story, 'Why can't I just take the ring after I fight Artorias?'.**

 **I feel like I'm probably forgetting something else important that I was going to mention in this authors note, but I'll get to it next time, so for now, enjoy this surprisingly long new chapter!**

 **Also, please review, because I think I might be suffering from withdrawal symptoms after the last month and a half.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the elder scrolls series, otherwise I would probably be considered successful by the people around me. I don't actually think that counts as a joke. Whoops.**

* * *

 **Chapter 14: Ghosts of Masser**

Three weeks and a _lot_ of preparation later, I found myself standing in the middle of a small cavern, freezing my ass off, as the Sofia talked with the hologram in front of us.

The Dwemer hologram.

I couldn't remember much about the Dwemertech mod, because it had been a fairly long time since I had played it last.

What I _did_ remember, was that I didn't enjoy it very much.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I thought it was a good mod. It's just the fact that whenever I can't leave an area, I tend to get bored and frustrated no matter _how_ good it is, like Mothership Zeta in Fallout 3, and Big MT in New Vegas.

That being said, the main reason I wasn't a huge fan of it was because I found it too hard a lot of the time, and that was while it was just a _game._

The man finished talking and vanished, leaving Sofia to turn around to talk to me.

"Alright, so you're _absolutely sure_ that they're going to attack us?"

"Yeah." I answered. "That guy won't though. He might later, but if he does, it will be because the guy in charge is controlling him. Also, we should probably buy some things from him so we can make some dwemertech spells before we talk to the leader, because it's going to take a while to get back there."

"Good call." She said, before turning and walking further into the cavern.

Before too long, we found ourselves at a small but high cliff, where a small, disk-like shuttle floated down towards us.

And everything went black before I even realized what had happened.

00000

"-ake yet?" I heard dimly. "Joseph?"

No. Shut up. This is probably the most decent sleep I've had since I got here.

"I know you're awake. I can see your eyes twitching." Sofia continued.

 _Ignore her. You need this._

See Sofia? Even Inner-Joseph agrees, and he's insanely paranoid about ninety percent of the time! If he thinks its fine, what could possibly go wrong?

"Huh. I guess he really is still unconscious…" She said. "Well then, I guess I should get some experiments done now while he won't noti-"

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" I shrieked, leaping off the stone bed I had been lying on.

"Oh, good, you're awake!" Sofia said with a grin, ignoring the look of outright terror on my face.

"You promised you wouldn't do that!" I shouted, desperately trying to keep any signs of vulnerability off my face.

I realised it wasn't working when I began to feel the tears running down my cheeks.

"Yeah," she said, shrugging her shoulders, "but you're just too interesting. Besides, all I'm asking for is _one_ measly liver… You can make do without them!"

"No I can't!" I cried. "It's kind of an essential organ! Especially with the amount of alcohol you've been forcing me to drink for all of those damn pseudo-kidnappings you've performed on me!"

"Brainstorming sessions." She said, as if she was correcting a simple mistake. "I needed to make sure you were thinking outside the box for our plans, and alcohol was the perfect way to do that. Also, I needed to make sure you weren't hiding any important information from me."

"Do you really think I'm stupid enough to hide something from you of all people, let alone _brave_ enough?!"

"… Fair enough…"

"So… I'm going to assume he's not like this all the time?"

Hearing a voice I didn't recognize, I managed to go against my screaming instincts and tear my eyes away from the sociopath I called my teacher to see a pale, young-looking blonde Altmer wearing leather armour over a dark uniform of some kind, with a large object wrapped in bandages attached to his back.

"Nah, he actually manages to keep himself pretty composed most of the time." Sofia said to the elf. "But every now and then, my teacher and I manage to get past his defences and strike him right where it hurts, isn't that right Joseph?"

"Don't talk to me." I said bluntly to the monster woman, before looking back to the High Elf. "So… Um… I don't believe we've met…"

"Oh, right." He said, as if he was only just realising that fact himself. "My name is Aronil Gaeius. I found this odd message in my satchel one day, much like what happened with your teacher, and was told to come here. I wasn't sure if I should follow the messages orders, or stay at home, as I have important duties to attend to there. However, my grandfather has a keen interest in the Dwemer and their technology, so he said it was fine."

"I see…" I said. "I'm Joseph Moore, although I'm sure this witch has already told you that, and I'm her reluctant apprentice."

"Oh, don't worry. I've heard a fair bit about you, Mr Fake Architect!"

"God fucking damn it…"

"Oh, don't be so surprised..." He said, patting me on the back. "It's pretty big news across almost all of Skyrim by now. In fact, if Miss Sofia hadn't vouched for you, I would probably still share the same opinion of you as everyone else."

"Yeah, I know…" I sighed. "Still feels shitty that everyone _instantly_ recognizes me though…"

I turned to face Sofia.

"Thanks for vouching for me, I guess…"

"Ah, it's fine." She said. "After all, we can't have our new companion reacting badly to you when we're fighting!"

"Exactly." Aronil said. "I may not be the smartest person on the battlefield, but I know that we'll probably die if we can't cooperate."

"Yeah, true." I said, nodding along with what they were saying. "Well, we should start to prepare. Buy some schematics for the staffs and stuff."

"Already done." Sofia said. "You were out for a lot longer than I was, and Aronil had been here for a few days before us, so we've already been able to figure out the process. Speaking of which, here you go."

She chucked a small sack at me, which flew right between my hands and hit me in the chest, a hard, angled piece of metal jabbing me in the rib.

"I believe these are the spells you mentioned wanting!" She said, ignoring my pained swearing. "I'm surprised you didn't want anything else. There aren't even that many spells there…"

"Don't worry," I said, "These are all I'll need. Do you know how long we'll be able to stay here before the Dwemer leader loses his patience?"

"I asked Cuomac when we got here." Sofia said. "He said he'll give us a few days to get ready, because he wants us to be ready around the same time as Anoril, who he gave a week."

"Huh… I see…" I said.

I didn't see at all.

I was actually really confused.

Why did the crazy Dwemer leader even need us all here? Wasn't the whole reason he called the dragonborn here because he needed their blood? And wasn't it only a drop?

I wanted to ask Sofia or Aronil, but I wasn't sure it was safe. What if the leader had some way to watch us while we were in here? After all, he was able to project his voice through the base, and he was aware of when I beat the neon fiends…

Wait.

Did Sofia already tell Aronil what was going to happen?

Had she accidentally let the leader know that we were on to him?

Shit.

SHIT.

"Sofia!" I said, unable to keep the urgency out of my voice. "Have you told Aronil the details of what is going to happen in the next few hours?"

"I have." She answered, a concerned expression appearing on her face. "Why? Should I not have?"

"Yes." I said. "I've made a huge mistake."

"Why?" Aronil asked, also appearing nervous. "What happened?"

"The leader… The leader _probably_ has a way to watch what happens in the base…"

"Then-" Sofia said, her expression morphing into one of horror as she realised the implications of what I said.

 **"Yes."** A voice boomed out across the room. **"I am aware of your plans. However, I can assure you that they will be quite useless. We, the dwemer who have returned, are quite superior to mortal beings like yourselves. Therefore, I welcome this as a test for my men, rather than an attack. So come! Try your hand at defeating us! We will show you what it means to stand against the will of the gods!"**

"If I had a dollar for every time I'm going to here that from now on…" I muttered.

"Well, this makes everything a lot easier." Aronil said, pulling the object on his back off of its harness and letting the bandages fall from it.

"Lord of the Dwemer, I, on behalf of the people of Nirn, declare war on you." He said, letting his _Buster Sword_ rest on his shoulder.

He turned around to face me and Sofia.

"Well, let's get to work on learning these spells!"

00000

I cast talon shot, a spell which caused more damage depending on how far the caster was from the target, and quickly ducked back behind my rock when the dwemer returned fire with their damned disk spells.

"Damn it!" I shouted. "Master, I need another magicka potion!"

"At least you can address me correctly when we're in combat!" She shouted, chucking the blue bottle from her cover, about four metres away from mine.

"Really not the time, you two!" Aronil shouted, as he leapt from the cliff he had been climbing and cut one of the dwemer in half.

Turned out Aronil was a master of the illusion school, at the very least.

The other dwemer turned in shock when the High Elf broke his invisibility, only to be dropped by a talon shot to the side of the head.

"Good job Joey." Sofia said, "Are you ok?"

"Yeah." I said, panting from the battle. "It's not as bad as it used to be."

While it was still there, the sick feeling I got from being around death had faded quite a bit since I had left Whiterun. It was still pretty bad back when I killed the old witch near Riverwood for the notes on how to create mannequin soldiers, but over the course of my journey to Winterhold, I'd faced too many bandits to still be affected too badly by it.

I hadn't gotten over it, but I had at least gotten _used_ to it.

That being said, it helped a lot that the talon shot didn't cause any bleeding.

As we continued our dash across the red rocks of Masser, Sofia slowed down to whisper something to me.

"Hey, I know this is why we got them, but try not to use them unless things get too bad, alright?"

"Yeah," I whispered back, "I'll try, but I'm not sure if it'll be that easy. The leader is pretty tough, and it'll be a little difficult to beat him without using at least _one_ of them."

"Alright," she said reluctantly, "but it'll be better to keep them secret for as long as possible."

"Don't worry, I at least know _that_ …"

Alas, dear readers, I wish I could tell you what _those_ were, but I can't. Or, not yet at least…

"There's the door!" Aronil shouted from up ahead, and we looked over to see the large stone doors leading back inside.

"Alright." Sofia shouted. "Aronil, you're on point! Get invisible and open the doors! Joseph, get behind cover and ready a talon! We'll follow the same plan we used before, got it?"

"Yes!" We both shouted. It still felt kind of jarring when she spoke like that.

If she had been able to keep that attitude up more often, I could've seen her becoming some kind of commander in the military.

Just like the previous few times, a group of dwemer ran out to meet our attack when the door was opened, only to blink in confusion when they couldn't see anyone. Then a series of talon shots brought down a few, as we fired from our cover at the sides of the doors.

While they were distracted by us, Aronil was able to sneak inside and check for any dwemer who might have been waiting further back.

Just as I was beginning to wonder if he had gotten himself into some kind of mess, three of the dwemer were bisected at their waists. The remaining dwemer turned in shock, only to be crushed and cleaved against the wall by their invisible assailant.

Sofia and I had stopped firing at this point, not wanting to hit Aronil by accident, even though he had made it very clear that he _could_ block the shots with his sword, and _easily_ at that.

Still, we had ignored his protests, telling him that it would be a lot safer if we just let him do his thing.

Before long, we reached a large doorway. Just before we opened it though, a loud rumble shook the base, and I realised just how much this next bit was going to suck.

"God damn it…"

"What?" Aronil asked. "What's wro-"

"Ktharn!" The voice of Cuomac, who had been assisting us by guiding us through the base. "Fire in the oxygen garden!"

There was a short pause.

"Ah." Aronil said.

"I'm sure it won't be _that_ bad. You're probably just overreacting." Sofia said, before pushing the door open to a room filled with grated, metal floors, with a raging inferno just below them.

"It gets worse." I said sadly.

"… How?" Aronil asked nervously.

"It's a jumping puzzle."

Even Aronil, who couldn't know what a jumping puzzle even was, went pale at my words.

"Well…" Sofia said after another brief pause, a glint in her eyes that honestly terrified me to my core. "This has become pretty interesting…"

And before I could even realise what was happening, a hand wrapped around the collar of my shirt.

Briefly, I looked over to Aronil, who looked back at me, mirroring the look of horror that I knew was on my face.

And then Sofia dragged us into the oxygen gardens.

00000

"Son of a bitch!" I shouted, desperately trying to pat out the fire on my cloak.

"Oh, don't whine so much, it's just a little bit of fire." Sofia said, and I stared at her in horror.

"You _threw_ us!" I shouted. "I can't believe you threw us! You're my teacher! Aren't you meant to be responsible for my safety?!"

"Nah, just your education." She answered nonchalantly.

I stammered a bit, before giving up on finding a retort and sighing.

"You're a monster." I said. "I mean, look at what you did to _him!"_

I pointed to Aronil, who was lying in the corner of the room in the fetal position.

"Fire... Fire… Fire…" He repeatedly mumbled, shaking slightly every time he said it.

"Oh, he's just playing around!" Sofia said happily, walking over to the poor Altmer. "Come on Aronil! We've got to get that cool dwemer technology for your grandfather!"

As soon as he looked up and saw Sofia's face, tears began streaming down his face.

"Fire… Fire… Fire…"

"Ok, maybe he's not playing around…" Sofia reluctantly said, before raising her hand up to his face.

"Um, what are you doing?" I asked, concerned by the fact that she appeared to be readying a spell.

"Oh, I'm just getting rid of him. He's a liability now."

"WAIT **,** WHA-"

"Relax," she cut me off with a chuckle, "I'm just kidding!"

Suddenly, a green light flew from her hand into Aronil's face.

"Better now, Aronil?"

"Yes." He said, panting heavily. "Thank you, Miss Sofia…"

"No," I said, "why are you thanking her? She's the one who did it to you, remember?!"

 _Man, it's almost like he's another you. Maybe now you'll realise how I feel!_

"I thought we agreed that you _weren't_ going to talk on this mission." I snapped at my mind.

 _Sorry, you give me too much material to work with._

"Um, are _you_ alright, Joseph?" Aronil asked, probably concerned about the whole talking-to-someone-when-no-one-was-there thing.

"Ha!" I laughed. "Not at all! But I'm not insane! Just want to clarify that."

"Then…" Aronil began slowly. "Who were you talki-"

"Talking to?" I finished for him. "There's this irritating voice in my head, who keeps acting all irritating and paranoid, and calling me an idiot because he's a huge asshole."

"I…" He said. "… I don't even know what that means."

"What what means?" I asked.

"That last thing you said. That 'asshole' word."

"Oh, that?" I answered. "Don't worry about it. Cultural phrase."

"Ah, alright. I suppose that makes sense." He said, in a tone that made clear that absolutely _none_ of it made sense to him. "Anyway, we should keep moving."

"Agreed." I said, before something occurred to me. "Wait a sec."

I looked up as we continued our run, despite the fact that it was probably a telepathic thing that let us speak to Cuomac, rather than a hidden microphone in the ceiling thing.

"Hey Cuomac! Can you hear me?!" I shouted.

 ** _I can, Nirnling._** The familiar voice said from inside my head.

"Good, listen up." I said. "I know you have a levitation device that you're going to teleport to me later on. I don't know why you had to wait until those neon bastards to attack us before you do it, but I figure that it's probably better to circumvent all that bullshit and just ask for it now. Therefore, please teleport it to me now."

 ** _Very well Nirnling. I trust you know what you're doing with it?_** He asked, teleporting the pickaxe like device into my hand.

"Not at all, but I'm sure it can't be too different from a staff, right?"

 ** _Wait, what? No!_** Cuomac shouted, a panicked tone growing in his voice. **_There is a massive difference between the two, and assuming that they are the same will almost definitely get you kil-_**

"Yeah, alright, whatever you say…" I said, having stopped listening to him a little while ago. "Hey stupid inner voice, drown him out or something, will you?"

 _Sure thing._ The voice in my head said, before drowning it out with a long, droning sound. _Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh._

I'd finally found a poor soul to replace me as the straight man, so even if it was only for a few hours, I could disregard all that 'common sense' bullshit and milk it for all it was worth.

Of course, I probably wouldn't have acted _this_ bad most of the time, but I was really tired, and the previous three weeks of 'straight-man' duties had me suffering something similar to withdrawal symptoms. It was bad enough that even Inner Me was willing to go along with my bullshit.

I needed my crazy, man. Don't judge me.

"Hey Joseph," Sofia said from a little ways behind me. "I didn't hear what Cuomac said to you. What is that in your hands, and what is it for?"

"What, he didn't answer you when you tried to contact him?" I asked, sure that she would have done so.

"He was just grumbling to himself and cursing about 'that foolish nirnling', and how he was 'going to get himself killed in a horrible fashion if he kept acting like that'." She answered. "I'm assuming he was talking about you, and it's his way of calling you stupid."

"Hey, I'm not that stupid!" I shouted. "I've made enough decent plans that I would have thought this kind of talk would have stopped by now!"

"And you've also made enough shitty plans to prevent that from ever happening." She retorted. "Like in Bleak Falls Barrow, remember?"

"Oh come on!" I shouted in frustration. "Why does everybody always resort to using that _one ti-_ "

"NOT. THE. TIME!" Aronil shouted, a twitch steadily growing in his left eye, as he cut down a lone dwemer who had tried to ambush us.

Shit, we were beginning to break him.

And if he lost it, I would have to be the straight man again.

"He's right." I told Sofia as we ran. "We should stop wasting our breath and focus on killing the leader!"

"Oh please!" Sofia answered with a smirk. "You just want to keep him sane so Harry and I don't make you the straight man again!"

Shit. She knew me too well.

Suddenly, I heard a muffled sound from deep in my mind break through Inner Me's droning, if only for a few seconds.

I sighed.

"Hey Inner Me, turn it down a bit. Let's listen to what he has to say."

 _Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ok-_ _ **NIRNLING! The Neon Fiends are closing in on your location! If you really know how to fight them, then get ready! They're right above you!**_

I wondered what he meant when he said they were right above us, when something fell to the ground in front of Aronil.

It was a grate from one of the vents.

"Shit!" I shouted. "Sofia, _ward!_ "

Knowing what I meant as soon as I said it, Sofia and I ran up to Aronil and simultaneously dual-casted wards above us.

A barrage of green light hit the wards almost as soon as we cast them. My ward, not being very strong due to my relative lack of practise, shattered after only a few shots. Sofia, on the other hand, was strong enough to keep the ward up for much longer. However, even I could tell that her ward was beginning to strain under the barrage.

"Don't worry!" I shouted to the other two. "I've got this!"

As I shouted, I picked the levitation device up from where I'd dropped it.

As I pointed it up to the vent that they had hidden in, I tried channelling magic through it, like Sofia had told me to do with staves. However, the outcome was a lot different to what I remembered in the game. Instead of pulling the neon fiends out of the vent like I had intended, a large blast of energy shot from the staff, warping and destroying the metal vent and knocking the fiends into the wall.

This would have been a pretty good outcome under most circumstances, however, there was something else that I wasn't prepared for.

The pain.

As soon as I had let the blast loose, a horrible pain shot through my entire arm. I could feel the muscles in my arm all tighten at once, and multiple gashes split open in my forearm, spilling blood all over the ground.

I couldn't help but scream. It was almost as bad as the pain I had felt that day in Bleak Falls Barrow, but this time I couldn't even pass out.

And I couldn't let go of the device.

My hand had clamped around it.

And the longer I held it, the more the pain continued.

 ** _The trigger Nirnling!_** Cuomac shouted from inside my mind. **_Hold down the trigger when you channel your magic through the device, otherwise it will trigger feedback!_**

Gritting my teeth, I reached out with my other hand to the trigger-like object I had missed when I first fired it. As soon as I pulled it back, I felt the muscles in my arm loosen, and the chaotic blast turned into something more like a stream.

I immediately stopped channelling my magic through it, and removed my other hand from the trigger.

"Joseph, look out!"

I turned around to see another neon blast coming, and barely managed bring up another ward and defend myself from it. Before it could continue, I returned fire with the device, correctly this time, and managed to capture it.

"Keep the other one busy!" I shouted to the others, who nodded, and I turned and ran down the stone corridor.

Fortunately, it wasn't too long before I found the area with the screen, despite the fact that they'd ambushed us a fair distance from where they did in the original game.

I probably should have expected that, but I still seemed to forget about the whole 'free from their original programming' part.

Now I just had to figure out how to launch the neon fiend without causing another feedback.

Or, on the other hand, I could just hold it up and push it to the screen. That could also work.

Thankfully, it didn't seem that the Neon Fiend had any weight, or if it did, the device nullified that weight. I was able to lift it to the screeching hologram into the screen fairly easily, causing it to shatter and explode.

Dimly, I could still hear the Sofia and Aronil fighting the other Neon Fiend, and tiredly jogged over.

"Hey guys," I shouted, hoping to make an awesome, heroic entrance, "need some help?"

"Nah." Sofia said, to my immense disappointment. "It's pretty easy now that there's just one."

I looked on as she easily blocked the blasts with wards, with a slight shimmer that I guessed was probably Aronil next to her.

"Oh." I said simply, hoping I didn't seem too disappointed.

"Oh wait, I mean yes!" She suddenly said. "I don't think we'll last much longer without help! Please help rescue us, Joseph!"

"Stop it…" I said sadly as I used the levitation device on the fiend.

"Yeah, I got the feeling it wasn't working." She said, awkwardly rubbing the back of her neck with her now free hand. At least she had the kindness to look a little sheepish.

Dejectedly, I walked over to the screen and lifted the fiend into it. As soon as I did so, the device disappeared from my hands.

"Oh, wait no!" I shouted as I realised what was happening. "No, Cuomac man, come on! I need that, otherwise I'm almost definitely gonna die! Please give it back!"

Unfortunately, my pleas were met with silence.

 **"Neon Fiends! You had** ** _one_** **job!"** The dwemer leader's voice boomed out across the room.

"Alright, that does it." I said, trying to release my anger by rapidly clenching and unclenching my hand.

It didn't work.

"So… You ok there Joey?" Sofia asked from somewhere behind me.

"Yeah, totally fine!" I said, unable to prevent a single, short, high pitched laugh from escaping my lungs.

"Oh, this… This could be bad…" she said.

"What?" The shimmering form of Aronil, who was currently standing behind Sofia, said. "What's he doing?"

In response to his question, I just looked over my shoulder, shooting him a slasher-smile that put all my other creepy grins to shame.

"Losing my cool!"

00000

In retrospect, there were a lot of things I did after that point that were probably kind of unnecessary.

One such example would be blowing the doors to the main section of the base off with a neat little trick I learned from Sheogorath, which involved overloading a grand soul gem that I 'borrowed' from the college and channelling as much magic as I could into the gem until it exploded in a ball of magical lightning, blowing the doors into the room with such force that they took out at least four dwemer, including one particularly poor fellow who was somehow _smashed in half_ because of how the door hit him.

Another example was a technique I borrowed from Leone, which largely consisted of cutting off one guy's arm, only to jam the pointy side the bone came out of through another guy's neck.

As you may have noticed, dear reader, this is usually the kind of thing that would make me _incredibly fucking sick_ , but fuck it. Just like with the whole 'being dragonborn' thing, I had effectively had another trump card, a device which would have helped me stay alive with incredible ease, wrenched out of my grasp _yet again!_

So I was a little pissed, and I think it was only natural that the part of me that would have opposed to this kind of thing was currently buried under the parts of me that could only repeat the same line over and over again.

 ** _I wanna make 'em HURT!_**

I could barely hear anything other than the panicked screaming of the dwemer. Beyond that, it was only dull, muffled sounds.

A gold disk flew towards me. I jumped to the side, only to notice another disk beside it, only around a meter away. I managed to escape serious injury by falling from my jump into a roll, but wasn't able to avoid it completely, getting a painful cut to my left arm.

Emerging from my roll, I sent a talon shot at one of the dwemer who shot me. It didn't manage to kill him, but I was far enough away that it definitely incapacitated him.

The other one sent more disks at me from both of his hands, before doing something that, for whatever reason, caused me to hesitate.

Caused my senses, my _mind_ , to start returning to its original state.

He started dragging the incapacitated dwemer away.

 _That's right._ _They're not just enemies anymore. They're real people, with emotions and lives beyond fighting us._

But they're trying to kill us all. I can't stop now. Even if I let them go, won't they just try to continue their mission? Continue to fight us?

 _You could at least try to appeal to their better judgement. Look at them, that one is trying to save the other. If they didn't care about anything other than efficiency, he would have either saved himself, or gotten behind cover to wait until he'd killed you before saving the other. You don't have to keep killing them._

No. I do. I can't keep avoiding the truth. Tamriel isn't like Earth. The fact of the matter is that this place is built on the idea of 'kill or be killed'. I _have_ to get used to that fact, or I'll be killed.

 _Heh, that's pretty funny, because I seem to remember that_ you _were the one who said you wanted to change that…_

And suddenly everything was clear.

This entire mental debate passed in under a second. I dropped to the ground, avoiding the two disks, and held my hands out as I stood in an attempt to appear as non-threatening as I could.

My eyes met those of the dwemer who was dragging his friend away.

Neither of us moved for a few seconds. We just stared.

And then his eyes seemed to soften slightly.

He gave a small nod, and continued to drag his friend away.

And then his eyes widened in shock, as his body came apart at the waist.

Out of the air behind the dwemer, Aronil appeared, his invisibility wearing off.

Almost as if in slow motion, I watched as he brought the Buster sword into a reverse grip.

"No, _STOP!"_ I shouted, reaching out towards Aronil.

But I knew there was nothing I could do.

All I could do was watch, as Aronil stabbed the dwemer on the ground, more crushing than piercing his chest due to the shape and weight of the sword.

I watched in horror, unable to move my legs.

"That's the last of them." Aronil sighed, before looking up at me with a stern look on his face. "Why did you stop?"

"They… They were just trying to get away…" I said, unable to keep the horror from my voice.

Aronil sighed. I could see from his face that the amusing, mild mannered man from before was gone. The man in front of me now was a survivor, someone who had gotten so used to death that he wouldn't hesitate to kill if he felt endangered.

Just like Leone.

"Alright Joseph, listen to me." He started. "I know you have a problem with killing, and while I won't pretend I understand these sentiments, I do _sympathise_ with what you're going through. However, you have to understand that if I let them live, we have no way of knowing what they would have done afterwards. Yes, they _might_ have stopped trying to fight us, but given the way they've all been acting, I seriously doubt it. It is more likely that they've been indoctrinated by their leader into believing everything he's been saying, and would have come back to fight us again as soon as it was physically possible for them to do so."

"But…" I said, grasping for some way, _any_ way, that I could convince him to see things from my point of view. "You didn't even give them a chance to stand up for themselves… If you'd just given them a chance to explain themselves, they could hav-"

"Joseph." He said, cutting me off. "Look around you."

I did as he said.

And I was horrified.

"Most of these people were killed by _you,_ Joseph. These people, with lives and emotions of their own. No chance to argue their case, no chance to defend themselves. Some of them didn't even know what was happening. In a fit of rage due to the loss of a single object, you let go of your other emotions and turned almost every single dwemer in this room into the corpses you see around you."

I looked around, unable to hold back the tears.

It was all so fucked up.

"But understand this Joseph," Aronil continued, "I may be frustrated with you, but it's not because of you killing them. I'm frustrated with you because of how easily you could have been injured. You rushed in by yourself, and barely gave a second thought to your own safety. Not only that, you hesitated when you had the opportunity to end the fight quickly. What do you think would have happened if you died? I don't know _how_ you know what is going to happen before it does, but that knowledge is likely the only reason we're still alive. Disregarding how Sofia and I would _feel_ if you died, there's a lot more at stake here than just _our_ lives. If you die, our only advantage will be gone. Sofia and I will surely be killed soon after you, and then there will be _nobody_ who can stop the Dwemer. If _you_ die, I have little doubt that everyone on Nirn will follow."

The last sentence was the one that hit me the hardest.

I wished they didn't, but in the end, I suppose they were the ones that finally reminded me of the gravity of the situation.

After all, the meaning behind them was almost exactly the same as it was when I said them to Leone.

Don't be so reckless, because everyone's survival depends on yours.

"Oh, one more thing." Aronil said. "I said I couldn't really say that I could understand what you're going through, but that was honestly a bit of a lie. I used to be just like you, but now I understand that sometimes… It's unavoidable. If taking one life, regardless of guilt, can save a hundred others, I will do what I have to."

Seeing my shocked expression, he continued.

"When I found this sword, I decided to become the kind of person who would save as many people. But I've learnt the hard way that saving everyone just isn't possible. So I decided that I would save as many people as I could. I would _protect_ as many people as I could. Because if you try to go for more than that, you're liable to lose all of them."

I was still shocked.

In a way, he was even more like me than he knew. But we were also different at almost the _base_ level of our ideologies.

We both knew that we had to do what was necessary, to keep the world moving as close to peacefully as we could achieve.

But he was someone who would willingly take on the guilt of killing others to save others, and I was just some idiot who couldn't solve a problem without intentionally making myself the bad guy.

He was someone who was willing to become the necessary evil, and I was just a fake martyr.

I wasn't sure if I should hate him or respect him.

"Fine." I said, unable to keep the frustration from my voice. "I'll do what you say for now…"

He nodded, but seemed surprised when I kept speaking.

"But don't think I'll just lie down and accept them. When we get out of here, I'll _show_ you that you're wrong. I may not be able to avoid killing right now, but I swear to every god out there, I'll make you realise that there are other ways, even if I have to change the entire world to do it."

He looked irritated at my words, but in the end he just sighed.

This was when Sofia, who had been silently observing our 'argument' with a neutral expression, spoke up.

"Well," she said with a small smile, "I'll hold you to that."

Her expression became stern when she continued.

"But that'll have to wait. We have company."

Aronil and I both turned to look in the direction she was pointing, to see a familiar figure standing in front of the door to the room the leader was waiting in.

 **"N-Nirnlings…"** Cuomac grunted out, obviously having a hard time holding himself back. **"Run… P-… Please…"**

"Sorry Cuomac, but this is something we have to do." I said, as I summoned some swords. "And you don't have to worry. We'll be able to get past you."

 **"I know. But Lo-… Lord Rkunhanch is too strong… He will destroy you all… You have to escape, or he will kill you!"**

"You know why we can't do that." Sofia said, walking up to stand beside me. "If we run now, everyone we care about back in Tamriel will die."

"I agree." Aronil said, standing at my other side. "After everything I just said, it wouldn't look very good if I ran off with my tail between my legs here, would it?"

 **"No… You can't… Please! Run! Save yourselves! I don't want to watch you di-"**

"You won't have to." I said, cutting him off. "You don't have to worry about us, Cuomac. We'll free you, defeat Racoonhaunchwhatever, and save everyone."

We walked past the trembling dwemer who had helped us get this far, and it seemed like we all knew what we were going to say.

"After all, there's no way we're gonna lose here." The three of us all said, at the exact same time.

It was almost as if we practiced it.

Thankfully, Cuomac managed to keep himself under control until we could get through the door and close it again. I mean, he _did_ respawn when you killed him in the game, but it still felt nice not to have to kill him, you know?

On the other side of the door, we found ourselves in a long hallway. I managed to hold it in until we were about halfway through, but I had to let it out a little bit, or else I might have actually died.

"That was awesome."

"I agree," Aronil said with a nod, "but I do find myself confused exactly as to _how_ we all knew what to say…"

"Oh, that was me." Sofia said. "I used one of the spells Harry taught me and spoke directly into your minds."

"You can do that?" I asked.

"Only in a very limited way." She replied. "It probably wouldn't have worked on both of you normally, but I did it in a way that it only worked as a strong suggestion in your subconscious mind, rather than actually 'speaking' to you."

"I think I get it…" I said.

I was thankful for the conversation. It helped to calm my nerves slightly, especially considering what we were about to go up against. Rkuna-… Rhk-… The dwemer leader was incredibly strong in the game, and I was having my doubts that we could actually beat him.

There was also the fact that, well…

I'd never actually beaten him legitimately in the game.

Every time I tried to fight him, I got my ass handed to me in the most brutal way I could imagine, until eventually, as ashamed as I am to admit it, I gave up and fought him with godmode turned on.

But there was no godmode here.

It was part of why I was so agitated before, but I had been able to deal with it at the time.

But as soon as we entered the hallway, it all started to pile up.

"Don't worry." Sofia said, resting a hand on my shoulder. "You aren't alone this time, remember? And I can tell you now that you're a lot stronger than you were those times."

It was true. I had people with me now, both of whom were far more capable than I _ever_ was whenever I played this mod, and I had skills that I didn't have back then as well, including a few… secret weapons… I had used one of my mannikins to acquire from Whiterun. I had entertained thoughts of not having to use it, but as we got closer to the door to fight the leader, I knew that it wouldn't work that way. I had a simple choice to make.

I could use every weapon, skill, and trick that I'd managed to learn before we left, or I could die.

We reached the end of the hallway, and pushed the doors open.

We opened to a long, winding walkway, suspended over a lake of what appeared to be blue lava.

And standing on it waiting for us was the leader of the dwemer.

 **"Fools, you thought you could stop me that easily?"** He said, before turning to run down the walkway.

We tried to pursue him, but the difference in speed was obvious. He continued to run from us, stopping and allowing us to catch up whenever he got too far ahead.

 **"In the beginning,"** he started, **"there was darkness. And the darkness was without form, and void!"**

Was… was he stealing stuff from the bible? I mean, I hadn't read it, but it sounds like something that would be in it…

 **"And I moved upon the face of the darkness!"**

We continued to chase him, and eventually found ourselves in what seemed like an observation room, looking over a huge, bright pillar of light that must have been some kind of energy source.

An energy source that the leader was standing at the control panel for, a wide, feral sneer on his face.

 **"Let there be light!"**

And as the light consumed us, out of all the thoughts that _could_ have been voiced, my inner voice decided to chime in for the dumbest one.

 _Yeah, he's totally stealing shit from the bible!_

00000

We woke up in a familiar, square arena. In the middle was a large statue, and the sides were large stairways leading to four sets of large doors. A large, multi-armed statue loomed over us from one of the arena's sides.

 _"Your time has not yet come, little mortals."_ An odd voice said. I knew it was one of the daedric princes, but I couldn't remember which one it was meant to be. _"Don't worry, you will pay off your debts to me… Later… For now, I take it you were expecting a climactic battle against your nemesis to conclude your quest, and guess who thought he could escape my grasp before he blew himself back to Oblivion…"_

An oval of bright green light appeared in the centre of the arena, before dissipating to reveal a surprised… Rakunkchunk.

 _"Here is your boss battle, little mortals… Make it hurt…"_

Ok, did it just straight up call this a boss battle? Is that a part of the mod, or are the daedric princes more self-aware than I'd realised?

 **"You…"** The leader said, staring at us with a look of pure loathing on his face. **"You still think to fight me?! I will dissolve the flesh from your bones, you insolent fools!"**

"Jesus Christ! You just don't stop, do you?!" I shouted, as the bound swords I threw slammed into his face, knocking it backwards.

He looked back down to me, and I could see that, while not huge, the signs that they had had an effect were definitely there.

 **"DIE!"** he shouted, sending a beam attack at us.

We instantly scattered, managing to avoid the beam. However, my poor memory of his attacks came back to bite me when he began to _swing_ the beam towards me, revealing that it would continue to fire in a stream instead of stop after a few seconds.

As I ran desperately tried to dodge the beam, the leader cast a spell with his other hand, creating some kind of floating orb of magic on the ground next to him. This sphere proceeded to send multiple small shots of magic at Sofia and Aronil, who had tried to move around the central statue to attack him from the side.

After a particularly difficult dodge, I met Sofia's eyes. As soon as she was looking at me, I gave her a nod, which she thankfully managed to realise was a signal. She stopped dodging the sphere's shots, and started using her wards to deflect them. From her flinches, it seemed that the shots were about as strong as we expected them to be, but she was still able to break into a run and charge at the sphere.

"Aronil, now!" she shouted, and Aronil ran from behind the ward. The sphere, seeming to realise which was more threatening to it, started to fire at Aronil, but was unable to get more than a few shots off before he had split it in half with his sword. They didn't even hesitate for a second before continuing their charge towards the leader.

Grunting in anger, he sent a second beam at them, which Sofia barely managed to block with a ward. The action, however, was enough to distract him from me.

This was the opening I'd been waiting for.

I didn't really want to do it when I was dodging, in case I accidentally ran into the beam, but now all of his attention was on the others.

I took a step, and spoke the phrase to use my first trump card.

"Speeding Bullet."

And I essentially flashed forwards.

 **"Wha-?!"**

He didn't even finish the question before I had closed the distance between us, stabbing two bound swords into his gut.

However, all that got out of him was an angry growl, as he brough one of his arms around to launch a new spell at me.

And then I activated my _second_ trump card.

"Mass Force!"

The leader was launched away, colliding with one of the corners of the arena with a painful sounding crash.

I continued my dash towards him, rapidly becoming exhausted.

Both of my new abilities were powers from a mod that I think was called "Master Time and Space", and as powers, they didn't take up any magicka. The down side, at least in speeding bullet's case, was that the way it allowed me to speed up was by literally speeding up every movement in my body, making me just as tired as I would have been normally, except about six times faster.

If that explanation was to boring for you, it essentially means that I needed to end this as quickly as I could.

The leader was on his feet before I could make it to him, and began sent another spell, in the form of a large sphere, at me. I managed to avoid it, only to be thrown forwards by a large explosion behind me.

I was lifted off the ground slightly by the force of the blast, and could only watch on as the leader readied another beam spell. If I didn't do anything, it would likely pierce right through me, but I had no way of avoiding the attack while I was off the ground.

The leaders face lit up with a maddened grin.

And then it lit up in a more literal form, as an enormous ball of fire collided with his face and exploded.

"Get away from my apprentice, you damn novice…"

 **"N-… Novice?"** The leader asked in a dumbfounded voice, before his face contorted in rage at the word. **"NOVICE?! Do you forget who you're speaking to?! I have a power which rivals the god's themse-"**

He was cut off when an invisible Aronil impaled him through the chest with enough force to partially nail him to the wall.

"For your own sake, I would suggest you stop speaking such heresy." He said, his voice almost too quietly to hear. "I'm afraid if you continue, I will have to make less of an effort at making this quick."

He leapt away, leaving the leader attached to the wall, as another fireball hit him, burning away part of his face.

 **"You… Bastards…"** He growled out, and begun to try and pull the buster sword out of his chest. Finally coming back to my senses, I shot a lightning spell, which I usually never use, at him from my position on the ground.

The unfortunate news is that, due to the head injury I got from the blast bleeding over my eyes, I missed his hand, hitting the sword instead.

However, it turns out this was also the good news, due to a simple fact that I had completely forgotten about.

Metal is conductive.

Unfortunately, I still wasn't very good with destruction magic, particularly lightning, so it wasn't powerful enough to actually cause a lot of damage.

Thankfully, I just so happened to be in the presence of one of the most powerful mages in Skyrim.

I didn't even have to see the _beam_ of lightning that Sofia shot at the buster sword. I could feel the heat from it from my position on the ground several meters away.

The leader screamed in agony, fighting to try and grab the handle of the sword so he could pull it out.

In response, Sofia merely grit her teeth, and pushed more energy into the spell, causing the beam to _triple_ in size.

The scream turned into a roar, shifting in tone between agony and rage, before finally fading away. Sofia, ignoring the new lack of reaction, continued firing the beam at the leader for a few more minutes. As she finally let the beam fade away, she looked down at the charred corpse and spat on it.

"I doubt the gods that weak…"

A laugh rang across the arena.

 _"Haha! Brilliant! You've shown me something beautiful, little mortals! I had contemplated bringing him back to be killed again if I felt it was not painful enough, but the way you dealt with him has gone beyond satisfying! You may return to Nirn in pride, little mortals, for you have managed to impress even a being as eternal as myself!"_

As we stood there, one of the doors at the side of the arena opened itself, showing the building in Skyrim where we met Cuomac for the first time.

The three of us could only stand there for a while, not entirely sure what to do. Finally, Sofia spoke up.

"Well, I'm going to go and change into something which isn't sweaty and covered in blood. C'mon Joseph."

I was too tired to do anything other than sigh as she lifted me up and slung me over her shoulder.


	15. The Silver Tower

**Hey guys, sorry this chapter is going to be so short, but it felt like the perfect spot to end it.**

 **I don't have a lot else to say right now, except please review, because whenever there's no reviews, I get progressively sadder each day, slowly losing hope as I wake up each morning and instantly check my phone for reviews, only to dejectedly realise that there aren't any, and cry for the rest of the day.**

 **So in essence, please review.**

 **Also I don't own Skyrim, and I've run out of jokes for these authors notes.**

* * *

 **Chapter 15: The Silver Tower**

"Well, that certainly is an interesting tale…" The daedric lord said, taking a sip of what I think might have been tea.

"It was. You should have been there." Sofia replied, before doing the same with her own tea, the main difference being that hers was essentially just tea leaves in alcohol.

"Huuuuuuuuuunghhhh…" I said, slumped over the table in exhaustion. I hadn't touched my tea yet.

"But anyway, where were you?" Sofia asked Sheogorath, ignoring me.

"Oh, just taking care of a few tasks, seeing some old friends, organising something special for Joseph here, running a daedric kingdom. The usual."

"Nuuuuuuuuughhhhhh…" I moaned at the mention of my name. The last time he'd organised something _special_ for me, I had been dropped in the middle of the Shivering Isles, without any of my things, and told to survive for a full week.

"Don't sound so depressed Joseph." He said. "I promise that you won't get any crippling diseases this time. In fact, this might be something you'll really enjoy!"

Dread filled me.

"What?"

"We're going out to see a guest speaker!" He answered. "And you might be familiar with the the location it'll take place in."

Dear god no…

"It's in Cyrodiil." He said, obviously sensing my fear that I'd have to go back to one of the planes of Oblivion again.

"Oh?" I said, still not lifting my head from the table.

"There's no chance that you'll die."

"So when will this excursion be taking place?" I said, suddenly back to my normal self at the knowledge of my guaranteed survival.

"The day after tomorrow." He said, looking glad that I was back to normal again. "Bring whatever you want, but make sure that you're prepared to do some hiking. We'll have to climb a mountain to get reach his place."

"I see…" I said, already trying to think of what I should bring. "So who is this guy, exactly?"

"Harry, is it him?" Sofia asked.

"Yep!" He said to Sofia, who began smiling before turning back to me. "Sorry, what was that last question again?"

"I asked _who_ it was that we were going to see."

"Oh!" He said with a smile. "We're going to see my great-grandson!"

00000

As I lay in the snow at the top of the mountain, panting from the climb, I knew I should have realised where we were going.

The wizards tower, Frostcrag Spire.

"So…" I managed to say between gasps. "You still haven't… told me anything about… the guy… other than how… he's your great-grandson… What kind of person… is he?"

"Oh, Marco's great!" Sheogorath replied. "A bit meek, but it was _a lot_ worse before he met Ellne, I can assure you of that."

"Wait, who?"

"Marco's wife." Sofia said, as she crouched down next to me and started poking me with one of her staffs. "A real strong nord woman. She works as a blacksmith in Kynesgrove."

"Huh. Ok." I said, not really awake enough to think of anything else. Seriously, how is she able to deal with the thin air up here so easily?

"Anyway, let's get you up!" She said happily, as she grabbed my arm and nearly dislocated it lifting me back onto my feet. "Harry's at the door now."

I watched as Harry, rather than knocking, just opened the door and entered. He turned around to beckon us in, only to see my nervous expression.

"What?" He asked. "It's still technically my house. It's just that someone else is living there right now."

I sighed, supposing he _was_ kind of right.

As soon as he took a step into the building though, a loud, high-pitched whine rang out through the room.

"Oh, forgot about that…" He said. "You may want to move away from the entrance…"

"Wha-" was all I got out, before I watched a wall of flame erupt from the floor, walls, and ceiling, engulfing Sheogorath entirely.

A few seconds later, the fire vanished, revealing that he was still completely fine.

I suppose I should have suspected that though, considering the fact that he was, for all intents and purposes, a _god_ , whose main power was complete defiance of logic, rational thought, and _the laws of the universe._

"Now Marco!" He shouted. "Is this really how you're going to treat me after all this time?!"

"Great-grandfather?" A deep voice asked from somewhere out of sight, and I watched as the back wall of the entry slid away to reveal a large, dark skinned man with an _excellently_ groomed chinstrap beard, looking almost like an honest to god _clone_ of Azuma from Naruto.

I looked to Sheogorath.

"Hey, didn't you say you'd organised this with him already?"

"Have you somehow not realised that I constantly, blatantly lie to you for my own amusement?" He asked in return, raising a single eyebrow as he did it.

"Hey Marco!" Sofia shouted, waving from beside us.

"Oh, Sofia! I haven't seen you in a while." He said, _almost_ managing to hide the fear in his expression. "Have you had any trouble trying to keep my great-grandfather in line?"

"Oh please, Marco…" She replied, shaking her head and grinning. "You and I both know that it's the other way around!"

"Yeah…" He sighed, looking at the ground in despair. "Yeah… I guess you're still like that, huh?"

"Yep!" She said brightly.

Both Marco and I sighed at the same time, which seemed to be the point where he noticed me.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't notice you there." He said, extending his hand to me. "I'm Marco."

"Joseph." I said, taking his hand and shaking it.

And in that handshake, that single bit of contact, we realised that we were both victims of the same, horrible, sinking ship that was a relationship with the two other people in the room.

"Ah yes!" Sheogorath said, slapping Marco on the back happily. "This is Sofia's, and by extension my, apprentice, Joseph. I brought him here in the hope that you could play a part in his education too."

"Ah, of course." Marco said, nodding in understanding. "But isn't it odd for you to take another apprentice? I didn't think you'd take another one, after you managed to find and mould another, smaller, female you."

"Normally, you wouldn't be entirely wrong." Sheogorath said. "In any other case, I would leave his education to Sofia, only showing up every now and then to mess with him for my own amusement."

"So not to different from what you do to me anyway." I said, only to be completely ignored.

"But Joseph here, he's here under… _special_ circumstances."

"Special?" Marco asked.

"He's like me." Sheogorath replied.

"Oh." Marco said simply.

Nobody said anything for a few minutes.

"Wait, what?!" He shouted, as he finally managed to comprehend what Sheogorath had said. "Like you in what way?! Are you saying he's a daedra, or are you saying that he's fro-?"

"Yeah." I said, cutting him off. "I'm from Earth."

Marco stared between me, Sofia, and Sheogorath, completely dumbfounded.

"I see." He said after a minute.

At this, Sofia walked over to Joseph and slapped her hand down on his shoulder.

"Like staring into a taller, bearded mirror, right?"

00000

We all sat at a large table in the main room of the tower, which now had bookshelves stretching up against every single wall.

One of my eyes twitched slightly, as giant frost atronach walked over to me, a tray somehow balanced on its hand/nub/thing, and held it out to me.

"Ah… Thank you…" I said tiredly, as I took a fancy little teacup from the tray.

The atronach let out a short, happy-sounding grumble and walked over to the others.

"Ah, thank you famfrit." Sheogorath said as he took his own cup. "So Marco, do you have any questions?"

"A few." He said, looking down at the small book he had been taking notes in. "So Joseph, do you have any forms of magic you would say you specialise in over others?"

"Well," I said, "considering that I don't know many spells outside of conjuration, I think it would probably be conjuration, with bound swords in particular."

"I've also noticed a degree of aptitude in destruction." Sofia chimed in. "When we had to make use of the dwemer destruction spells on Masser, he displayed a fair amount of talent for someone in his position, so I believe that path is also worth following for him."

"I see…" Marco said, scribbling down more notes into the book. "Well, I should be able to provide a fair amount of knowledge on that. Wait, Masser?"

"Long story." Sofia said, waving him off. "I'll tell you later, when we're drinking and the kids in bed."

"Hey." I said, and was, once again, completely ignored.

"Anyway," Marco continued, "I'm not too amazing as a teacher, but I can still offer you access to all my knowledge. Look at any of these books that you want, and they should help you work out any problems you have. If you find something you can't understand, still feel free to ask me. I may be in the middle of an experiment, but I'll try to explain what I can when I'm finished. There's also a separate section with spell tomes, which is over in the corner there."

He pointed over to a section of bookshelves which was separated from the others.

"All that being said, you might be able to help with some of my experiments, so I am going to teach you how to enchant weapons. That is, if you're interested in learning it?"

"Oh my god yes." I said excitedly. If I managed to learn enchantment, I could become even more like Archer than I already was. Of course, I would have to work out how to keep all of my enchanted swords on me, but I'm sure I'll find a way. "So… What are your experiments about?"

"I'm trying to find a way to add enchantments into the process of summoning bound weapons."

And I discovered that way almost instantly.

 _Wait Joseph, think about this for a second. What if he's a closet maniac? He is part of that guy's family after all…_

I decided to ignore my brain, because I wanted to believe.

Suddenly, a quiet whine rang throughout the room.

"Ah, excuse me." Marco said, standing up from the table. "It would appear I have another guest…"

As he left, I watched him ready two sizeable balls of flame in his hands, and walk to the towers door, the fake wall sliding back into place.

We sat there in silence, wondering if there was going to be a fight.

Instead, all we heard were voices, muffled by the fake wall.

One was obviously Marco's, and the other seemed to be the voice of a female. Unfortunately, the voices were too muffled to make out.

Eventually, we heard the fake wall slide away again.

"Hey, you remember my daughter, right?"

"Ah, yes!" Sheogorath said, with a scary smile on his face. "We haven't seen you since you were small! How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, thank you." The new voice said, causing my heart to plunge so far, it shot directly through my stomach and out my anus. "Who's that other person?"

I turned around, cringing the entire time, only to have my worst fears confirmed.

She stared back in shock, which quickly turned into absolute, venomous loathing.

"Oh, right." Marco said, somehow completely oblivious to the look on his daughters face. "This is Sofia's apprentice, Joseph Moore."

The glare turned even more spiteful.

"Joseph," Marco continued, "this is my daughter, Leone."


	16. A Thoroughly Unpleasant Evening

**Hey guys, I've got another update for you!**

 **So I've noticed that this story is beginning to feature a few more original characters than I'd originally intended, but I can honestly say that they're all important for storytelling purposes. Unless they don't have a name. Then they're just throwaway characters. Still, tell me your thoughts on the OC's that actually** ** _do_** **have an important role, because I'm always desperate for feedback.**

 **Anyway, I've been meaning to say put this in for a while now, but I've always forgotten. When you read each chapter, try and guess what anime I watched just before I started writing, and shamelessly tried to steal aspects from to insert into my stories. Do it with my other chapters too, if you want. No this isn't just a shameless attempt to get more reviews, shut up.**

 **Oh, and here's a hint. The Whiterun incident was NOT based on Sword Art Online. It was another anime entirely.**

 **And… I can't think of anything else for this author's note. Like usual, I'm probably forgetting something here, but I'm sure I'll remember it right after I upload the chapter, at the exact moment when it would be considered too late to change anything.**

 **So yeah, review and stuff, otherwise I'll wake up in the mornings, turn of the alarm on my phone, and continue to stare at it as I eagerly check the site for any new reviews, only to feel a depression that will last through the entire day as I realise that there's nothing new there. That wasn't a joke by the way, that's legitimately how my mornings start most of the time.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Skyrim. I do, however, own two copies of the game, so I think I'm pretty safe…**

* * *

 **Chapter 16: A Thoroughly Unpleasant Evening**

The rest of lunch was not very pleasant.

Don't get me wrong, the food was delicious. Marco was a damned good cook.

It was just more the brutal, soul-rending glare from my former companion that I could have done without.

Sheogorath and Sofia, the fuckers, had had these stupid, shit-eating grins on their faces the entire time. They knew what they were getting me into, that much was certain, and I wasn't sure how, but I _would_ get my revenge for this.

"So…" Marco said slowly, having caught on to the new atmosphere right after he brought out the food. "I guess you two have met?"

"You could say that…" I said nervously, cringing as Leone clenched her fist hard enough for her fork to snap in half.

Her _nineteenth_ fork.

"Come now, Leone, you know I don't have many forks up here." Marco said, getting up and retrieving another fork from a nearby drawer. "So… From this reaction… Could it be possible that you two were in a relationsh-"

That was when I realised just how much Leone's skills had improved since Whiterun.

I barely even saw the sword until it had imbedded itself through the wall beside Marco's head.

"Father…" She said, her voice filled with barely concealed rage. "Aren't you meant to be the parent who _knows_ when he's about to say something stupid?"

There was a pause.

"Yes." He answered sadly, handing his daughter the fork and sitting back at the table.

"Ah, to be young again…" Sheogorath said happily, causing both Marco and I to stare at him in horror. "All these crazy, hidden relationships behind your families backs, overly aggressive reactions to questions about said relationships, I wonder what my great great-granddaughter could be hiding?"

Suddenly, before Marco or I could even react, Sheogorath's hand appeared in front of his face, holding a large, dwarven greatsword by the blade.

"You know, that could have caused me some pretty serious injuries if my reflexes weren't so perfect…" He continued with a fiendish grin, his voice lowering to a more dangerous tone.

"Then thank the Divines that they are…" Leone replied, the tone reflected in her own.

"Well, I'm done!" I said quickly, physically unable to keep the fear from my voice. "Thank you Mr Vallius, it was delicious. I was wondering if there was some kind of bedroom that I could take some books to and study them?"

"Of course." He answered, before leading me to the teleport platform at the side of the room. "I'll show you where it is."

Despite the fact that Leone was still facing Sheogorath, she continued to follow me with her eyes all the way to the teleporter.

They were so full of suspicion, of distrust, of pure, unfiltered anger…

And despite the fact that I knew I had to do it, I regretted that day once again.

00000

"What did you do to my daughter?"

The question came as soon as we got out of the teleporter, all the kindness gone from his voice and features.

In response, all I could do was stare back at him, looking as resolute as I could manage.

"Nothing."

"It didn't sound like nothing." He said, glaring at me.

"I know." I answered. "And that's because I had to convince her that it wasn't."

He continued to glare at me for about half a minute, before finally turning and walking down the hall.

"Follow me."

As we walked down the long hallway we had been teleported to, he sighed, shoulders slumping.

"So what happened?" He asked tiredly. "Were you actually… intimate?"

"What? NO! God, no…" I managed to stutter out. It probably didn't do much to make me sound less suspicious, but it was mostly due to me trying to figure out how I could explain it without giving away anything that I had didn't have any right to. In the end, I just sighed. "It's hard to explain, and a lot of what I _could_ say to explain it, well, it's not my place to say them. But just know that we were in a bad situation, and in order to make sure she and everyone else would stay safe, I had to convince them, along with the other people around us, that I was a terrible person."

"What do you mean by 'terrible'?" He asked.

"The kind who saw her as a tool to be used, and was willing to let as many people die as I needed to preserve my own safety." I answered, unable to keep the twinge of regret from my voice.

For a while, he didn't respond, as we continued to walk down the hallway.

"You can sleep in here." He said, opening a door to see a small, but comfortable looking bedroom, with a large bookshelf and a desk up against the wall. "Great-grandfather designed it for his old apprentices, when he made all his additions to the tower back in the old days. The teleporter is probably a bit dangerous for someone at your level, so you should use the stairs. They're down at the other end of the hallway, and will take you everywhere except the storeroom and my quarters."

He began to walk away, before stopping after a few steps and looking back.

"So you really can't tell me anything else?" He asked.

"Sorry." I replied. "She'll probably tell you what you're looking for, and you'll probably realise what I was talking about when she tells you, but there are some things that I'm just not in any position to tell you. But if Sheogorath and Sofia can trust me, can't you too?"

He turned back around.

"I suppose I can." He said. "But I'll be keeping an eye on you."

"Heh, don't worry." I said with a small laugh. "You're almost definitely not the only one…"

He looked back, an eyebrow raised, and I began to worry that I'd just destroyed the tiny amount of trust I'd been trying to regain. Then a small smirk appeared on his face.

"I suppose we really are quite similar…" He said, before turning back around and walking over to the teleporter, and called out over his shoulder. "I'll send Ifrit up with your dinner tonight! I get the feeling that if you try to come down, my daughter might end up trying to kill you!"

I was surprised for a second, before a small, relieved grin spread over my own face, and I closed the door.

It was time to start studying.

00000

It wasn't long before I remembered just how much I _hated_ studying.

Hell, if it wasn't for the fact that I was studying _magic_ , I probably would have given up weeks ago.

Still, it wasn't like I could give up now. I had a world to impress with incredible talent and innovations in the magical community, just like Sheogorath seemed to have done in his time.

Seriously, over half of the books I had read so far _directly_ mentioned the effects Archmage Harold King had on the very use of magic for the last hundred years, most of them going so far as to call him 'the father of modern magic'. That being said, none of them actually mentioned the fact that he was Sheogorath, which either meant that it was a secret to normal people, or it was a secret to almost everyone.

Suddenly, there was a knock on my door.

That confused me a little, as I assumed I was supposed to be left alone to study, apart from when Ifrit, Sheogorath's old flame thrall, brought me dinner, somehow without burning it.

This was also after you considered how late it was. It was almost definitely in the earlier hours of the morning, probably at around two o'clock.

 _Shit, it might be Sofia._

Shit.

As silently as I could, I crept to the side of the door, the person on the other side knocking a second time.

I slowly reached to the door handle from my position, and twisted it.

As soon as I did this, the door burst open, as a nightgown-clad Leone thrusted her sword into the thin air where I would have been standing, had I opened the door normally.

My mind slowed to a near halt, as it tried to process the fact that, while it wasn't Sofia, I was still in a hell of a lot of danger.

In a fraction of a second, I did the first thing that came to my head.

I kicked her from behind, causing her to stumble and fall onto my bed, and got the hell out of that room.

I ran down the corridor, trying to reach the stairs, when I heard a whistling sound.

I barely managed to spin around and project a physical ward, an alteration to the first step of ward creation Sheogorath had taught me, in time to block several throwing knives.

Once again, I was reminded that I wasn't the only one who had learnt a few new tricks…

She was on me before I could spin back around, and I desperately conjured a simple bound sword to try and parry her downward swing. Unfortunately, there was too much force behind the attack, and I was forced to sidestep the attack, using my sword to push hers just off its path.

I jumped back, trying to get some space between us, only to be forced to jump away as three more throwing knives flew at my legs.

When I landed, she was almost on me again. As she maneuvered her sword into another thrust, I managed to dodge to the side and get in close. She turned her head towards me, an expression of shock briefly showing through her anger, just in time for me to cast a suppressed form of Frostbite into her face. I had hoped that the suppressed form would be able to startle her long enough for me to get away without actually doing any lasting harm. After all, I didn't want to actually _hurt_ her…

Unfortunately, this action didn't work as planned, as she responded to the spell by elbowing me, knocking me around her to the other side of the corridor. She swung her sword in a lower attack, and I barely managed to use my momentum from the hit to fall into a forwards roll, narrowly avoiding the swing. I leapt out of my roll, getting a fair amount of distance between us.

We just stood there, panting, for a few moments, as we each tried to size up the situation.

I'd messed up.

I tried to do something stupid to avoid causing any real damage, and now Leone was between me and my escape. Sure, I could have used the teleporter, but I've read _Restaurant at the End of the Universe,_ and I knew what could have happened if some inexperienced idiot tried to use a teleporter and fucked up.

No, my only chance was to get serious.

Unless…

Maybe I could try to disarm the situation…

It would probably be difficult, but it would make things a hell of a lot easier if I could just get her to stop attacking.

"So…" I began. "I see that you've gotten even better than you were before. Good job!"

"I don't want your praise, you traitorous bastard!" She snarled back.

Ugh. This was pretty bad.

"Um, I don't suppose you'd listen to me if I tried to explain my actions back in Whiterun, would you?" I asked hopefully.

"There's no need." She growled, before pulling another throwing knife out from a small bag on her belt. "You already made your intentions _perfectly clear!"_

Fine.

I had really hoped that I could avoid this, but it looked like there was no other way that I was getting through this.

I was going to have to overwhelm her.

"Speeding bullet."

I flashed forward, summoning two bound swords, and pushed into her strike. The speed from Speeding Bullet gave me the extra force I needed to push her back, turning what she had meant to be a strike into a block.

As she tried to push me back, I spun again, causing her to stumble forwards as I moved around her and over to the right side of the corridor.

However, I was surprised when she regained her balance far faster than I had expected, and spun around in an attempt to stab me in the side with one of her throwing knives. Thinking at a mile a minute, I brought one of my swords over my shoulder to block the stab. The resulting block left me in an awkward position, but at least I still managed to keep myself from being killed.

Before she could make another move, I stomped down on her foot, _hard._ She stumbled backwards with a shout of pain and anger, and I used the opening to sprint to the stairs.

I almost _flew_ down the stairs, terrified of what would happen when Leone caught up with me.

Just before I made it into the main room however, I stopped.

I had figured that Sheogorath would still be up, because he _never_ seemed to sleep back at the college, but I hadn't expected Marco and Sofia to be awake too.

I hid just behind the edge of the wall at the top of the stairs and tried to listen in.

Yeah, I know what you must be thinking, but I legitimately thought I'd be able to hear when Leone got close enough to be a threat again.

"So you're sure that was his name?" Marco asked, a frown on his face. "You definitely aren't remembering it wrong?"

"No." she said. "That was his name, and from the description you gave me, it was definitely him."

"Aronil Gaeius…" Marco said, his expression dead serious.

I heard what sounded like a small gasp from behind me, and turned around to see that, terrifyingly, Leone seemed to have gotten amazing at stealth since we parted ways, and was currently holding her sword over my head.

Before I could react however, she did the last thing I expected from her.

She talked to me.

"Joseph…" she said slowly, quietly. "Did they just say the name Aronil Gaeius?"

For a moment, I was nervous over what I should say, but as soon as I saw the expression on her face, the expression that somehow managed to combine shock, anger, sadness, and frustration into one, I knew I couldn't lie.

"Yeah. Yeah they did."

Her grip tightened on the sword, which she had brought down to her side, and her expression seemed to grow even more intense.

Silently, she turned away from me and walked back up the stairs.

And for whatever reason, I felt torn.

I could either stay here, and continue to eavesdrop on the conversation to try and figure out what they were going to say about Aronil, or I could go and try to help comfort the woman who had just tried to brutally murder me.

I looked back around the wall, only to see that both Sofia and Marco had taken a break to drink their tea, looking just a little bit _too_ deliberate in their actions. And then I noticed Sheogorath, with his eyes closed and a small smile on his face.

He opened his eyes, revealing the fact that he was looking directly at me out of the corner of his eyes, and nodded.

 _God damn it, why do I get the feeling that we're_ both _going to regret this?_

"Because we probably are, and you seem to know just about everything." I sighed, as I turned around and ran after Leone.

It wasn't long before I caught up to her.

I slowed to a walk when I got next to her, and continued alongside her.

"So I guess you know Aronil?" I asked.

She stayed silent for a moment, before sighing.

"I did." She said simply.

I didn't speak for a few moments, taking a moment to figure out how to respond.

"Something happened between you two?"

She gave me a glare, but it was nothing compared to what she'd been sending me earlier. It seemed like this was really weighing heavily on her.

"Why should I tell you anything?" She said, her tone sounding more defeated than angry.

"Because I might be able to help." I replied.

She glared at me again, this time a little stronger.

I stared back.

I was too used to this kind of treatment to let it faze me anymore.

Eventually, she just looked away, staring at the ground ahead of her.

"I doubt you could ever know what it's like to consider sacrificing _anything_ for the sake of a friend…" She murmured.

"You'd be surprised…" I said.

We continued to walk in silence for a while, and I wondered just how far we had run to make the walk take _this_ long.

"He lived in South Dragonbridge, just across from us."

I turned to look at her, kind of surprised that she had actually decided to tell me.

"He lived with his mother," she continued, "an extremely kind woman, his father, who would help my parents out around the forge, and his grandfather, who used to travel with my parents when they were still adventurers. They were all so kind, both to us and to everyone they met. Aronil wasn't very strong back then, he was almost as weak as you were when we first met. But he was still so happy all the time. It was like nothing could ever break his spirit. He was my best friend."

As she said all of this, she wore a brighter expression than I'd ever seen on her. It was like watching an old man, who was looking back to all of their fondest memories throughout their life, and reliving each and every one.

"But then, when we were eleven years old, the Thalmor occupied the town, and shortly after, his father… killed his mother…"

Oh. Wow.

She really was going to tell me everything wasn't she?

 _Yeah, somethings up. There's no way she'd be sharing this stuff with us otherwise._

"His father vanished after that. The guards searched for him for a full month, but we never heard anything. And then, about a month after the guards stopped looking, the Thalmor talked to Aronil's grandfather. I don't know how, but they somehow managed to convince him that Aronil's mother had been killed in the name of Talos, and that they would help him track Aronil's father down if he and Aronil joined them. They used the man's own _daughter_ to convince him to work for them, and somehow, despite the memories I have of his kindness, he still accepted. It wasn't long before Aronil was convinced of the Thalmors goals too, and nothing I said could make him realise that it was wrong!"

She stopped moving and glared at the ground, her hands clenching so tight that her knuckles turned pale.

"They changed him!" She shouted, a multitude of emotions clear in her voice. "They warped my friend into something completely different! Something that, if the Aronil from our childhood could see, would horrify him! And no matter what I did, no matter how much I shouted, begged, and fought him, he wouldn't change his mind!"

I couldn't see her eyes from my position, but I didn't need to. The trembling, the gritted teeth, the tears. They told me everything I needed to know.

"He's hurting some of the few out there who are actually good people. I have to save him, before he loses himself completely. And if I can't…"

The last part went unsaid. We both knew what she meant.

But something was wrong.

"Why?" I asked quietly, but apparently it wasn't quiet enough.

"What?" Leone asked, looking up at me.

Realising that, if I tried to avoid the question or brush her off, I probably wouldn't make it through the night in one piece, I decided to take the equally risky option and ask straight out.

After all, at least this way I might learn something…

"It's just…" I started. "I know I told you that I might be able to help, but I still didn't expect you to actually, you know, _believe me!_ I thought you hated my guts!"

Her eyes widened slightly, but only for a moment. I probably wouldn't even have noticed it if I wasn't directing all my attention at her. Eventually, she sighed, sending me another half-hearted glare.

"Because you're the first person who has ever asked." She said, before continuing ahead, leaving me to stand there in confusion. After a moment, she stopped and turned to face me again. "And just know that I still don't trust you. I just… I couldn't keep it to myself any longer."

"I see." I said, as she turned and continued to walk.

Once she was out of sight, I sighed out loud.

"Well, as far as explanations go, I guess that seems fair enough…"

 _Wait, what? Sure, it might have been one of reasons, but you don't actually believe that that's the_ only _reason she told you all that, do you?_

"Oh, fuck no." I said to myself, as I started to walk back to my room. "There's no way in hell that that was the only reason. I just have no idea what the others could be. That being said, trying to figure it out now will be a pain, so I'm just going to write all of this down once I get back to my room, and try to figure it out in the morning."

 _That doesn't seem like an amazing idea…_

"I know, but I'm too tired to do much more right now. If I try to figure it out now, I'll just miss something, don't you think?"

 _Fine. But make sure you don't leave anything out when you write it down._

"Don't worry…" I said. "Do you really think I'm the kind of person to forget important details like that?"

No response.

"Exactly."

I continued the walk to my room in silence. Despite what I'd just told myself, my mind was racing.

What reason could she have possibly had to tell me something so personal, especially considering how much she was meant to hate me?

Unless…

Oh no…

But it also explained too much, like why she never threw any of her swords at me, and how I was able to actually _evade_ her attacks, despite how fast I _knew_ she could move.

Somehow, deep down, she couldn't bring herself to see me as a real enemy.

Maybe it was a subconscious thing, and she didn't even realise that she was holding herself back. That would definitely be the safest possibility. She would still be able to keep up appearances if we ever met again in view of the people of Skyrim.

No, it was the alternative which would make things hard.

It was the possibility that, however unlikely, she couldn't accept that I was her enemy and _knew_ it.

If she was actively trying to see me as an ally, and perhaps even a friend, despite what I did in Whiterun, then everything would go right back to the way it was.

No, actually, it would be worse…

If they saw her talking to the man who was willing to sacrifice an entire outpost of people for his own gain of her own accord, the absolute _best_ possible outcome was that they saw her as someone who was willing to forgive someone like me. In a place like Skyrim, just that would be bad enough.

But there was also the chance that they would see her as a co-conspirator, and if that happened, they would tear her and the rest of the old group apart…

I couldn't let that happen to her. She needed to save the world. She wasn't expendable like I was.

No.

That wasn't the reason…

I couldn't let that happen to her because Leone was my friend.

Which meant that I only had one option.

To protect my friend, I would do the thing that only I could do.

The only thing I could ever do…

To protect my friend, I would have to force her away again.

Permanently.


	17. Friends To Return To

**Hey guys, sure has been a while, hasn't it? I'm not entirely sure why it took this long to get back to this, but at least it was only a little over a month between chapters, instead of the two-three months I thought it had been.**

 **Anyway, over the last few weeks, I've noticed that there are a lot of reviews with questions that I haven't answered, but I don't want to make my already tediously long authors notes even longer. So I decided to answer this question** ** _and_** **try to satisfy my constant craving for reviews at the same time, by asking you guys. So what do you think would be an effective way to answer the reviews, while also requiring minimal effort on my part?**

 **And you know, if you want to help me with my massive ego by telling me what you actually thought of the chapter at the same time, that would also be much appreciated.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Skyrim. If I did, I would have made it the veritable wonderland to degenerate half-weebs like myself that you see in this story.**

* * *

 **Chapter 17: Friends to Return To**

"I'm hiring you."

"I'm sorry. What?"

It had been nine days since we all arrived at Frostcrag Spire, and Leone and I had both spent most of the time training.

It turned out that Leone was actually fairly knowledgeable in the area of enchantment.

Who knew?

Aside from that, my own training had also gone fairly decently. I had managed to accumulate a nice little pool of destruction magic, and my three remaining Mannikins had even caught up to us after I'd sent them around Skyrim to acquire spell tomes from across the country.

Along with this, Marco and I had also had a surprising amount of success with enchanting bound weapons. The only problem was that they had to be conjured through a soul gem. Any soul gem would work, but smaller gems tended to shatter after just a couple of uses. The enchantment was also generally weaker with lower tier soul gems. This meant that, while they were definitely useful for small scale enemies, anything under a common soul gem would be unlikely to do much damage against any of the higher level enemies.

Another aspect of our training was that Marco, Sheogorath and Sofia had decided to have Leone and I spar together. This resulted in me almost dying multiple times, but I think that maybe, just maybe, it might have helped me become a better fighter.

I also realised that Leone actually _didn't_ have any qualms with throwing swords at me, leading me to realise that it probably just wouldn't have worked very well in the cramped corridor we fought in.

But I can only assume that Leone _also_ realised that I have something that, if you looked at it under the right conditions, might be mistaken for talent.

Which led us to the current situation, standing in the middle of the underground arena Sheogorath had built under the spire, because _of course_ he had, with Leone _bowing_ towards me, and me staring back at her in complete shock, because _surely_ I had misheard what she just said.

 _SURELY_ …

"As much as it frustrates me to say this, I need to hire you to assist me." She said, gritting her teeth.

Oh god, I really didn't mishear it...

"The fact of the matter is that you have become fairly talented." She continued. "And I need all the help I can get right now. None of the members of my party have much experience with magic, and the same cannot be said for our enemies."

Shit.

This was bad.

I'm meant to make her _hate_ me, damn it! I shouldn't be getting so excited about this!

 _C'mon bud, control your thoughts. We can get through this, just don't lose your head._

Right.

Don't lose my head.

Keep calm.

CALM.

"Are you sure?" I asked. "I'm sure you already know this, but I would much prefer to keep myself _out_ of danger here. If you want me to join you, you're going to have to make it worth the effort."

"I am well aware." She said, her teeth audibly grinding together. "Honestly, I would much rather find another mage to help us, but you… you can help us in a way that no one else can…"

Ah.

"Because I know what's going to happen, right?"

"Right." She said. "If we know what is going to happen before it does, we can plan around it, like in Bleak Falls Barrow."

I see.

"Fine, I'll consider it." I said, causing her to look up in surprise. "But you still haven't answered my question. I want to be able to gain something from this, and you're going to tell me what it is."

"I'm hiring you, not just asking you." She said. "You _will_ be paid for your services. Along with that, we'll most likely be finding multiple artefacts in our journey, and you will be given a cut, depending on what they are."

Well, those were all quite appealing.

Still, joining her could make things a lot more difficult. I need to make her _hate_ me, which might be a lot harder if I'm helping her.

No, wait, let's just cut out the middle man entirely! Because the main reason she needs to hate me is so she doesn't want to hang around with me, a man who is widely recognized around Skyrim as a horrible bastard who sacrifices the people around him!

 _No, wait. Think about this. If you hang around her for long enough, it'll give us far more chances to show her that we aren't good people!_

Yeah, but didn't you listen when I mentioned _why_ we needed her to hate us?

 _True… Maybe she'll be able to figure something out though. Why not try and ask?_

Fine…

"Alright." I said. "I'll admit that it's a tempting offer, but this leads us to another problem. You've probably realised by now, but I've gotten quite the reputation, and not just from you. All across Skyrim, people have heard tales about 'the Architect', or 'the Faker', the treacherous bastard who used the people who cared about him like tools! I doubt we'll be able to convince the group that it was all fake, let alone the rest of Skyrim!"

"That will be difficult…" She agreed. "Perhaps you could wear a mask of some kind…"

"So a mask is going to make me _less_ suspicious?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "Please elaborate."

She flashed me a dirty look… Well, a look that was _dirtier_ than the usual dirty looks, at least…

"A lot of Nords don't know a lot about magic or mages, so a mask could just be a unique custom of a certain group. As long as you don't act in a way that the others will outright dislike, they should be able to put your habits aside."

Well… I suppose it could work. Still, that doesn't mean that there aren't a whole lot of proble-

"Joseph!"

I spun around to face the entrance of the arena, completely startled, to see Sheogorath.

"Follow me." He said. "I have something I need to tell you."

As I walked over, he turned to face Leone.

"Leone, I'm going to set up an exercise for you. I want you to dodge as many of these projectiles as you can."

As he said this, he pulled a lever by the entrance.

This caused a series of openings to appear in the walls, exposing multiple soul gems.

As the soul gems started to glow, I could almost swear that I saw a look of pure fear appear on her face.

"Joseph." Sheogorath said, breaking me out of my thoughts. "You might want to run."

I ran to the entrance just as a loud humming started, and almost felt bad for Leone when Sheogorath closed the entrance.

"So, what did you want to tell me?" I asked.

"Come with me." He said, leading me through the long hallways of the Spire.

I followed him up to the main room of the Spire, where Marco and Sofia were both waiting.

"Oh god…" I sighed. "I've told you guys time and time again, I can quit whenever I want to!"

"Ha, intervention joke!" Sheogorath said. "I get it. Funny!"

 _He's lying. That was awful._

Yeah, I know…

"Anyway, you wanted to talk to me?" I asked.

"Yes." Sheogorath said, his expression shifting to something a bit more serious. "So we were listening in on your conversation-"

"Wait, what?"

"-and we've decided that you should go with Leone."

"How long have you been listening in on my conversations?"

"I told you, dummy." Sofia said with a laugh. "Since before Riverwood, remember?"

Oh yeah.

I wonder why I'd forgotten that bit.

Actually, never mind… After everything that I've gone through with Sofia, it probably got repressed along with everything else…

But disregarding that…

"Are you sure it's a good idea to go with her?" I asked. "I know I've been improving with you guys, but I'm still not really that powerful, at least not compared to who we'll be fighting. There's a more than decent chance that I'll only end up being a burden to the group."

"Don't worry." Sofia said. "You may not be particularly intelligent… Or strong… Or charismatic…"

"Gee, thanks…" I grumbled.

"But I can safely say that regardless of those flaws, you've still got some good points going for you." She continued. "While you may not be the smartest guy out there, when you put your mind to something, like you have with magic, you're a damn fast learner. Not only that, you're resourceful, even if that resourcefulness is usually by accident…"

"You may not end up being the best of the best, or a hero like my adorable little descendant down there, but you have what it takes to make your way in the world." Sheogorath added. "And every party needs a mage! It's one of the unshakable laws of the universe. And after all the training you've done under our tutelage, I think it's safe to say that you should be that mage."

"I also agree." Marco said. "It's only been eight days, but you've made a surprising amount of progress. And now, after our research, you can make enchanted bound weapons, which is already a huge advantage over what other people have."

Oh my god.

"I'm not gonna lie… I think I'm about to cry…" I said, wiping a tear away from my eye. "I mean, I know you're just trying to shamelessly take advantage of my ego, but still…"

"Not _just_." Sofia said, as she walked over and placed a hand on my shoulder. "True, that was part of the idea, but believe me when I say that none of what we just said was a lie. We really do feel that we can trust you to do this."

"You guys…" I said, before remembering the real problem. "But still, there's also my reputation to worry about. News has spread _a lot_ faster than I thought it would, and people have been able to recognize me even when I'm really far away from Whiterun. If my identity is revealed somehow, who knows what could happen, and not just to me, but to the others as well! Don't you think that it's just too much of a ris-"

"Stop worrying." Sheogorath said. "You should know by now that we're watching you almost all the time… If you ever need help, we'll know, and we'll be there before you even realise it."

"And you won't have to worry about your identity being revealed!" Marco said, looking more excited than I'd ever seen him before. "We've got a gift for you!"

As he said this, he handed me a medium sized, cloth-wrapped object.

I opened it, only to almost fall over at the sight.

It was a large, green mask.

The back of it was cloth, so I could put it over my head without having to worry about it falling off, and the front was some kind of light-weight metal. The eyes, while not apparent from the outside, appeared to be transparent to the wearer, and the whole thing felt like there was a sort of energy to it.

"We all made this for you." Marco continued. "We had a feeling that something like this would end up happening, and we knew the arguments you would try to make, so here."

"We put all our effort into enchanting it, and I think it turned out pretty well." Sofia said. "Basically, it'll make your magicka regenerate far faster than it normally would, but that's not the cool part."

"It's essentially like a rechargeable battery." Sheogorath said. "When you aren't in combat, you can channel magic into the mask, and it will store it. Then, when you _are_ in combat, you'll be able to draw that magic from the mask."

Holy shit.

HOLY SHIT.

"Joseph Moore," he continued, "this is your trump card."

00000

"So, you're the mage Leone found?" Hadvar asked, holding out his hand.

I swear to god, it wasn't easy to hold in the tears at that point.

It had been about four days since Leone and I had left Frostcrag Spire, and I was now fully decked out in my mask and a nice, baggy robe to further hide my identity.

Leone, while still grumpy over the necessity to bring me along, was at least partially tided over by the fact that the others had also given her a nice, shiny, apparently enchanted great sword as a goodbye gift.

After we left, we made our way back down from the mountain range and made our way towards the Akaviri samurai house, which Leone and the rest of the group had decided to use as a base to work out of whenever they were in this area of Skyrim.

Which is what led to this situation.

I reached out and shook his hand, thankful that I was wearing the mask, because who knows what stupid-ass expression I was making right now…

"That's correct." I said. "I hope we can work well together. My name is Lelouch."

Because come on… I was a mysterious masked man who would provide constant tactical support and mysterious powers to the group. What else would I call myself?

"Hadvar." He said, before pointing over to one of the other rooms.

"The woman at the alchemy table is Lydia, Leone's housecarl." He said. "And the idiot who's about to break his sword is Ralof."

"Let's see you try laughing about it when my sword is sharp enough to cut _through_ yours!" Ralof shouted, an unsettling gleam in his eyes.

"He's been too worried about Leone, and hasn't gotten any sleep for the last three days." Hadvar whispered, as Ralof went back to sharpening his already razor thin sword with a terrifying giggle.

"Ah." I said, thankful that there was at least an explanation for why he was like this now. "So that means that… this… is only temporary?"

"Yes." He said, before gesturing for me to sit down at the table. "So what kind of magic do you know?"

"Well," I said, sitting down, "I have a pretty decent number of destruction spells, and a very large number of conjuration spells. On top of that, I have some skill in healing and wards too."

"Ah, I see…" Hadvar said. "Yes, that should be more than enough."

"Alright everyone!" Leone said, addressing the whole group. "We'll spend tonight here, and get moving in the morning. That works for everyone, right?"

"As far as I know, none of us have anything else that we need to do here." Hadvar said, looking to the other two for confirmation.

"I'll be ready before tomorrow." Lydia said with a nod.

"I just need to finish sharpening this sword to perfection, and then I'll be ready too." Ralof said.

"Alright then." Hadvar said. "I suppose I'll start on dinner."

"I'll help." Leone said, leaning her swords against the wall and following him into the kitchen area.

I hadn't noticed it when we first came here around… I suppose it was around a month ago… but it looked like this place was also somehow affected by whatever it was that made Skyrim bigger than the game.

Honestly, I only noticed it now from the fact that there actually _was_ a separate room for the kitchen, whereas in the original game, it was still in the same room as the other crafting tables.

Unfortunately, this flew in the face of my original theory that areas that were put into the game using mods wouldn't be affected, meaning that I was almost back to square one in that regard.

"So, you're our new, mysterious mage companion?"

I was shaken out of my thoughts, and looked over to see Lydia standing over me.

"Yep, that's me!" I said, trying to mask my nervousness with enthusiasm.

"Well, you'll have to forgive me if I don't trust you right away…" She said, with a distinctly harsh undertone. "I've known a total of two outspoken mages in my life. One is an arrogant fool who looks down on anyone brave enough to actually pick up a sword, and the other one was a traitorous bastard who used this group as a shield for his own miserable hide…"

Ralof stopped sharpening his weapon, sighed, and walked over to the table.

"Lydia… I still don't think that's why he did i-"

"I know what you're about to say Ralof, but you need to accept that he betrayed you." Lydia cut Ralof off. "Joseph Moore was an arrogant bastard who thought nothing of using other people as tools. He could have gotten you all killed, just so he could stay alive until everyone in Skyrim was prepared to fight the dragons."

"I'm telling you, he wouldn't have done that!" Ralof shouted, clearly frustrated. "Joseph was an odd boy, but he wasn't the kind of person who would betray us like that. The way he reacted the first time we called him a friend, the way he fought beside us against the necromancer in this very building. By Oblivion, Leone even said told us that he ran back to her when they fought Mirmulnir. He could have chosen to run and save himself, but he decided to go back for her, knowing full well that it would end with him fighting a divines damned _dragon!"_

Ralof…

"Of course he was going to," She responded, sounding equally frustrated, "she's the dragonborn! As soon as he found that out, he would have realised that she was the best hope against the dragons. He wouldn't have tried to save Miss Leone if she wasn't the safest option to remove the danger of the dragons for good. You _heard_ what he said. He even admitted to stalling with Jarl Balgruuf so the soldiers at the watchtower could weaken it! So many people died because of him! My brother lost his leg because of him! He's the kind of person I hate the most, and if we ever see him again, I'll send him down to oblivion myself!"

Lydia and Ralof glared at each other for a moment, before Lydia stormed off to a separate room, causing Ralof to sigh once again.

"I'm sorry…" He said, sitting down in the seat across from me. "About Lydia, I mean. She's still young, and she never really had any experience with our former companion beyond the incident he caused in Whiterun."

We sat in silence for a few minutes, before I did something insanely stupid.

"What was this person like?"

"What?" Ralof asked, looking up from the spot on the table that he had been staring at.

"The man you were talking about," I continued, "Joseph Moore. What kind of a person was he?"

I had no idea what I was thinking as I asked this. I tried to justify it by saying that I was trying to figure out how they saw me, so I could try to act differently while travelling with them, but I knew for a fact that the real reason was something else entirely.

"Joseph…" Ralof started. "Well, as I said before, he was an odd boy. Always acting in a way that clearly set him apart from the rest of us. He had a hard time with the idea of having to kill people, although now that I think about it, he may have just been acting as if that were the case to avoid combat. Still, I don't think he would've done that. He just seemed… It was almost like he couldn't help but be nice to people. Even when he tried to not be. Oh, and he was lazy. He hated the idea of walking too far, and always slept for far longer than the rest of us."

Fuck!

Now I'd have to get up early to avoid suspicion.

"And he seemed to think in a way that was completely different to the way we did, like his entire thought process was fundamentally different from ours. I honestly can't say if he was a genius who acted like an idiot or an idiot who acted like a genius, but every now and then, he'd come up with something brilliant."

He sighed, and for a second he looked even tireder than he had that day in the carriage.

"I don't know why he said what he did, but I don't think it was how he really felt. I just… I can't believe it. And someday, I'm sure we'll run into him again, and I can only hope that he tells us what was going through his head when he said it."

Well, good news Ralof! You've run into him again! And you know what? It's taking all of his mental fortitude to not break down and spill everything.

"You know, since I came to Skyrim, I've heard quite a few differing rumours about the fabled 'Architect'," I said, already knowing that continuing to talk about myself was a stupid idea but doing it anyway for some, likely incredibly stupid reason, "but you're the first person I've talked to who's ever talked about him like he's a decent person. And I suppose that out of everyone, the people in this group would be the ones who would know him best."

He looked up again, and from his expression, I figured he was probably shocked that someone was actually talking about me like I was a person rather than a monster.

"So, when I get the chance, I'll try to help you find the answers you're looking for." I said.

What the hell was I saying? This was going to end terribly!

But saying it felt too right for me to deny it, damn it!

I...

I want to tell them...

I really do want to tell them the truth...

But I can't.

Not yet, at least.

"Until then though, please put your trust in me, and know that I will do what I can to help this group." I continued.

"Right." He said, shaking hands with me. "It's good to have you on the team, Lelouch."

"It's good to be on it, Ralof."


	18. Friends and Family

**Hey everyone. Sorry it's taken this long to update this, but I just haven't been able to think of where to go next. However, I finally managed to make enough progress in the actual main quest without my game crashing, so I was able to get far enough to conceivably do this chapter and the next one.**

 **But yeah, let me say right now that I'm never going to let this story die until it's actually finished. It might take a few months to think of what to do next, and those chapters might be pretty shit because I end up writing it over a few months, but hey, you've stuck with this story this long, so you're probably used to it!**

 **So yeah, remember to review, and I'll answer any questions you might have, and I hope you.**

 **Oh, and it's kind of embarrassing to admit, but I haven't been able to get it to work since the first few chapters and have had to copy and paste them from previous documents, so how do I make linebreaks?**

 **Disclaimer: So Library of the Damned said that I might not actually have to do this every time, but I'm too scared of being sued to risk it, so I don't own the Elder Scrolls series, it's all Bethesda.**

* * *

 **Chapter 18: Friends and Family**

"Raise Wall!"

As I shouted, a large wall of stone rose from the ground in front of me, trapping the draugr on the other side of the tunnel.

"Good job, Lelouch!" Hadvar shouted from beside me. "Keep it up!"

As I held the wall in place, I listened as Leone steadied her breathing.

There were _a lot_ more draugr than we'd expected to face in these tunnels, not to mention far more powerful.

Hell, some of them were shouting already, something which I don't remember happening until much later levels.

Why, I hear you ask, do I think I can accurately guess which enemies I should be facing at this point?

Because we were in Ustengrav.

Yep.

You heard that right.

 _USTENGRAV._

It has almost been a month and a half since we separated in Whiterun, and she still hadn't even gone to get the Horn of Jurgen Windcaller!

I mean, yeah, I guess her explanation of spending time practicing her thu'um was somewhat reasonable, as I imagine that the game probably would have simplified a bunch of the more difficult aspects of its use, but still, _one and a half months!_

"Now Lelouche!" Hadvar shouted, breaking me out of my internal rant. "Get back and let the wall down!"

I ran back to the group, joining the others behind Leone, and let the wall fade.

The draugr on the other side didn't even hesitate for a second before bursting through the half corporeal remains of the wall, rushing towards us.

 **"FUS RO DAH!"**

As soon as they were in the air, we were already running in to finish them off. We had already been in enough fights today to know what we were meant to do.

Well, the others ran. I stayed back, being the squishy wizard I am. According to Hadvar, the best way I could contribute right now would be to use Raise Wall to keep enemies from attacking us while we prepared our attacks.

That and spamming bonehounds.

Now, for those of you who are unaware of what bonehounds are, they're kind of like the Volkihar vampires death hounds, but made of bones. They were part of a mod which, alongside other bone creatures, added a hell of a lot of summonable creatures. Now, I don't want to spoil too much of the badass stuff I learnt from the mod, but just to keep you sated, let me just say one thing.

Skeleton Mammoths.

I watched calmly as the bonehound helped an increasingly unnerved Lydia tear apart another draugr, which was still trying to swing its axe at her despite missing three of its limbs.

"Good job. Are you fine to keep going?"

I turned to see Ralof walking up to me, a magicka potion in hand.

"Oh, thank you, but I'm fine." I said. "The hound should still stay for a little while longer, and it doesn't cost as much magicka as I thought it would."

Blatant lies. They didn't cost _any_ magicka in the mod. That was part of why I was so excited to buy it.

Well, at least we were already getting pretty close to the end of the dungeon.

In fact, I think this might have been the area before the chamber where the horn was actually meant to be.

I mean, the entire dungeon had been quite a bit different than I remembered, but I was fairly certain we were almost there from the things that I _did_ recognize.

This was confirmed when Leone pulled a chain at the end of the tunnel, opening the way to Jurgen's resting place.

I ignored the others jumping as the statues rose from the water. I wasn't sure what, but I felt like I was forgetting something really important.

"Jeez…" I muttered under my breath. "What was it?"

 _Hey, did we remember to tell Leone that the horn wasn't going to be here?_

A sudden crack brought me out of my thoughts, and I looked up to see Leone standing at the coffin.

The two details that filled my immediate thoughts were one, she was quite visibly trembling, and two, she had just stabbed one of the iron greatswords she had taken to carrying about half way into the solid stone floor.

I watched on as she lifted a single, shaky hand and grabbed the note that Delphine had left in the horns place. A small part of my mind way realised that it seemed remarkably similar to what my bonehound had been doing to that draugr.

And then she turned around, and the aforementioned resemblance quickly leapt directly to the front of my mind as she stared directly at me.

Silence filled the chamber, as all the others looked between the two of us.

 _Well shit._

00000

"So what in oblivion is going on?" Leone asked, still sounding like she was going to try and break my neck should I give her an answer she didn't like.

We had set up camp for the night, and after a particularly venomous glare from Leone, I had 'offered' to take first watch.

After about an hour had passed, Leone got up from her bed and, after checking that the others were asleep, came to confront me.

"Ok," I said, "but let me tell you right now, this part gets a little more complicated than everything that's been happening before. Do you remember Delphine?"

"She was the woman who owned the inn in Riverwood, right?"

"Right." I replied. "She's a blade."

"What?!" Leone gasped, barely keeping her voice to a low enough volume that the others wouldn't wake up.

"Yeah, exactly." I said, remembering how surprised I was when I first found out. Of course, I can't really remember if you can see her name when she appears in Dragonsreach to collect the dragonstone, so my own stupidity might have come into play there as well. "Anyway, she got the horn before us so she could use it to arrange a meeting with you. Don't worry though, she might be a suspicious, paranoid bitch who treats you like an indentured servant at times, but she's definitely on our side. Comparatively at least."

A moment of silence passed as I waited for her response.

"Well, she sounds exactly like the kind of person I would enjoy working with…" She sighed, rubbing her temples.

"If it helps, she despises the Thalmor with an even deeper passion than the Thalmor themselves have against… literally anyone outside of the Thalmor I guess… And she's been working against them since the Great War without ever being caught."

"You should have started with that." She said.

"Well, you know. I couldn't just leave you to try and endure her personality without any forewarning." I said, shrugging my shoulders. "Last time I did that, you punched me."

"And would you remind me exactly _when_ this was?" She asked, sounding sceptical.

"Farengar."

"Ah, right." She said, at least having the decency to look sheepish at the memory. "However, I feel like that was completely justified. That man was the most arrogant fool I'd ever met…"

I was a little confused why she had stopped, until I realised that she was looking directly at me.

"Nevermind. I just remembered someone far worse."

"I dearly hope you're talking about Sheogorath." I said, hoping that she would be able to pick up on the irritation in my voice.

She paused again, before looking back at me.

"I stand corrected." She said. "Make that two people."

I growled slightly, as she let out a small chuckle.

"You know," I said tiredly, looking up at the night sky, "someday you're really going to upset me with those kinds of remarks. It's like you don't even care about how I feel…"

As I spoke, she stopped laughing, and I turned to see that her expression had changed from amused to angry.

Without speaking, she got up and walked back to her tent.

I could only sigh, only _kind of_ knowing what I'd said to set her off.

"Maybe then you'd realise how we felt."

That was the last thing I heard from her that night.

00000

"Do you really have to ride that thing?" Lydia asked as we travelled back to Riverwood, looking at my mount in disgust.

"It's a good way to conserve my energy." I replied, patting the flesh spirit on the head as I sat atop its back.

For those of you who don't know what a flesh spirit is, imagine that someone has just cut open a large shark that has been eating people who've been swimming in your area. Now imagine one of the large clumps of bloody flesh and bone that have been squished together inside the shark.

Now imagine it was alive and could fly.

And that it was about the size of a motorbike.

That disgusting, bloody abomination you just imagined probably doesn't actually look as bad as the flesh spirit does, but at least now you have the general concept in your head.

And just in case you were wondering, yes, it is another gift from the same mod as the bonehound.

"But it's hideous…" Lydia continued, apparently unable to drag her gaze away from the creature, despite very clearly wanting to do nothing but.

"Maybe so, but I favour practicality over appearances."

 _Ok, well that lie is going to be pretty hard to maintain, you stupid flashy asshole. What are we going to do when you realise you can't help but make everything look theatrical and awesome, huh?_

I decided to ignore the voice in my head, at least for now, and concentrate on something much more important.

Channelling more magicka into my mask.

Seriously, with all the magicka I'd been shoving into it, I could probably fight for at least a full hour using the master level spells from the vanilla game. Of course, it would probably be a much different story with any of the mod spells, which generally cost a lot more to use than the vanilla games spells, but still, it didn't change the fact that as far as trump cards go, this was a pretty damn strong one.

As I floated along behind them, I listened to the others speaking.

"So what are you going to do after you've settled everything we need to do in Riverwood?" Ralof asked Leone.

"I'm also interested in hearing this, seeing as I'll probably be carrying everything for you." Lydia said, as she finally managed to tear her gaze away from the hideous clump of corpses I was riding.

"Well, I'm not sure how long we'll be kept here, but I doubt we'll have much free time before we have to rush off to something else." Leone replied. "But, if we have enough time to make the journey, I would rather like to see my mother again, and perhaps tell her everything that's happened."

"Ah, right." Hadvar chimed in. "She probably wouldn't even know that you're the Dragonborn yet, would she? We really should let her know what we've been doing. Where does she live?"

"She lives in Kynesgrove, a small town near Winterhold." She said. As she spoke, she noticed a small cringe from the legionnaire, and continued. "We might need to get you something else to wear while you're there."

As the others continued to chat amongst themselves, I sighed and retreated into my own mind.

Kynesgrove, huh? Well, it might just be a tiny little mining camp with an inn in the base game, but I suppose it'll probably end up following the same rules the rest of Skyrim is, and be bigger and better developed. I certainly hoped it was, at least. In the game, the only real point of interest in the place was the dragonm-…

Oh…

Oh fuck…

Even as I thought this, I was already jumping off the flesh spirit and running up to the others.

As soon as I reached her, I spun Leone around and grabbed her shoulders, trying desperately not to panic.

"Leone, do you remember everything you have to do?" I asked, hoping that she would be able to pick up on just how serious I was from my tone.

"Yes." She answered, looking a little flustered at my actions. "Why? What's wrong?"

"I need to go, right now." I said, not quite able to keep the panic out of my voice. "You'll understand when you talk to her."

"Wait, what?" She asked, and I noticed a hint of fear trickling into her voice as well. "What's going on? Why can't we just go with you?"

"No, you need to get this person on our side no matter what!" I shouted. "If you don't meet them, then they might never come out of hiding, and we can't let anything get even more messed up! Just get to Riverwood and listen to what they have to say, and then hurry over as fast as you can, got it?"

"Yes, but I still don't understa-"

"JUST DO IT!" I shouted, before running back to my flesh spirit and climbing on as fast as I could. "Alright you fleshy bastard, go as fast as you can!"

As we began to speed back down the trail, I chanced a quick glance over my shoulder, and let me tell you right now, what I saw nearly broke my damn heart.

Her expression was exactly the same as that day.

And I was abandoning her again.

Just like that day.

But I couldn't tell her why I had to leave. If I did, she would try to make me bring her along. This was her _mother,_ after all.

But I couldn't bring her along either. I wasn't lying when I said that, if Leone didn't meet Delphine as soon as possible, the blade may very well let her paranoia get the better of her and go back underground. If that happened, then we would lose one of our most powerful assets against both the dragons _and_ the Thalmor. The fate of all of Nirn might hinge on that meeting.

This was the right choice.

This _had_ to be the right choice.

It had to be…

 _So, even after all this time, we're still bad at this friendship thing, huh?_

"What, are you gonna start complaining?"

 _Nah. In fact, I would go as to far as to say that I actually agree this time… We have to do this…_

I almost didn't know what to think for a moment, so I just settled with a quick nod.

Yeah, I had to do this.

I wouldn't let myself be too late again.

00000

It took three days of nonstop riding at the fastest speed we could go before we got close to Kynesgrove. Before we could get too close though, I made sure to stop and banish the flesh spirit. These people were Nords, after all. They weren't big fans of magic as it was, so flying into their town on a condensed clump of corpse probably would have been the absolute _worst_ way to introduce myself to the town possible.

I could only be thankful that the flesh spirit, despite its grotesque, bloody appearance, was actually quite dry and clean, meaning that I also wouldn't have to explain a bunch of bloodstains all over my lower half.

No, I'd only have to explain the mask that I refused to ever take off, and the completely obscuring robes.

With the comprehensive diplomatic skills of someone who hasn't slept in three days.

Whoo…

As I slowly became engrossed in my own nervousness of just _how_ I was going to convince these people to trust me, I arrived at the town proper.

And yes, it was a proper town, if only about the size of in-game Riverwood.

As I got closer to the town, I spotted a young girl walking around the outskirts, along the river.

 _Alright, this is good. Children are always curious about new things. Ask her if… Ah, shit, we've forgotten Leone's mums name. Oh well, ask if Mrs Vallius lives here. She should at least understand that._

Well, it wasn't like I had a better plan.

I walked up to the girl as casually as I could, trying to look as unsuspicious as possible, and called out to her.

"Excuse me!" I called. "Little girl?"

And as she turned to face me, I swear I felt the whole world freeze around me for just a second, like I had just incurred the wrath of something beyond my very comprehension.

This child was _not_ happy.

She started walking up the slope towards me though, so I figured that she was at least going to hear me out.

And then she kicked me in the shin.

"Ah! Motherfucker!" I shouted as I double over.

And then she punched me in the gut.

"Jesus Christ!" I shouted again, this time falling backwards. "Why?!"

"Who're you calling 'little girl'?" She asked, looking down at me like I was a piece of some kind of animals faeces that she had just had the displeasure of accidentally stepping in. "I'm already eleven years old!"

Now, I just want to make this clear. I'm usually able to keep my cool enough that I never even _get_ the urge to punch a child.

But I was very, _very_ tired.

Thankfully however, I barely got a growl out before I remembered why I was here. Getting in a fistfight with an eleven year old probably wouldn't have made a very good first impression.

Which meant that the only option available to me now was to tap into the good old Moore family charisma.

God help us all…

"Ah, of course! My apologies, ma'am." I said, rubbing the back of my head and doing the best sheepish laugh I could muster. "I'm afraid my vision isn't quite as brilliant as usual through my mask, and so you looked younger."

She paused for a moment, looking down at me with a scrutinizing expression.

"Hm. Acceptable." She said, before holding her hand out to me, which I could only assume was meant to help me up.

Alright, what the hell kind of reaction was that? 'Acceptable'? What kind of eleven year old acts like that?!

"Um, so do you think you would be able to tell me where to find someone?" I asked, putting my confusion to the back of my mind as I got up.

"Why do you think I'd tell a suspicious person like you anything, mask freak?" She asked, crossing her arms.

I stared blankly at her for about ten seconds, trying to think of an actual answer for her, before taking what my mind deemed the best possible course of action.

Screaming internally.

Again, I was _very_ tired.

 _Wait, wait, calm down big guy… We had a plan for this, remember? We're a member of a small, fairly obscure clan of warriors from Hammerfell, and the masks are a family custom._

"Ah, right!" I said, all too aware that me taking at least half a minute to answer her question was doing me exactly _zero_ favours. "You see, I'm a member of an obscure clan of warriors from Hammerfell, and the mask is a family tradition. Only members of my family and my closest, most trustworthy friends are allowed to see my face."

In response, the girl just stared at me for a little while, that same, scrutinizing expression never leaving her face.

"Alright…" She finally said. "And just to be clear, who exactly is it you're looking for?"

"Um, I can't quite remember her first name, but Mrs Vallius?"

The girls eyes widened slightly, before the glare returned with a vengeance.

"Ellne Vallius?" She asked, the suspicion continuing to grow on her face.

"Ah! Yeah, I think that was it!" I said. "Yeah, can you tell me where I can find Ellne Vallius? I need to speak with her about Leone.

For some reason, the mention of Leone's name got the exact same reaction as the name Vallius did.

Surprise, and then suspicion.

And then the girl walked well within my personal space, grabbed the collar of my robe, and yanked me down so suddenly that I was too surprised to even resist. I could only stand there, hunched over and utterly speechless, as she stared directly into the eyes of my mask.

"How do you know my sister, Mask Freak?"


End file.
